So it may sound stupid, but I can't really decide if it is false memory ocd, or not. I have a cat. I got her recently. Sometimes, if she push my hand with her nose, I get a tingle in my groinal area. It is not strange for me, because if anything push my hand, I get that tingle, it's some kind of nerve thing, I get it. But that's not the thing that disturbs me. I heard from some people, that they enjoy riding a horse, because it is pleasurable for them down there. And the thought came, that what if I enjoy when my cat push my hand with her nose. I know, that you can enjoy your groinal response, but not enjoy the thing that caused it, but I still felt really anxious because of that. One day I patted my cat's head, and there was these intrusive thoughts, so as compulsions, I put my hand on my cat's nose. I felt the tingle, and then I don't remember exactly what happened, but I remember that maybe I enjoyed it, and the thought came that I wanted to do it again, but then I was like "it's my cat which causes it, so I don't want to do it". And I didn't put my hand on my cat's nose, just a little bit later as a compulsion, and I didn't get the tingle (fortunately). After that, I got a panick attack. I know that probably my ocd is playing with me, but I really fear, that I enjoyed it. I know that I'm not into beastiality, it's really gross, but I fear, what if I really enjoyed that feeling at the moment. I feel like a bad person, who don't deserve anything in her life. I can't study, because I think I don't deserve it (I really like studying), I feel bad for the people who loves me. I also one of the top students in my country, and everytime someone says "oh you are a masterpiece" or "you are a miracle, a really good person" I feel so bad, that I don't really deserve it. I have so many plans in my life, but I can't accomplish them, if I have these thoughts and I can't love myself. I don't really want to be a bad person. So, any idea, how to feel better, how to accept myself? Thanks if you read it.