I forget that by being very depressed and not eating a lot can also help you lose weight smh🤦🏻‍♂️😂. I’m at least under 200lbs now...

It’s just hard when I’m depressed about not being able to think about girls or think about sex with them whenever I want to all because of my ocd wants to put up some weird shit instead of the image of a girl. It just makes me depressed and have unnecessary anxiety that makes me not want to do anything with my life anymore.

@Issac11 It’s normal to be depressed with ocd. And it’s very normal to not be hungry when depressed but in order to stay healthy (which is important for mental health too), you need to eat to get nutritients

@Justmesadly I just don’t feel as hungry. I spend most of my day in bed cuz I’m up until 2 in the morning and by the time I wake up it’s time to get ready for work which is depressing. The only time I feel alright is when I get to work and drink a monster and face my ocd and then I’ll eat a snack bar and order myself something to eat for dinner. It’s just hard. I hate this ocd that interferes with my love life. The only way I can work on it is if I’m all serotonin up and don’t get triggered from my hocd to work on it but if I get triggered by hocd then I can’t work on the ocd of the thoughts that pop up when I see a girl cuz it just becomes a compulsion for hocd. I’m in an endless cycle of thoughts so it’s like what’s the point just cuz I face my hocd it doesn’t relieve the ocd that pops up when I see a girl it just doesn’t. Just cuz I don’t like guys doesn’t mean my ocd is done with me and created a whole new ocd of weird images and thoughts that come up when I see a girl. It is what it is. I can’t work the other ocd without compulsing for the other. It’s a whole circle of ocd that will interfere with my life. I can demonstrate it. I have no desire for men. I don’t think about sex with them. I don’t fantasize about being with a dude I just never did. There’s times in my days I can fantasize about a women but then when I get out of the fantasy I purposely think about a girl and there goes the ocd showing it’s face. If there was someone who not only has hocd but has ocd of whatever when face to face with a women I’m that guy. I’m literally fucked up with my ocd. Because when I just had hocd I could still push it aside and always think about sex with a women and when I was interested in a women could always get an erection for a women like I didn’t need to think about sex with a women to get hard for a women and it never crossed my mind that if I see a women I should think about sex with her to see if I actually do like her cuz I just would know if I liked her or not just cuz. I’m just in an endless cycle and there’s no fixing it. There is no erp for it other than just trying to live my life like normal. I just get super depressed when I’m purposely being triggered like for what? It’s not going to help. It’s like what if I just compulsed with my hocd then it means I have to do some form of erp for it which is to not check a women out to see if you’re attracted to her but just notice one if one shows up or comes by maybe. My erp for a women is if one walks by and the word “dude” shouts in your head or the word “dick” shouts in your head is to notice it and move on and to not go back and check her out to see if the thought is still there ok cool I could do that. Does it frustrate me when it shouts in my head and it happens to be a pretty girl yes but all I can do is notice it and move on from it. But then the compulsion is me going going back to check to see if it’s still there. Like I had this instance when I had a therapy session with my previous therapist which was my last one with just her to where at the end I had one of those words pop up in my head and instead of just noticing it and ending the zoom call or whatever I looked back and checked and no I didn’t notice the thought when I looked back at her but realized I compulsed and was like shit and I’m pretty sure I mouthed it to to where my therapist looked at me and then ended the call and I was pissed at myself for going back and checking because after the compulsion I noticed the thoughts were coming back again and just having a session with female therapist is erp. I even knew this when I had a session to where I had triggered myself before my session and went the whole hr of talking to my therapist and being triggered to where when she did a meditation for me and after I was done a girl who I’d never probably would be interested I couldn’t stop myself from just checking her out and I’m pretty sure my therapist noticed it and my therapist thought also it was a good time to test my anxiety because I ended up forgetting my keys so she purposely went down to the lobby to wait for me to sort of sneak up on me to test me and no I didn’t experience any anxiety and my therapist handed the keys to me and she giggled and I was starting to get an erection but what was I supposed to do wait till my dick came out before I left to my car to go home so I just noticed it and move on. But I’m aware of what my compulsions are. I’m aware of the erp that is necessary to do for my case but it’s just completely way to hard and as much of a confident person I am I’m not even sure I can do it.