- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I struggle with this too it’s terrible
- Date posted
- 4y
For real it feels like identity-loss I don’t know what to do anymore. My family and pets where my anchors because I’ve always been an anxious person and they were my escape from reality but now I just feel lost because these thoughts got in the way and are not letting me live peacefully. It moves me to tears everyday
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous I can relate to this so much. I also have harm ocd, and in typical ocd fashion is latches on to the people and things you love the most. Sometimes I feel like I’ve completely lost myself.
- Date posted
- 4y
@AlwaysAnxious Right, sometimes my mind tells me that I belong to a mental facility. It’s crazy and it started out of the blue it’s like my mind doesn’t want me to enjoy anything
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous Yes! Mine started completely out of the blue too, and I find myself wishing I could go back to before I had that thought. Are you able to see an OCD soecialist? It could help.
- Date posted
- 4y
@AlwaysAnxious I’m only 19, about to live on my own in a few months and I’m not financially independent yet so knowing that the extra expenses for therapy will be a burden to my family and the fact that those thoughts are so disgusting to even admit to them are not helping to solve any of my problems now. I just want to act normal to them knowing the distress I might cause. They’re not familiar with OCD and they’ll probably think I’m going insane..:( therapy seems so far out of reach at the moment for me.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous Do they know you have any kind of ocd or anxiety?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Kls2121 No, every time I tell them I’m anxious about something they are like “don’t be, everything is going to be fine, you’re completely healthy and you can move on”. So I never have even visited a professional to tell me what excactly I’m going through. They’re great people and have helped me multiple times but I can’t talk to them about ocd and these thoughts I feel like they will not understand me and I will stress them too much. I can’t really tell anyone to be honest, in my country no one’s educated about it and I will most certainly be judged and I don’t wanna lose anyone from my life. Sad times, I know
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous I am so sorry you feel this way. I have told my family all about my anxiety but not my ocd. Im to scared. I have harm ocd and I think they will think I'm just crazy. Even if you don't talk about the ocd maybe just tell them listen my anxiety is not going away and I can't control it anymore and need to get some sort of help. Obviously it seems you have a great relationship with them so telling them you can't do this anymore maybe will have them wanting to help you. You don't need to discuss the ocd with them just get it in their head you need help and it's not going away.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Kls2121 I’ll see how I will handle this for now but I don’t want to scare them. I really love them they’ve done everything for me and telling them about my thoughts feels like a betrayal to all the love and acceptance they’ve showed me. If I feel like losing control of my anxiety I’ll probably only tell them about that. Thank you I hope you’ll get better and remember there’s this forum where you can talk to people who will understand❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 11w
How do you tell friends and family about ocd? Like it makes me so anxious and I feel like such a terrible person. A lot of my intrusive thoughts are on my kids. And I hate every single thing that comes into my head.
- Date posted
- 7w
I am very new to this app and to accepting that I likely have OCD. I am not diagnosed yet, but I have suspected that I have it for years now. I think ignoring it/feeding the reassurance loop led to my first really bad panic attack a few days ago that put me in the hospital and essentially forced me to stop hiding my struggle from my loved ones. I had another one last night, and out of habit I’m already hiding my feelings from my loved ones. I’m having thoughts that I know are OCD but they’re very hard to get past because they feel so logical? Some examples: -I shouldn’t tell anyone because it wasn’t as bad as the one that hospitalized me -my loved ones are already tired of hearing me talking about it and I feel bad burdening them -I just had the last one and if I tell people about this one I’ll look like I’m attention seeking -I don’t want people to ask what the trigger was so I shouldn’t bring it up if I don’t want to have to answer that question I’m naming them here not for reassurance, but to help myself hopefully label these things as OCD per usual trying to keep me from getting help. The hardest part of this journey so far has been accepting that there are so many things that feel like normal, rational thoughts and feelings that having been hurting me and feeding a vicious cycle for years on end. It feels unreal because these things have become such subtle integrated parts of my life and my routine, and telling myself those things are harmful just feels wrong. It’s like what I have considered my “gut feeling” for years isn’t actually my intuition looking out for me, but is an overactive fear response that has been isolating me from everything and I’ve never questioned it because the isolation, the reassurance, feels good and like the right thing to do. How do I push past these thoughts and be honest with my loved ones about my struggling? How do I rewire my brain to stop the reassurance seeking and compulsions when it’s the only thing that’s made me feel better all these years?
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