I can’t touch anything my parents touch. (If any part of them touches it) . That includes people. I’m so isolated from my family I hate it. I was forced to move out because the family dog accidentally got in my room. It’s been almost a year and all my stuff is still in my old room because everything the dog touched is “dirty” now. I feel my workplace is “dirty” now after I tried to do an exposure and go to work “dirty” but it backfired and I have too much anxiety when I’m there and I have to come home and wash everything I touched that I need to bring with me to work. But it’s really difficult because I have two jobs and I have to go from the “dirty” job to the clean one and it’s all too much. I want to quit the “dirty” one but i don’t know how and I don’t want ocd to win.

Hello everyone, I'm new here and have severe contamination ocd that has been happening the past four years since I was 20. I'm 24 now and it seems to be getting worse. I don't want to be around kids because I know they're germy little gremlins and carry the main thing I fear that caused my ocd to worsen. I shower whenever anything above my chest has been touched (neck, face, hair). I wash my clothes after one wear because they feel contaminated after the use. I refuse to let people touch my bed or clean clothes. If I hear that anyone in my family is sick I freak out intensely and have to stay away from them. I also shower if I've been in public and people were coughing near me. If I don't feel like showering and that my above triggers aren't contaminated I just wash my arms up to the elbow and go to sleep because I sleep in short sleeve shirts and my arms touch everything all day. I refuse to touch my face, neck or hair after touching my phone or anything else. I bring a travel blanket with me but have to wash it after every use. I use my shoe to open doors and press the cross walk button. If I can't use my shoe I use my pinkie and immediately handsanitize sometimes twice just to have my hands feel clean. I have to use a utensil to eat when in a restaurant and would ask to change it if I see it touch anything. I work at a place that requires me to use a phone so I have to shower and wash my ear. I hold my breath when walking past people. I can't sit back in the car or on the couch because it'll contaminate my neck and hair. I also have to do a double wash with my hands to feel clean. I used to do it for 20 seconds but I do the hand wash for 20 the 1st time then 30 for the second. I can't wear purses with straps that touch my shoulders, same with back packs. And I use so much soap and lotion that don't help keep my hands moisturized. And if I get triggered by anything I sit there in a quiet rage and ramble in my head because I know saying anything out loud will have me look crazy. There are times though that I get angry and close to tears when it feels like I've been contaminated and when my family makes fun of me for things I feel I have no control over especially the intrusive thoughts, emotions, anger, fear, and tiredness I feel on a daily basis. I'm scared of doing exposure therapy because I know they'll have me touch something contaminated and have me touch my face and not wash it how does that help it'll just make me angry.

I feel so weird and dumb right now, but my brother just moved back into town and needed a place for his things. His “things” meaning a dresser and bed. Well turned out to be a lot more than two things. My anxiety started racing, I could feel my body tense up, I couldn’t catch my breath. Now everything he has brought from “outside” (from his old apartment/ from touching the inside of the dirty y-haul) to inside my clean room. Now I’m freaking out that everything is contaminated. They put it in the bedroom I don’t use, except to store my extra “things”. Now his things are touching my things that I have left in that room as storage. I don’t know how to get out of my head that his “things” are contaminating mine??? Now it makes me not want to use that room.

Today i started job of coordinator at a school. I wanted to come out of my comfort zone which is actually my room and i wanted to come in the outside world. I thought i would get better if i spend some time outside but my ocd just flared up. I felt like the environment was not clean enough. I felt like people coming out of the restrooms contaminated everything. I felt the doorknobs and all the stuff was contaminated. Now i feel i am contaminated. After coming home i touched alot of my stuff which is also contaminated. But i cannot wash everything everyday so may be i would delay it to the day i leave the job which i dont want now. I want to do it least few months. I also have magical thinking ocd. I think if i get married and met my husband or his family in my contaminated clothes something is gonna happen and their house will be contaminated too. So i have to wash my whole wardrobe. I am feeling so anxious right now. Cannot do anything but sitting with thoughts