- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
No I think your really worried
- Date posted
- 6y
Keep this in mind Ocd makes you hooked on reassurance Ocd is weird whatever you fear whatever you don’t like it’ll make it seem possible so you are uncomfortable sometimes you just don’t have to give a fuck and remember it’s just Ocd
- Date posted
- 6y
Gotcha. I guess I need to calm down. It's true that I try to check. I mean I went from not being able to take girls out of my mind to this... So sad. I'll try to find ways to calm myself down.
- Date posted
- 6y
Just want to add - I got these erections at age 18 when I never ever had an erection or feeling of attraction to any male or male in porn or even the sweaty muscular guys I used to do Jiujitsu with which you roll between a guys ball sake and literally dry hump them in a wierd fighting sense.... never did any real gay feelings come to mind when ALL THE OPPRTUNITY WAS THERE ;) ;) (to touch and feel and rub my body against guys) hahaha
- Date posted
- 6y
Do you still have hocd
- Date posted
- 6y
There are a few guys in here who have physically experimented with the same sex when they were young, yet they lived their life straight and didn't think twice about what they did until HOCD hit them. I never did that bc I didn't want to, but I was curious. I was bullied and called gay when I wasn't. I had liked girls ever since I can remember. I remember seeing I topless woman at the beach at the age of 8 and had my first massive erection in public. I couldn't stop looking at them. Heck, I even had my first experience with a girl when I was 10, nothing special (kissing, touching) but it was amazing for me at the time I was like "a girl likes me! This is amazing!". Anyway, long story short, I couldn't even get a date with this girl I liked at the time and was getting a lot of intrusive thoughts as a result of the bullying and started to wonder what it would be like. This whole situation messed me up. Kids can be really mean
- Date posted
- 6y
I just woke up and the first thought after waking up was about a guy and I got an erection I mean for the past 3 days I was ocd free and today it just came back not sure if my erection is just a groinal response or am I actually gay
- Date posted
- 6y
Iam no profesional maybe your confusing the two things Iam 50 thank god I wake up with an erection still but remember what Ocd is the opposite of what you want
- Date posted
- 6y
I've stopped waking up with morning erections since a couple of years now. I rarely wake up with one and I'm in my late 20s. My sex drive is also gone. Do you think that's abnormal? I guess I should go to my GP
- Date posted
- 6y
@deputydean wow I feel the same man. Really. Just shows how HOCD is actually not bs
- Date posted
- 6y
It is bs either your gay or not if it bothers you says a lot Ocd can take shape in many forms that’s just one of them Iam not trying to simplify it but it’s all a bunch of garbage
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
- Students with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
- Date posted
- 11w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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