Went to the gym and got a decent shoulder workout. Saw a couple cute girls which was nice haha. I felt like some dude was there triggering me in purpose maybe he was maybe he wasn’t but I still finished my workout even though my soocd was being triggered. I have my rational voice which always helps me out on top of my voice. It is what it is. Like I only need a little bit of erp to be done by a ocd specialist but can’t seem to find one who wants to do it. Like my previous therapist could build it for me again but she refused to do it cuz she didn’t believe in me anymore and would rather believe a psychosis theory that never went away while being on an antipsychotic so it is what it is smh. I mean I don’t want to feel what I feel every day. I don’t want to make my life harder and others too. I want to be normal and would like for a therapist to help me to be normal but they aren’t understanding me so I just got to keep going.

Yeah but I was told to just go about my day as if everything is normal and to let the thoughts be there which I do but I’m still stuck. I’m unsure of there methods on how to get someone like me unstuck and to be honest I hate teletherapy and like to meet a therapist in person.

@Issac11 What are you even saying haha? You’re statement sounds like you’re doing a ton of rituals. I did a 30 min session with ocd mindful and he told me all my rituals that I was doing. So I knocked them out one by one. Highly recommend his channel for the 1000% time. https://youtube.com/channel/UCX7a7Ydw1-lZq-cwHkeND2Q You can also email him to set up a 1 on 1 : ocdmindful@gmail.com

@Reassurance Destroyer I don’t have any rituals. I don’t do things the same way to keep me safe or anything. I don’t try to do any mental rituals as well. Sometimes I can catch my mind doing it and not just going with the flow and letting things just happen as they happen and just move on from it. My mind does get scared sometimes and I notice it but I do actually try really hard not to do something to aleviate the anxiety. I do practice erp.

@Issac11 Haha looking for attractions in the gym is a RITUAL!

@Reassurance Destroyer I wasn’t looking for attraction. I didn’t go to the gym to check out chicks. I just noticed there was some cute girls there. There was ugly girls there too but I don’t go out out my way to see if I’m attracted to a chick or not. If I am I am. No hard feelings if I’m not just saying.

@Issac11 Lol then why do you need a therapist if you have no rituals

@Reassurance Destroyer Cuz I’m still depressed and unsure of what I want in life. I have mental rituals not a lot but still some. Going to the gym and checking to see if I’m attracted to a certain sex isn’t one of them. I go to the gym for me and don’t care to be bothered by people at the gym cuz I’m doing me. I just added on my post I noticed some cute girls at the gym cuz there was and wanted to add it to my post just cuz I wanted too cuz I wanted too. You’re taking things out of context which is fine cuz you don’t know me or know why I posted and can only go off what is said as opposed to knowing how the person is feeling and what they actually mean in there posts. So I’m not going to debate about anything with you and just say I appreciate the advice.

What doesn’t sound like ocd? Having repetitive thoughts and doubting thoughts as I look at person for brief seconds repeating the same thing over and over again and having what if’s is ocd. I just have a really good understanding of what ocd is but just need a little more help cuz me just telling myself it’s just ocd isn’t as strong as an ocd specialist telling me I have ocd. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and have alot of the same stuff anyone else who is pure o has. I just don’t show it cuz I have a better understanding of erp and can just already do it on my own for the most part.

For instance my brother is about to watch a basketball game it was on the announcers they were dudes. My ocd said “”cute and my mind said “what if I’m gay” and my rational voice said “no I’m not shut up”. I’m watching a tv show my ocd said “suck his cock” my face made a gross face on its own and my rational voice said “ shut up”. When I’m seeing a girl my ocd saids “big dick” I agree to the thought and my rational voice said “fuck you” so I’m almost there but I know I still have rituals that my mind makes me do to have the thoughts start over again after feeling better about myself.

Nothing I have isn’t ocd. Everything I have is ocd and can prove it to a therapist. After 3 yrs of therapy I can fully show a therapist my ocd now and just need a little help.