I’ve had a lot of OCD episodes in the past but these ones are especially disturbing. I had the thought a while ago bc i saw a funny video and i thought i wonder what it feels like to have a penis( i am a woman) and then my brain went bezerk and said “ omg what if ur transgender.” and then i met someone who was trans and they were talking about they have always just known. and i started getting scared and i began feeling like scared of “what if i don’t like being in my body? what if i’m trapped in a body i’m not supposed to be in?” it took me a while to get over it but i did. then it started nudging it’s head back into my brain and i kept imagining what would it feel like and i like feel like i imagine what it would be like. then i saw a stupid tik tok of how a trans person tried to pee standing when they were growing up and i think i tried that when i was literally just a dumb kid, and it made me scared like holy crap what if i am like that. and it’s making me so scared it’s even causing me to be uncomfortable with my self and i just can’t deal with it. I have undiagnosed OCD i struggle w HOCD, ROCD, POCD, Pure-O, and a lot of intrusive thoughts.

Melodyocd

Date posted: 4y

I’m really sorry you’re going through this, I also have HOCD and it can be a struggle, so sending big hugs to you ✨ remember to try and sit with the intrusive thoughts and not to “work them out” as it’s a compulsion and can make it worse, but I understand this is very tricky to do! I also think kids do a lot of stuff when they’re younger, it’s natural, I’ve deffo thought about what it would be like to have a penis, it’s just curiosity! I used to also run around butt naked wearing only my red sparkly welly boots because I loved them so much, but it doesn’t mean I want to be naked all the time now I’m older haha! Our thoughts are just thoughts not facts :)

anonymous

Date posted: 4y

it scared me so bad today bc now i feel so conscious about doing my daily routines like makeup and hair and i’m like well i feel like i shouldn’t be doing this:/ i’m not a boy trapped in a girls body in a woman and i always have but now i’m feeling uncomfortable and like confused and i hate it i just wanna be happy and my self but i feel so UGH and i feel like it won’t get better. like what if it’s true and i have to leave my boyfriend who i love so so so much, and everything will be different and i’m just scared to talk about it :/

Melodyocd

Date posted: 4y

@anonymous I also get this sometimes, I love looking girly and all cute but then my intrusive thoughts attack and say I’m just faking it to “appear straight” but I just try to remind myself that thoughts aren’t facts and to not give the thoughts any importance. As after all if I like looking girly then I like looking girly! And if you love your boyfriend then you don’t ever have to leave him! It’s just your intrusive thoughts making you feel like that!

anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@MelodyOCD i’m literally tearing up this is the best app and thank you like literally so much! i wish we could connect on a diff platform so we can have like checkins and like help eachother lol

Melodyocd

Date posted: 4y

@anonymous Awh no worries at all! This apps so great for helping one another but I agree a platform like that would be amazing! Sometimes I just wanna give everyone on here a massive hug haha

anonymous

Date posted: 4y

i’m a woman**

anonymous

Date posted: 4y

and it’s making feel uncomfortable with my own body and maybe it’s bc i haven’t really taken care of my self but i’m just so overwhelmed and i kinda wanna give up

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