I can not stop obsessing that I’m going schizo... I keep thinking that I’m going to lose my mind any day now. I also keep obsessing over suicide.. I know I don’t want to do it, but with my Harm OCD I’m worried it’s the only way I can prevent myself from hurting others. This disease is so fucked up

I’m just scared all never find happiness again. Every time I i start feeling better or try to find love in something my OCD won’t let me

It’s another trap and another fear. What if I never find happiness? What if questions are the OCD. I see it as trying to steal three things. My joy, my peace, my purpose. When I find joy in something I feel it shouting doubt or fear about that thing. Sometimes I have to see it as that bully and tell it to shut up and switch my mind to something I enjoy. It is helping to see it for what it is. It’s the OCD not me and I won’t let it win and steal my joy. When I feel discouraged and helpless I find I’m saying what if questions like what if I’m helpless and this overtakes me and I can’t handle it and and and... Is this happening right now? It’s another what if question by the bully. When I am able to properly distract myself I notice I feel so good and the bully doesn’t actually have the power it’s telling me it does. Don’t know if this is helpful.

Concentrate on the facts.

I have the same fears especially the fear of suicide. And the same questions go through my head all the time. I always fear as well "what if I never find happiness or I'm not as happy as u could be" which as Anjuli says is another OCD trap

I’ve had these similar fears. It has helped me lately seeing my OCD as a bully. It’s not me, it’s the bully trying to pull me in and use every trap possible to get me to ruminate and obsess. It lies. Even the idea that I’m stuck in this and I can’t handle it. Another lie. It’s trying to find whatever is the strongest fear to pull me in. Just think about what your biggest loves or priorities are and it is preying on those. For me it’s my kids, my faith, my life, and my sanity. All have been attacked by my OCD bully. It is telling you the opposite of who you are. If mental clarity is something you find very important it will shout what if questions about mental illness. It’s just finding that one thing that you can’t resist that what if questions to.