- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I am going through this exact thing right now and it has put me in one of the toughest periods of severe depression that I have gone through in quite some time. The hardest part is that I know my OCD does this to me, but then I question if it’s actually my OCD this time... like what if I’m so used to my OCD “crying wolf” that there is an actual wolf this time and I’m consciously trying to ignore it. I keep feeling that my relationship is toxic and I need to get out, but then I think it’s probably just my OCD... but like what if it isn’t and I’m actually in a toxic relationship..? My reassurance seeking has lead me to consider finding someone of the opposite sex who’s my age and having them evaluate my relationship to tell me if it’s actually toxic or if it’s just my OCD, but I’m fairly certain that would only feed it and make things worse.
- Date posted
- 4y
I question if my relationship is toxic too! It’s truly scary! Relationship doubt is awful!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I am and its driving me nuts....my husband and I have been married almost 8 years but been together 17 years. This has been the hardest OCD subtype ive ever gone through. Everyday is a struggle, I keep trying to make things better but in his eyes there was not a need to discuss certain things in our relationship that I'm perceiving are an issue for him but they are not. I now worry everyday when I look at him that he is sad and anxious but won't tell me whats on his mind. I don't know how I got to the place I'm in now but it feels like hell. We were the perfect couple and I loved (still love) Joe unconditionally never dreaming I would have a fucked up thought one day that would give me so much fear and panic in one day to totally change my life. Its hard because in all this I'm trying to get him to understand my OCD but could never tell him about the ROCD for fear he wouldn't understand and it would just make things worse. Im literally sad all the time. I could also use some advise.
- Date posted
- 4y
I wish I could give you advice but I am in the same boat! Hang in there <3
- Date posted
- 4y
OCD makes you feel like you have to solve or do something IMMEDIATELY or RIGHT NOW. It makes your “fight, flight or freeze” act up. ROCD is a hard subtype because you value your relationship with others and it makes you question what you value. I’m sorry you’re going through this right now :( <3 it is scary sometimes, best of luck
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much! I am doing a little better! I just have to remember it’s a thought and ocd targets what you love and care for the most
- Date posted
- 4y
@BubbaBoo12 It absolutely does target what you care about the most. You have to think of it as your evil twin sometimes because it knows everything about you, so it tries to misconstrue everything and make you doubt yourself and search for that certainty . Glad you’re doing better (:
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 18w
Recently my ocd keeps asking me if I love my boyfriend enough and that if I don’t love him enough I should breakup with him. It’s really bothering me and idk what to do about it. Sitting in the uncertainty is too much and I fear sitting with it too long I’m just gonna crack and give in to a compulsion.
- Date posted
- 15w
Do you ever feel like you wonder if your ocd would be less if you were with someone else? Or would it be better if you were with someone else? I’m really upset because I used to be able to enjoy myself even with the anxiety and now it’s like i am just analyzing and I don’t have feelings and I’m irritated because there’s things that frustrate me about him that I don’t like and my brain says if I was with someone else I would be able to deal with those things better and that we just aren’t right for each other. And the thoughts that used to make me anxious about breaking up don’t like it’s really me that feels it. I know no relationship is perfect but it’s like my brain keeps saying with someone else I wouldn’t feel like this or I would but I’d be able to handle it better. It feels like I have to just start fresh with someone new cause the ocd got too into this to the point where I don’t feel or even know what’s real. It feels like fear and anxiety and just being so into this has just made me feel not into this anymore but idk if I’m thinking right. It’s also just warped the way I see him like I only see the negatives and my brain keeps saying you don’t feel this cause it’s wrong. And it’s depressing bc of how happy and safe I used to feel. I’m supposed to see him soon and it’s like I want to but also don’t because I feel like things have changed unless that’s just something I made in my head and cause I don’t feel the feelings I used to. But then I think I will just be this way with someone else but then my brain says otherwise and it’s so confusing. People keep telling me not to make decisions because I’m fogged but it feels like I’m not. Like my brain is manipulating me. And also like all the things I used to like I’ve somehow turned into like distaste which is so upsetting. I would like to think this is just ocd taking control and confusing me and distorting my perspective but I’m scared it’s not and that my feelings are gone. Has anyone experienced this but it was still ocd?
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