Lately in therapy, I’ve learned how OCD doesn’t come unless there is general anxiety first. It helps me to think about what I’m actually anxious about when i start thinking irrationally with OCD. My goal right now is to feel anxious without it flipping into OCD. OCD only makes me feel some what in control when i feel helplessly anxious. It’s all a lie!

It is crazy how long I have been suffering from OCD without even knowing, since most of my compulsions are mental. Now that I'm more able to identify OCD, it is insane how sneaky it is and tries to direct every negative emotion towards my theme. My therapist is wonderful and even though some of the things she says trigger my OCD. I know it's because I can't know for certain and that's the whole point of OCD therapy. I'm nervously optimistic about the future, but the idea of not knowing for certain is still really triggering for me.

I've been struggling about OCD for a long time and I've only been made aware of it now. It's the cause of all my worrying, compulsions, and all the times I feel unpeaceful. When I first learnt about it I felt really relieved. My kind of "obsession" are intrusive thoughts that contradict my faith and values. I've spent years fighting these thoughts and doing compulsions of seeking reassurance from verses or praying and such or saying "no I don't!!" when they happen. I try to ignore them anduse cognitive defusion but sometimes it just breaks my peace. Another obsession I have is having images in my head about touching dirty things like the rust in my bathroom. A compulsions I have regarding that is imagining myself being anywhere BUT the bathroom but it doesn't stop. Now that I know, I'll try and find a way to heal, and figure it out with myself and God (because I can't rely on my parents, they're not the open-minded kind regarding mental health)

Good morning! I’ve been diagnosed with OCD for 5 years now, but just began looking for help with therapy. I’ve been well regulated on SSRIs for 5 years, but since my husband got laid off, we moved to a new state, I took a new job in a new field, and we are living with my parents at the moment, I’ve been struggling with depression, anxiety and OCD. Im maxed out on my SSRI, and I also want to push myself to find answers for myself without turning to medication, because with big life changes, I’ve always increased the dosage and never addressed the issues at hand with ERP/coping. I have anxiety everyday while at work. Obsessive thoughts of “am I anxious right now?” “Will I ever feel better?” “Is treatment working?” “Can I do this?” “Am I scared to be alone?” “Am I truly happy here?” These thoughts send me into a space where I’m crying at my desk, struggling to get through the day, and feeling no self confidence. I’m not content with just being in the process and I’m struggling to acknowledge anxious thoughts without ruminating or trying to fix them- I want answers and fixes now and I’m so scared I’ll never feel or get better. Any advice? It’s messy - it’s not straight up OCD, but it also doesn’t feel like generalized anxiety.