Plz answer this !!

Well hey guys , imma let you hear a story So this was before I had known what ocd was and it was absolutely overwhelming , I have harm ocd and I had the thought of hurting My family . So there was one night where I couldn't just get rid of my thought and I thought I was a pyscho , so I decided to check myself by going to the kitchen to reassure myself and ngl this was the worst mistake of my life , don't worry I didn't kill anyone but when I went into the kitchen , I saw the knife and the images came running back , I thought I was just going to kill my family so I ran from there admist of having a panic attack . And I remember how overwhelmed I was that day and now I'm scared that what'd happen if i killed my family , like I feel so so so so guilty and everyone was sleeping so I could have killed everyone and I am so scared right now .

Sorry for the paragraph

I don't know if it was ocd and I don't know if I am oberthinking rn

They weren't exposures I was just trying to reassure myself and I didn't even know what ocd was at that point and it was during nighttime when everyone was sleeping which makes it worse

And now I can't stop thinking about it , like what do I do

Thanks for helping me