I’ve started uni this year after not studying for 12 years & it’s exposing the perfectionist elements of my OCD. I went into uni with the mindset of “play, experiment, don’t take anything too seriously & be Ok with making mistakes (that’s how we learn!)” but am finding myself spending days & nights in front of the computer re-writing short, relatively inconsequential essays. Lack of sleep & constant focus, screen time is feeding the anxiety of it not being “just right”. I usually find having a project to work on keeps my mind preoccupied enough to not be affected by my usual intrusive thoughts about food (poisoning, spiking, cannibalism etc) which I’ve looked at as a positive, but it’s becoming less of a positive & more of a negative . & like other manifestations of my OCD it’s taking a toll on my life in other ways. Sometimes like today I feel like I don’t exist unless I can compartmentalise these parts of me, to resist indulging my obsessions is equally as painful, shameful & confusing as actually indulging them. Anyone else!?!? Anyway.... I’ve had better days & it’s important to remember they’ll be back. I’ve got a couple months ahead of me to do this on my own while my psychologist is on leave which is why I’ve downloaded this app to use in the meantime. All is not suffering x

Oh man! This rings so true! There’s a couple things that sometimes helped me: 1. Remembering that most work not only doesn’t need to be perfect, but has a level of expectations that I might hit with a first draft. — The times I handed in a first draft and got excellent grades helped me the next times I wanted to perfect something! — Another example of this is when I made costumes for marching band color guards. Stitches of an heirloom quilt are closely judged, but even imperfect seams aren’t noticed from the stands. Guard costumes just need to look good from 50 feet or more away! 2. It’s so much better to get something in than nothing. I have more trouble with that than the first, despite how similar they are. 3. This one is tricky, but has also helped me at times: I sometimes tell myself it just has to be done enough for the assignment or the test or whatever deadline, and that I can go back and perfect it later. This is tricky, because then some of that stays on my growing to-do list, though in honesty, I don’t return to most items because I don’t need to. So glad you have us while your therapist is on leave. I’d also suggest seeing if your school has an accommodations office that can help specifically with students with disabilities. My office became a support system for me. When I really needed it, they could also be my liaison to have understanding from professors. However, most of the time knowing they were on my side helped me enough without much else needed. Best of luck. We OCD sufferers can thrive at school, but it can also be so difficult. I hope for you in returning now that it is the former and less of the latter. 💪🏼💜

I so know what you mean when you say that not doing the compulsions is painful. I also have a huge fear of things getting put in my food. It consumes my mealtimes and I end up skipping sometimes.