I’ve had such a rough day today. If you have the time, please read and maybe give some insight. I could really use it 🤍 So yesterday I got my first shot of the vaccine. Ever since I woke up today, I’ve been in so much pain because it felt like every bone in my body was aching and brittle. That already set me up to not have the best day. Then, I had to go to a large gathering with my boyfriend and his friends, which is always something that triggers me because I struggle with severe social anxiety. This gathering was outdoors, and as I was walking around the yard with my boyfriend, I noticed a very small baby bird laying on the ground, with no nest or mama bird to be found. I immediately got out my phone to look up what to do, but everyone that came around to look at it said we should just leave it alone and “let nature do its thing”. This bothered me so much because I’ve always cared so deeply for animals. I struggle with what I call “hit and run OCD” and am always constantly checking my rear view mirror when I drive to make sure I didn’t run over / hit a person or an animal. I won’t even kill bugs because I feel so horrible about it. Even though everyone kinda brushed me off, I continued to read about what I could do. I found out the best option would be to pick it up, place it in a container with some sort of warmth, and call a wildlife rehabilitation center when I could. It sounded like the perfect plan to me, and one that would be easily attainable. However, when I mentioned it to my boyfriend, he said “I don’t know, I just don’t think we can.” At this point, I had been shot down so many times that I just gave up; I started to feel like I was crazy for wanting to save the bird. Fast forward, my boyfriend and I went back to his house and I immediately started sobbing about this baby bird. I felt like such a horrible person for not saving it, and I was extremely frustrated with my boyfriend and the others for not caring or wanting to help me. I told my boyfriend I was upset with him, and I could tell he truly felt bad and felt as though he had made the wrong decision. However, this didn’t make me feel better. I also struggle with ROCD, so my mind immediately started going a million miles a minute. I had so many thoughts of “I shouldn’t be with him” “Why would I want to be with someone who wouldn’t help me save an animal” “I should break up with him now because of this” “I’ll never be able to forget this happened and it will always bother me” etc. I just feel so awful in so many way right now and don’t know what to think. I know I love my boyfriend so much and want to be with him forever, but I also know I struggle so greatly with letting even the smallest of things go. I just don’t want this to be something that sticks out in my mind forever.

Overthinker247

Date posted: 4y

I think you handled it better than I would have. So kudos to you but also just reread your story and maybe think about it as if you were listening to someone else. What would you tell them to do?

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I know that what I’m about to say is reassurance and I shouldn’t do that. I also know this isn’t the point of the story. However, you did the right thing by not attempting to help the bird. I also feel very empathetic towards animals. I love animals and I study them and would never hurt a fly. I also can’t kill bugs lol. But when you see a baby animal without a mom, it doesn’t mean it’s abandoned. Often times, animal moms leave their babies while they go hunt for food or build shelter. It’s a perfectly normal part of life and it teaches the baby how to fend for themselves when the mom isn’t nearby. Also, trying to relocate the baby causes so much distress to them and distress to the mom when she comes back to her usual spot and finds her baby missing. The only time wildlife really needs to be helped is if it’s visibly in trouble (I.e. hit by a car, injured, trapped in a pool.) We all get so caught up in trying to help that we sometimes forget that wildlife is meant to be wild! I’m so guilty of this too, and it comes from a good place. But most of the time humans try to help, we’re actually harming the natural order of things. So don’t feel bad! That bird is perfectly fine 😊 and for your ROCD. Just remember that it is just OCD. Is there a possibility you don’t want to be with him? It’s possible. Is there a possibility that it’s just your OCD talking? That’s also possible.

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