I can’t touch anything my parents touch. (If any part of them touches it) . That includes people. I’m so isolated from my family I hate it. I was forced to move out because the family dog accidentally got in my room. It’s been almost a year and all my stuff is still in my old room because everything the dog touched is “dirty” now. I feel my workplace is “dirty” now after I tried to do an exposure and go to work “dirty” but it backfired and I have too much anxiety when I’m there and I have to come home and wash everything I touched that I need to bring with me to work. But it’s really difficult because I have two jobs and I have to go from the “dirty” job to the clean one and it’s all too much. I want to quit the “dirty” one but i don’t know how and I don’t want ocd to win.

I was like this too. I can’t touch my family or boyfriend as I have contamination ocd of dirt and also greasy substances such as moisturiser and suncream. I won’t touch them or anything they have touched or took on holiday and touched. I am now going to therapy and it’s helped as she can advise me and discuss what exposure to do and when the best time to do it is in my daily schedule. It’s client lead and she has helped to ensure that the exposures I start with are not too difficult as it puts you off. You need to start super small. So I am contained by suncream so my first exposure was to buy a towel the same colour as the one I took on holiday as I associated it with t however it did not have suncream on. That’s how little I started. Hope this helps x

There is something which I have been researching since starting exposure as I keep backing out and hate it. It’s called TMS I think however it is not covered by nhs and is expensive. It’s meant to work for OCD. the medication my doctor put me on has helped sooooo much. I was put on omega fluoxetine 60mg and I am like a new person already. It’s so much easier to do therapy and live my everyday life though one day I wish to live my life without therapy and tablets! Good luck finding what you need. It’s hard and I’m lucky to have found this app as so many people do not understand x

I have the same issue. Major contamination at my job. I work at a mall which triggers my exposure to a contaminated public bathroom and makes me feel contaminated every single day. No help in the horizon tet

i come understand. my biggest fear is food or kitchen items that others have touched. won’t go near them. this has caused much tension and many fights. my biggest piece of advice would be try to communicate

It’s literal hell. It’s torturing yourself to get better. It’s like watching someone die over and over again and you can’t do anything to stop it. At least that’s what it feels like to me.

Locustmoon I understand and I’m sorry to hear it’s so difficult for you. If I could give you a recommendation try sticking with ERP, it was so hard at me too at first I felt like I was about to bust with all the anxiety but trust me it does get better when you practice daily and have faith that it’s what it takes to make you better!

I’m sorry that you have to go through this. I know from experience it’s hell. I’ve had exposure therapy a while back but I never want to do it again. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I’m looking for alternative solutions if anyone has any.

Yeah it’s great to find people that understand. I want to try TMS I just don’t know how to go about getting referred . I’ve been on 60mg of that stuff too. Over time unfortunately it lost its effect. I’m just so defeated i don’t know what else to try. Once a month with my therapist isn’t working

Locust moon im sorry to hear your dealing with this. If I might ask, what turned you away form exposure and response prevention?

I see my therapist every week and ended up going private because the nhs ones just weren’t doing it for me

Bigruss I am curious about erp but not sure it will work for me. My contamination ocd is so bad since I have to use a public bathroom daily at work and it’s not the cleanest. While that is a fact, I still can’t imagine exposure such as touching the door handles etc. I may just bust too

With ERP You can start as easy or as hard as you like. It’s horrible but it’s the best and quickest way to deal with it and get better. I started my really simple and easy and hardly had any anxiety because it was something that didn’t bother me too much. Just to get the idea of it. We’re building up to now doing ERP for the actual contamination x