- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m just scared all never find happiness again. Every time I i start feeling better or try to find love in something my OCD won’t let me
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s another trap and another fear. What if I never find happiness? What if questions are the OCD. I see it as trying to steal three things. My joy, my peace, my purpose. When I find joy in something I feel it shouting doubt or fear about that thing. Sometimes I have to see it as that bully and tell it to shut up and switch my mind to something I enjoy. It is helping to see it for what it is. It’s the OCD not me and I won’t let it win and steal my joy. When I feel discouraged and helpless I find I’m saying what if questions like what if I’m helpless and this overtakes me and I can’t handle it and and and... Is this happening right now? It’s another what if question by the bully. When I am able to properly distract myself I notice I feel so good and the bully doesn’t actually have the power it’s telling me it does. Don’t know if this is helpful.
- Date posted
- 6y
Concentrate on the facts.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have the same fears especially the fear of suicide. And the same questions go through my head all the time. I always fear as well "what if I never find happiness or I'm not as happy as u could be" which as Anjuli says is another OCD trap
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve had these similar fears. It has helped me lately seeing my OCD as a bully. It’s not me, it’s the bully trying to pull me in and use every trap possible to get me to ruminate and obsess. It lies. Even the idea that I’m stuck in this and I can’t handle it. Another lie. It’s trying to find whatever is the strongest fear to pull me in. Just think about what your biggest loves or priorities are and it is preying on those. For me it’s my kids, my faith, my life, and my sanity. All have been attacked by my OCD bully. It is telling you the opposite of who you are. If mental clarity is something you find very important it will shout what if questions about mental illness. It’s just finding that one thing that you can’t resist that what if questions to.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
- Date posted
- 20w
I dont know whats going on. I dont know if its OCD anymore. I know it was in the beginning. Ive been through a lot of trauma and had one little scary thought of killing my sister 4 months ago that has blossomed into this giant idea of me being a serial killer and wanting to hurt everyone (I never had any social issues growing up but I have had some trauma). Recently I’ve been having urges to just give in. And my mental images have been horrible and I can’t stop checking if I like them or not. I think I’ve convinced myself I have. This morning I woke up a shaking mess with an urge to unalive my family and when my mom left for work I was alone with my sister and couldnt stop vomiting uncontrollably. I dont know if i’m upset because I cant hurt anyone and I want to, or if I’m scared and just want my old life back. I was an avid horror and gore lover and now I’m convinced I want to do the things I’ve seen in the movies. Someone please help. I’m ready to check into the psych ward.
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