Ok, so I need to get this out of my chest. Today I've been dealing with immense feelings of guilt, of fear, I slept for hours during the morning and early evening just to avoid dwelling on these thoughts. I think I'm developing pocd, after dealing with hocd for two years. My trigger was reading a story in a website. I won't go into much detail, but it was bad. Immediately after I started feeling sick, I don't know if I ever had an anxiety attack, but that was close to it. I felt grossed out, and so afraid that now the police would barge into my house to arrest me. I've been having some paranoic thoughts in the last days, and I'm afraid that people will label me as bad and denounce me just with this post. I think this panic is something that may have caused this strong reaction in me. This was yesterday and I'm feeling awful, caught up inside my head. I couldn't concentrate in class today, couldn't get my stuff done, I just wanted desperately to sleep it off. If anyone has something to say, please do, I really need advice right now.

Yes. Sometimes I start to get distracted but the thoughts and the feelings come over again. I feel terrible and afraid. Like, as I read your answer I started to wonder if you think I'm this bad person.

@Lavander I feel like I'm going to be sick. Everything that I see or hear has been triggering me. I'm so scared.

@Lavander Hi! No, not at all! I can’t imagine what you’d think of me if you heard my thoughts right now. I am literally in a 10 on an anxiety scale. The reason I asked if you were thinking about and I assumed you might be, Is because you’re in a spiral and you need to pull yourself out. I try to recognize when I’m about to spiral and take note of that feeling. And not start thinking about the thought further. Rather let yourself be uncomfortable without thinking about it, it will always take you to the same awful place in your head. I know!! Our minds want so badly to get pulled in I have to work so hard against going into thr what ifs…you’re NOT alone and don’t worry. Bring yourself back to right now, no more thinking about the thoughts and accept that it will be hard not to . I hope that helps! And by the way if the thoughts do pop up again that’s fine! Mine do all the time I just label them as OCD and if my OCD steps up and says but what if it’s not…I know that’s the same as a compulsion…so we have to stop giving it that power. Thought pops up ok, just allow and keep on with day don’t question the thought or give it the attention it wants🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🌺

@Lavander How are you ?! Checking in!

@Anonymous Thank you so so much. You have no idea of how much I needed to hear this. I struggled a lot with hocd in 2019, and after the illness sets back a bit, it's easy to forget how bad it was. I remember now, but I don't feel like I'm as strong as I was before. It's so awful to get caught up in our own minds and forget about the real world around us. I'd never hurt anybody, I have no idea why my brain has latched onto that idea, I'm hurting so much right now. I'll try to pull myself out like you said, and try to stop thinking about it. I feel like being stuck at home and being isolated from my friends will make this much harder, but I'll try. Thank you so much, you have no idea how much being heard means to me. I hope you manage to get better too. And just answering your initial statements, I'd never ever judge you based on your thoughts! I really know better than to do that with anyone, specially people that have anxiety.