- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I agree with Hope, you know who you are now and you learned. Even if you’ve done something that you know now is wrong, that doesn’t mean that’s you anymore. Trust me, I’ve done things I regret a couple times too and I still get OCD as well. But remember who you are NOW, and who you didn’t continue to be.. you still deserve happiness.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you both for your kind words, but if you guys found out about what I did... I’m afraid you wouldn’t think so.
- Date posted
- 4y
@truya If people found out what I did and saw too people would look at me differently too. Just know that I wouldn’t ever judge you if I knew you. Something you did may have been f**ked, but trust me. I’ve thought, and done some f**ked stuff too and I know it’s not me anymore and it was a phase and lessons... just remember who you are truly, now. Not the past..
- Date posted
- 4y
i don’t know what this habit was, but from what it sounds like, you learned and grew. like you said you “didn’t know it was actually terrible” but now that you know, you learned and grew. next step is forgiveness and self compassion. now that you know better, you have grown and that’s a good thing. dont let ocd do this to you, don’t get lost in the horrible cycle it’s waiting for you to get lost in. :(
- Date posted
- 4y
Who decides what “deserve” means anyway?! 🥰🥰 I have been where you are SO often, it’s not even funny. I PROMISE that you deserve to be happy and at peace. I found treating the self as a friend helps: Assume a friend has the same regrets you do... You still care for them 🥰🥰 You can also reflect on what treatment from others may have led up to you making the decisions you did: Given the same limited information to work with, could other people have made the same mistake you did? Yes 😋 Would you be as hard on them as you are on yourself? Probably not 🐱 It may also be worth exploring who or what influenced you to feel your worth was tied to a few decisions, instead of the whole if your being simply for being. Easier said than done, I know. I still have to work hard to remind myself of these things. Thankfully, I start therapy today 🥳 Take good care of yourself right now. We are here for you 🌷
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
- Date posted
- 16w
I look back at various past events in my life where I said or did things that I feel really guilty, disgusted, and ashamed about. I replay them in my head for hours. I feel anxious about crossing paths with people that I've hurt or upset in the past or who perceive me badly, to the point that I will avoid going out in public as much as possible. I go out for work, errands, appointments, and occasionally to eat (even though those all give me a lot of anxiety), but I avoid community events where people might recognize me and I tend to isolate myself. The only people I see regularly are my boyfriend, my parents, and my coworkers. I live in a small community and I'm worried about people confronting me publicly and proving what a bad person I must be.
- Date posted
- 13w
17f I have a lot of events, but my main and my worst one which is absolutely fucking diabolical was done when I was 14 and repeated when I was 16. Everytime I post something about real event ocd here people are like you are probably didn't do anything that bad, and when they hear what I did they are like yeah that's bad. Someone even asked me if I'm autistic cause "it's crazy how you didn't realize that the thing ypu were doing was wrong at this age." And I kinda agree, like it's fucked up It's just that my event is bad. Doesn't mean I don't have real event ocd. You can have a reocd over the event that was bad, it doesn't mean the event wasn't that bad or you don't have recod. It's just people always expect it to be something innocent and it's not Even a healthy person would feel guilty over it, it's just that I had ocd my whole life and it's making the guilt absolutely destructive, like to the point when I sometimes have a hard time breathing when I think about it, I lost more than a year of life to it, almost checked myself out couple of times if I wasn't so scared of pain/failure, the event haunts me in my dreams, it's in my head 24/7 and I will never able to forgive myself. That ocd. But the event itself was bad. So maybe i deserve it.
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