A big mix of emotions... staying with my partners parents on their farm in NC right now and it’s been really good! We went out to eat tonight, and I was targeted by a man who kept commenting on my genitals and how he wanted to r*pe me, and then threatened me and my two in laws. I am a transgender male, and went to the men’s restroom - in NC I typically steer clear of that although I have had sex reassignment and have changed my gender marker on all of my documentation. I went to the men’s restroom because the other restroom was occupied and I really had to go. It was single stall bathrooms and so I didn’t think much of it. I was doing my business and I heard someone trying to unlock the door and banging on the door from the outside. I cleared my throat and in my deepest voice said “occupied” but they kept banging on the door. When I finally came out two men were laughing and I kind of chuckled along and was like “oh sorry guys you know how the pad Thai is here!” One of the men laughed and just said that they were joking about women using the men’s restroom, and I laughed nervously too and just wanted to get out. The man who said that went to the bathroom, and the other guy started making inappropriate comments to me, saying “you know you don’t have a penis so you’re not a man.” Now I was dressed in a suit and was wearing nice shoes and all around looked sharp. I was dumbfounded and kind of sarcastically said back “man, you don’t know what I have.” I kept walking and he said “yes I do, you don’t have a penis but I do and I could f*ck you with it.” I looked at him shocked and said “yeah, sure you do.” And went to sit down. He kept making comments as I was walking away, saying I was disgusting and a few other things. I was looking concerned and so my in laws asked what was up. I recanted the information and they were furious. They confronted the man when he came out of the bathroom and he admitted to making comments about my genitals. He then hurled racist comments to my in laws - father in law is Filipino and mother in law is Ecuadorian. After some more altercations and a few other people in the restaurant getting involved, we ended up calling the non emergency police number. I filed a report and everything but I still feel so weird. Honestly, I feel strange not because of his comments (I get harassed a lot unfortunately) but by the reaction of my family and other people in the restaurant. I brush it off so much, I don’t think I realized how much it bothered me. It was somewhat relieving to have my in laws react this way. All the way home they were reassuring me that people don’t treat our family this way (I’m unfortunately estranged from my biological family because of my gender identity). I’m still baffled by the whole ordeal and want to take action. I want to write an article about this or something. It was wild! But I felt so supported and loved. I’m going to press charges for sexual harassment and see if it will go anywhere. So many times this has happened and nothing has been done, or supervisors haven’t believed me, or police officers have put their hands in the air, saying there is nothing they can do. I’m concerned that the HB2 bill will be used against me and I will be seen as breaking the law. Any advice on this? Also as it pertains to ocd, some of my obsessive thoughts are “I am not safe because of my gender identity,” “nobody cares if I get hurt so I have to be on my guard,” “people won’t believe the things I say so I shouldn’t say them,” “I endanger people because of my gender identity,” and “I have no home.” This really was an exposure exercise in a way because that is one of my worst fears just playing out- but as the thought was creeping in my head, I chose to speak up about the incident even though it was uncomfortable. The police are a big no no for me but I’m glad we reported the incident. It honestly helped me work through a lot of my fears and thoughts in a way I didn’t know was possible. I was proven wrong. And although I may still have those thoughts, this was definitely helpful in combatting those feelings and the desire to perform my rituals to escape the situation.