- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
omggggg i saw this reel too!!!! just 2 days ago and i cried my eyeballs out for an hour!! and then i started getting scared because "what if i cried because i felt called out which means i am in denial" this literally happened 2 days and i was FREAKING out, and it's the same reel!! i had questioned myself before hocd because it was all over tiktok, and i even took tests, and after my ocd(i hope it's hocd and not denial)i started taking more tests for reassurance, and this reel sent me off the edge. i had been doing better but then i saw that video and cried for a whole hour then had a terrible headache for the rest of the day.
- Date posted
- 4y
plus i have a gay friend who knows about my ocd, and he knows A LOT of people who have questioned themselves, even thought they were bisexual but then found out they were straight. questioning is a normal part of development, everyone does at some point. does it necessarily mean they're gay? no i don't think so but honestly that reel was so damaging, and hell it was yesterday not even 2 days ago sorry for the mistake, but i crumbled literally started sobbing for a full hour until i couldn't take it because i don't want to be gay
- Date posted
- 4y
Wow I’m glad to hear that reel wasn’t just super triggering for me! I think questioning means questioning and it doesn’t have to mean anything but that. That stupid reel sent me “reeling” though, pun intended. Ughhhh
- Date posted
- 4y
@hi,itme lmao great pun!! but yeah it sent me SPIRALLING too it was super triggering and i kept crying and had a terrible headache though i had been doing good for about 2 weeks before that happened. and yeah me too as soon as i saw your post i was like omggg nooo not someone else seeing that because it was super triggering and super harmful i knew i had to reply to yours because it happened to me too
- Date posted
- 4y
@Nour04 Ugh I’m sorry we both were so triggered by that. What helped u get through it if I may ask?
- Date posted
- 4y
@hi,itme i talked to a friend which helped me wind down, i came on here but got really harsh comments which made stuff worse, i was just super numb but my mom made me go out with her but i don't know if that really helped or made stuff worse.
- Date posted
- 4y
The q in lgbtq means queer but I’ve seen in some places where it stands for both queer and questioning. So I mean, it seems unlikely but maybe that was their point?
- Date posted
- 4y
I went through that for many years when I was married I would question myself you know I come from our history family of OCD so I didn’t know why I would question myself all the time until now that I am turning 40 and finally finding the correct doctors and analyzing I’m divorced now and I’m better off like that because I need to fix myself emotionally mentally because of childhood trauma and sexual abuse also contributes to sometimes I’m questioning OCD of your sexual preference but you will be off all right don’t question yourself as much just let the day go try not to so much question yourself Just breathe in and breathe out and except what you feel and just let it go try to here affirmations of LGBT try to hear things that are positive it’s very hard when you get caught up in that cycle of repetitive thoughts but we are all here to help each other and I’m very appreciate of of this app you can always message me whenever you want to speak I’m very very familiar with this OCD pattern
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks for your comment. What do u mean by “here affirmations of LGBT”? Is that implying that I/you are part of that group? Or did you mean something else?
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- 4y
You’re seeking reassurance. But sure I’m sure lots of people question forever
- Date posted
- 4y
But 25 isn’t forever just FYI
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- 4y
I’m so sorry
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- 4y
how do i know it's ocd and not denial this has been driving me crazy
- Date posted
- 4y
Ok first thing first what are u attracted to?
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- 4y
are you replying to me? if so i have always been attracted to guys but idk anymore
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- 4y
@Nour04 Yes
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- 4y
@gwen81 I’m no therapist but if it’s a deeper issue u should seek therapy
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- 4y
That’s it if ur attracted to guys that’s what like. I know it’s hard with ocd. It’s ok to be gay it’s doesn’t matter what people it’s what makes u happy love
- Date posted
- 4y
it doesn't really work like that
- Date posted
- 4y
@Nour04 🙏
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I watched the trailer for the movie “Am I Ok?” and got completely triggered. Basically a 32 yo woman discovers she’s a lesbian seemingly out of nowhere. I was triggers and did some research (bad idea) and apparently some people who are gay have never had romantic or sexual interest in people of the same sex until one spontaneous moment of discovery. Now I’m worried that this could be me!! I’ve never had a long term relationship, have had crushes and fantasies but back out when things get too close for me. I do prefer my little fantasy world guy but now I’m wondering if maybe I missed something and am in denial, even if I didn’t know it.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w
I keep seeing tiktoks of things that are like ‘things I did as a lesbian in denial’ or ‘things my not so straight straight friend said’ and I feel like I might relate to some!! But idk!! It’s kinda triggering me. I’ve had this 5 years on and off now so when it comes back the whole well you’ve had it so long you must be gay comes up. I have been with my boyfriend almost 6 years and i love him so much I don’t want to be gay (nothing weong with it - I’m just not and don’t want to be!)
- Date posted
- 8w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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