Some struggles and some success lately! 8 yr old w/OCD. Biggest struggle, sleeping at night. Must be on living room floor with Dad on couch. And often worries that he’ll “never fall asleep.” Discussing in therapy a plan to slowly progress from that set him into panic and tears, he couldn’t even talk about it. Which proves we need to talk about it more. Success - he struggles immensely with food and worries of throwing up. He’s super tiny and underweight as it is. Will only drink water, ever, for years now. Friday he was proud to tell me he tried apple juice at school and liked it. Any branching out is huge! Baby steps and it’s such a roller coaster ride.

How long has the nighttime rituals been going on for? Why does he feel the need to sleep on the living room floor?

By the way.. only drinking water isn't necessarily a bad thing

The water is definitely good! I’m actually pretty impressed myself. I just need to find ways to get more calories in him because he’s so small. So I’m hopeful for a little juice to add in occasionally. :) He won’t sleep in his room he says because he doesn’t want to be alone. If you push him more than that he says he’s afraid he won’t be able to sleep, he’s afraid he will be sick and throw up and occasionally he will throw aliens in there too. He says he’s too scared and he will cry. He was the best sleeper as a baby and up until about 3 1/2. Right to his room to bed no problem ever. Then at 3 1/2 everything changed. He wasn’t diagnosed with the ocd until 5. He’s now 8 1/2. We got him away from sleeping with me, the many nighttime rituals that would last an hour or more have stopped, he had a thing where he wouldn’t get up until exactly 6:52 no earlier or later and that’s all over but now he’s at this point of sleeping on the floor very close to dad in living room. We haven’t been able to get past that yet and get him to his room.

what are the steps you are taking to get him into his room?

Our therapist came up with a chart plan. I made it with a Minecraft logo (bc that’s the fascination of all the second graders) and it had lots of squares. If he starts in living room and we put him to bed after he falls asleep and he stays there until morning 1 sticker. If he falls asleep in room but wakes up and comes back to living my room he gets 2 stickers for starting in his room. If he falls asleep in his room and stays there all night he earns 4 stickers! When he earns 7 stickers he gets a small prize. If he builds up 14 he gets a bigger prize and if he waits and gets 21 he gets a bigger prize. (A $5 toy to a $10 to $15.) all on his terms as to if he wants to try. If he doesn’t try he doesn’t earn a sticker that day and it’s ok. This worked for other things we dealt with at the beginning of his therapy and even with getting him to try foods and eat more. Both times were successful so this is the 3rd time we are doing this. I’m hopeful! I’ve been talking to him since I made the chart and I “think” I have him convinced to start and at least try tonight even if he wakes up and can’t get through staying in his room. Everything else if fairly stable right now so I think it’s a good time. Im a little anxious myself and really hopeful we get him through this one.

I've always felt that having rewards and sort of "gamifying" the recovery process is a great idea

It has definitely helped him want to try. Making it as positive as we can. I was thinking about it myself today. I don’t have ocd but I do have major depression/GAD/and social anxiety. Maybe a reward chart for myself with cool rewards for ME would make some of my own issues easier to deal with and get through. I like stickers and prizes too. lol

A reward chart for yourself sounds like a good idea! What are some of the top things you do to lessen the mental health issues you personally deal with?

I have a reminder posted at my desk at work and on my phone that says “Reset, Readjust, Restart and Refocus. As many times as you need it.” Anxiety attacks I try to breath through. I cry easily and tend to when the anxiety hits...that’s hard at work or in public but I keep pushing through knowing it will end. Remind myself what it is and what it’s not. Try to think of favorite song lyrics in my head to distract myself if it have to. Go for a walk.” I’m learning and finding it easier to work through the anxiety stuff just from all I know about anxiety now and just recognizing it for what it is. As well as learning to not care what other people “might” think. The depression is harder. When all I want to do is sleep and not do anything, forcing myself to do things is a lot harder. I make lists and simple schedules to try. That ones just a much harder battle for me.

It seems like you are really trying to push forward and stay positive, it's quite impressive! There is no reason to give up or not try to get better.. I'm confident that you can improve with everything you're writing

In 22 years since being diagnosed I’m at the best place I’ve ever been with it. I honestly credit the therapy for my son and all I’ve learned to be able help him. It took me awhile but I got there. I have to be ok to be able to better help him. The past 2 years have brought tremendous change and peace for me. Thank you for all the comments. I’m a sharer as you can see. That helps me too :)

You're welcome. I hope we can continue talking!

Me too!

It's good you are noting the successes! How can you encourage him to talk about it more?

I have no idea how except continuing to bring it up. Been trying to figure it out all week. We use a lot of positive “behavior” charts so to speak. I’m working on creating one for the sleep issues, we discussed logistics at therapy last visit. I think I will try adding that in? Depending on what he does/tries he earns 1, 2 or 3 stickers. After so many he can trade in for a prize or save for a bigger prize as he works toward our final goal. It’s his decision to try or not, if not, no sticker that time. I think I’m going to start it with just talking about it gets a sticker to get him motivated to want to try and fight through it. I’m hoping to work out the chart this weekend. I don’t know if it’ll work but worth trying. The nighttime struggle is one he’s faced since he was 3. It’s the one thing we’ve never been able to work through yet in therapy etc. it’s exhausting for all of us.