Does anyone else have Relationship OCD and is also polyamorous. I am both and I am struggling to find any resources or community about how these two identities intersect.

Thank you for replying and sharing your story! Unfortunately I don't have facebook so I can't join the group. My situation is a bit different: I have a long-distance partner (my obsessions mainly focus on him) and I also cultivate other relationships more or less long-term, as ethically as possible. I don't like to differentiate much between friendships and romantic relationships, and ideally I don't want hierarchy. But I'm still a bit new to this and still in the process of deconstructing normative schemes; honestly I have a long way to go. And OCD doesn't help of course (mine is a bit different, with a sexual orientation theme, but sometimes out of the blue it manifests like the thoughts you have--not being good enough, your partners having better sex or matching better with other people etc.). I have mixed feelings about polyamorous values and ROCD. On the one hand, some of these values are so great for welcoming uncertainty and taking some steps back from the stereotype of an ever-lasting, perfect relationship that ROCD sufferers dread and crave at the same time. So they can be used as a powerful tool against OCD. On the other hand, sometimes I feel like those values make me question everything and I wonder whether it actually feeds the obsessions, like "are you doing/desiring this because you genuinely want it or are you doing/desiring this because of societal conditioning?" Sometimes it's difficult to distinguish obsessions from genuine questioning and that's where it gets tricky. Regarding resources I sometimes watch videos from the "Awaken Into Love" channel; I like them because they emphasize many societal expectations about relationships that are called into question by polyamorous models, although they don't tackle polyamory per se. Maybe you know this channel already--if not, it might be relevant for you. Anyway I am sorry you are going through this, and I truly admire you for living by your values despite the obsessions. I hope you'll get through this, whatever time it takes!

Hey, I'm in a similar case; ROCD + trying to practice something along the lines of relationship anarchy, although I don't really consider these as parts of my identity. I understand your struggle, it's true that ROCD resources are very "monogamy-oriented". I'd be curious to know how you're experiencing this intersection if you're willing to share, you bringing up the topic made me realize there are interesting things here I haven't thought about.