- Username
- truya
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I agree with Hope, you know who you are now and you learned. Even if you’ve done something that you know now is wrong, that doesn’t mean that’s you anymore. Trust me, I’ve done things I regret a couple times too and I still get OCD as well. But remember who you are NOW, and who you didn’t continue to be.. you still deserve happiness.
Thank you both for your kind words, but if you guys found out about what I did... I’m afraid you wouldn’t think so.
@truya If people found out what I did and saw too people would look at me differently too. Just know that I wouldn’t ever judge you if I knew you. Something you did may have been f**ked, but trust me. I’ve thought, and done some f**ked stuff too and I know it’s not me anymore and it was a phase and lessons... just remember who you are truly, now. Not the past..
i don’t know what this habit was, but from what it sounds like, you learned and grew. like you said you “didn’t know it was actually terrible” but now that you know, you learned and grew. next step is forgiveness and self compassion. now that you know better, you have grown and that’s a good thing. dont let ocd do this to you, don’t get lost in the horrible cycle it’s waiting for you to get lost in. :(
Who decides what “deserve” means anyway?! 🥰🥰 I have been where you are SO often, it’s not even funny. I PROMISE that you deserve to be happy and at peace. I found treating the self as a friend helps: Assume a friend has the same regrets you do... You still care for them 🥰🥰 You can also reflect on what treatment from others may have led up to you making the decisions you did: Given the same limited information to work with, could other people have made the same mistake you did? Yes 😋 Would you be as hard on them as you are on yourself? Probably not 🐱 It may also be worth exploring who or what influenced you to feel your worth was tied to a few decisions, instead of the whole if your being simply for being. Easier said than done, I know. I still have to work hard to remind myself of these things. Thankfully, I start therapy today 🥳 Take good care of yourself right now. We are here for you 🌷
The guilt from my OCD is insane, sometimes I truly feel like I’m the worst person and I deserve death
I have real event OCD. I didn’t even know this had a name. This is the WORST kind of OCD there is by far. I’m saying this not as in “mine’s worse than yours” I’m saying this because I’ve had so many different types of OCD; seriously think of one I’ve probably had it. And while they were all out of this world AWFUL. This one is by far the worst because you can’t reason with yourself. Plus what I did is so bad I can’t forgive myself.
I have Real event ocd about things I did as a kid at 12/13. It’s killing me because it really happened but I feel like a different person now completely. my actions disgust me and it makes me feel like i don’t deserve to be alive. I constantly have flashbacks about the events and it sends me into a state of panic, I feel as if my younger self has traumatized my older self. i’m so scared that things I did make this true, i really am a bad person, even though i’m an adult now and would never never ever do that again. I’m so scared. All I want is to be a good person but I keep remembering gross things I did and now I feel like the biggest fraud to friends and family and everything good in my life.
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