After a morning of unwanted thoughts I got really triggered by a picture while doing ERP. Now it feels like it all true and it's all denial at this point....😭😭😭😭😭

False attraction but it feels genuine. It's doing the exact same thing to me right now. But I'd rather not have a penis than do some shit but then my mind backfires on me.

Bro, do you ever feel like because you are older than a lot of the people on here suffering from HOCD, that it somehow makes yours worse or like you dont have it????

@Jbm421 Yeah 100% mate I've had a bad morning I've cried bad again like I used too I can't continue I think what if I'm just in denial and I have to live with this misery all my life. I can't half of what I used to feel for women. And I keep referring back to the bachelor guy 😔

@Ihateocd83 Bro, not to give you or even myself reassurance, but the amount of stress and distress that we experience over this is enough of a clue that this is an obsessive disorder and we have to acknowledge and accept the thoughts (hell even thank the thoughts to give it less power) and keep on moving.

@Jbm421 Why do I get these negative thoughts about women ?. Yesterday I was at a shopping centre and I was checking out the women but it felt like it was being forced if that makes sense 😔

@Ihateocd83 It has to be the amount of attention we give all this negativity. Regardless of how they feel, all of these thoughts, the gay thoughts included, are negative. Everytime I'm in public I feel like I'm doing the same. But we are programmed to do so, we are guys who like looking at pretty girls. But we are not in a positive state of being at the moment. And this is me being positive after some really fucked up intrusive thoughts this morning.

@Jbm421 I just don't know if this is ocd the feelings and thoughts are just to real. I keep thinking I look gay and I think back when I might have found a man attractive and I think this must be true

@Ihateocd83 The feeling are gonna feel real. That happens to all of us. I've had the shit thinking I look gay and I worry about thinking that a dude is good looking means something when actually it means nothing. It's all bullshit. I was just thinking about an ex. That was real but my mind tries to throw in a dude because of my habit of thought. That's what is happening. It's our habit of thinking.

@Ihateocd83 This shit is hilarious bro. I was nervous about going to the gym again despite still being able to face every down. I get to the gym and very few dudes are triggering me but of course can barely feel the females (there was one that was so my type) but then the only thing triggering me is a girl who is really fit (she got a some muscle). I'm like really??? That's the gym trigger???? Wtf???

@Jbm421 I'm worried mate ever since I watched that video with that bachelor I felt like some of the stuff I could relate. And in my head I was like cute and nearly every time I think of any guy. Feels like I'm kidding myself 😔

@Ihateocd83 You are put more into it than you need to. Idk if I could ever watch that. Damn I'm triggered now.

@Ihateocd83 Remember you are you. Not anyone else.

@Jbm421 I haven't done any erp because I feel like a gay just looking at the pictures etc..

@Ihateocd83 I know exactly what you mean. And the loss of attraction makes that feeling worse. If I do the ERP to the pics and later cant feel shit for chicks in pics or in real life, it feels like I turned... But i push through and do the ERP anyways....

@Jbm421 Feels like it's to late for me 😔

@Ihateocd83 I've felt like that so many times it's crazy. Just say this whenever you have that feeling, "whatever, nothing I can do about it." Or even give the thoughts the finger.

@Jbm421 I've been getting angry today like .. I shout out like fuck off or get angry or short tempered with the boys

You OK mate ?

Mate are you OK?

@Ihateocd83 I'm ok. Been doing somewhat better and staying off of here. Got triggered bad last night but was able to face down my fear a little.

@Jbm421 OK mate sorry I will not message. I'm here if you need to vent 👊

@Ihateocd83 You can message all you want.

@Jbm421 If your trying to stay off here mate I get it 👍