ewaedb
- Date posted
- 4y
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 4y
heyy i heard that this is called a backdoor spike and it's because you have been doing better so your ocd comes up with a new way to annoy you and it goes like "what if i like it that's why i am not anxious anymore" "what if it was never hocd" "what if i was in denial and i am starting to accept it" this is just your ocd coming up with a new way to annoy you i get that a lot especially recently as of today lmao but just know you're doing great
ewaedbewaedb
- Date posted
- 4y
But it's weird because I thought if I am getting better I'd also have wayyyy fewer intrusive thoughts. And I did for a day or two but now there are just as many as before just without the let's call it disgust and even when I get anxious about that it could mean it's true it's not the anxiety where I start having a panic attack it's just like omg what if it's true I don't want it to be true but not thatttt much anxiety around it if that makes sense. Also since you say its called a backdoor spike, is there any way to get rid of it or make it less intense? Thanks so much for your reply by the way, I really needed it.
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 4y
@ewaedb i totally understand everything you've written and i totally relate to that i got fewer thoughts for about 2-3 days then just as you said everything else started happening to me exactly as you described it i don't think there's a way to make anything "go away" because as you know ocd is intrusive but also uncontrollable thoughts trying to control them will make things worse i would hate to say this but it's true: try sitting with the anxiety i know how horrible and exhausting it is but any other way would aggravate the situation it's so difficult i know and i wish i could help more
ewaedbewaedb
- Date posted
- 4y
@Nour04 As in the anxiety that it could be true? I don't know I'm just finding it very hard to accept that these thoughts could be true, because it just feels so wrong to me. I do think I'm doing better, but there was almost a comfort in getting uncomfortable by the thoughts because that proved to me that they weren't true in a sense. I also thought that when you get better you are also supposed to have less of these thoughts aghhhh. I know in a way I'm repeating myself it's just so aggravating.
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 4y
@ewaedb no it's fine and yeah i find comfort in the anxiety because at least it proves i don't want that
Nik07Nik07
- Date posted
- 4y
The intrusive thoughts themselves don't leave easily. Even if you don't have anxiety anymore (which is a sign of getting better) the intrusive thoughts will only let go once you truly accept. You need to accept the thoughts. If you try to fight them, put logic to them, analyze them or avoid them they will stay and become even stronger. The only way to make the fade away is by accepting it. Say "Yes i want to be with a woman" or "So what" something that will mske the thoughts lose their power. Once you do that you'll be able to break free. Its a tough process.
ewaedbewaedb
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah I understand what you mean and it actually makes me feel better, thank you! I'm really trying it's just so hard to accept the thoughts. Have you found a way to do that easily? I'm guessing not, it's just a really tough process.
Nik07Nik07
- Date posted
- 4y
@ewaedb Not really an easy way. It has to take time and power in order to make it. For me the support of my girlfriend was a great way to get over it. I was very open to her about it and that helped me get iver the thoughts over time as saying yhe thoughts out loud to someone actually makes them a lot weaker. After I said my girlfriend about the thoughts they become much less significant and they slowly started to fade away.
Susan4444Susan4444
- Date posted
- 4y
Sounds like a back door spike. Did you ever see A Beautiful Mind at the end where he walks right by his old imaginary friends? They are still there but he doesn’t pay them attention or believe in them. I like to think of the intrusive thoughts like those friends. (Trigger warning for anyone with schisophrenia ocd it might be triggering movie)
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- Date posted
- 24w
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- Date posted
- 23w
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evasprog
- Date posted
- 8w
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