- Date posted
- 4y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
i saw somewhere from an ROCD counselor that love isnât always just a feeling, itâs also a choice, and this advice really helps me when i suddenly get scared that i donât love my boyfriend. because i know i truly do love him so much but when i donât feel it 100% sometimes it doesnât mean i donât love him anymore
- Date posted
- 4y
^Exactly this
- Date posted
- 4y
Iâve been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years and trust me, as an ROCD sufferer, you do not need feelings to stay in a relationship. If I went off feelings, my girlfriend and I would have broken up so long ago. Itâs the fact that I choose her. Because no matter what, feelings come and go, and you donât get to control them, but you do get to control who you love. And thatâs your choice. Stay well my friend
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you, its so hard to deal with OCD especially when its about your relationship :(
- Date posted
- 4y
I donât have ROCD but following what Iâve experienced from SO OCD, OCD can make you lose feelings. It can make you feel like youâve lost attraction and feelings to people you want to be with. I highly suggest you try to overcome your ROCD first. If you can get better, it becomes easier to know what is real and what is fake. Then you can make a decision. I just donât want you to make a decision youâll regret because of OCD brain.
- Date posted
- 4y
What is SO OCD
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous Sexual orientation OCD
- Date posted
- 4y
I see you are looking for reassurance! I commented on you previous post last night about your relationship. I think the best thing to do is ask for advice from your family and friends or a therapist if you have one. Dont look for answers from people online, especially from reddit posts, because those people dont totally understand or know your relationship. Especially if this is your ROCD talking, it's best to not seek reassurance on this app! đ
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm trying to find a therapist in my area but don't know if they do ERP, it says CBT
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah if u don't have any feelings for him what kind of life is that?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
just letting you know thatâs really harmful to say to someone who suffers from ROCD
- Date posted
- 4y
Donât reply if you donât know anything about ROCD
- Date posted
- 4y
But really think it through love
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Lately, Iâve been feeling like something has changed in me â like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. Itâs one of the worst sensations Iâve ever felt. I keep thinking things like âI donât love him like beforeâ or âIâve changed too much to feel anything now.â Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like Iâm being mean, cold, disconnected â and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now⌠I just donât feel the same. That makes me think: âMaybe Iâve fallen out of love.â But Iâm also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I canât relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is âright.â It makes me wonder â maybe I havenât actually changed. Maybe Iâm just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I donât know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isnât proof that love is gone, but a sign that Iâm scared and burnt out.
- Date posted
- 21w
I feel like Iâm falling apart. Iâve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Heâs kind, loving, supportive â and I know he loves me deeply. But I canât feel anything anymore. I sit next to him, and I feel numb. I kiss him, and it feels empty. I remember how I used to feel, and now⌠nothing. It terrifies me. The worst part is that I donât even know whatâs real anymore. I constantly question if I ever loved him, if Iâm just forcing things out of guilt or fear. Sometimes I imagine breaking up, and I feel nothing â and that scares me even more. I keep thinking: if I really loved him, wouldnât I feel it? Iâve read about ROCD. I want to believe thatâs what this is. But the thoughts feel so real. And I canât stop spiraling. My therapist didnât help â she made me feel like maybe I was lying to myself. My mom either tells me to stop overthinking or gets angry. I have no one to really talk to. If anyone here has been through this â through the numbness, the âwhat if I never loved him?â thoughts, the feeling like itâs all fake â please tell me how you got through. Iâm exhausted. I just want to feel peace again.
- Date posted
- 20w
I know itâs long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months Iâd say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause itâs been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasnât communicating how I should have been when I was upset because Iâve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but Itâs weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didnât feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that Iâm not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and itâs like thatâs the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I donât care like I used to because I think of how he doesnât deserve this when he does this or he shouldnât have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? Thatâs horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I canât do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And thatâs not how it used to feeel which scares me because I donât want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause itâs the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. Iâm scared. Is it possible Iâm just Iâve been mad and resenting how itâs been cause heâs been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I donât want to stay in something where I donât feel toward him the way I want to but I really donât want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesnât deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question himđ trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldnât think like this or feel like this.
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