- Date posted
- 4y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes it can be very stressful. I do my best to let these thoughts float by.
- Date posted
- 4y
I totally understand this and struggle myself. I have a wonderful husband who loves me so much, he’s never done anything wrong at all and yet my brain is constantly checking for danger, “ what if he’s cheated in some way” “ what if he ever does cheat”. I also know that reassurance doesn’t help and yet I constantly need it. Would love to hear from someone who’s managed to over come this type of ocd theme.
- Date posted
- 4y
Omg this is exactly me! What can we do to protect ourselves and stop feeling this way? It is a constant torture to live with these thoughts. Our everyday life seems so difficult. From the moment i wake up these thoughts come back and feel so horrible. Will we ever be alright and overcome this horrible ocd???
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes it’s there every single day. Some times worse than others. I’ll work my way through one thought and it’ll then be replaced with another. I don’t understand what my core fear is. He’s never done ANYTHING wrong! It’s totally irrational for me to have these thoughts. Do you seek reassurance from your partner? I try to do it less and less but I still have the thoughts and sometimes I just have to give in.
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes that’s exactly it, asking for details, analysing etc. At the beginning of this journey he answered my questions and reassured me all the time. Then we both started to see that no amount of reassurance was enough, it didn’t work. The more I’ve learned about ocd I’ve shared it all with him so he does understand but there are times where it causes arguments because ocd can be very selfish and relentless and especially when it’s not getting the reassurance it craves. I try not to give in to that urge and he’s good at pointing out what’s happening when I do. The thing is the thoughts come anyway even if I don’t ask for reassurance. It’s so tiring I’d swap it for any other theme.
- Date posted
- 4y
Sometimes i feel so guilty and embarrassed that i ask him to answer questions and push him to tell me things. I think it's very difficult for him no matter how hard he tries to understand. I have analyzed him what ocd makes me think and do. Sometimes he understands fully but other times he feels tired and gets furious listening to my insane thoughts and assumptions. There should be an informative guide for partners of people with ocd because they also need support and information in order to stay healthy and help their loved ones.
- Date posted
- 4y
I suffer from the same problem and it is totally devastating. I have awful thoughts and doubts all the time and I feel so bad and depressed. It's like my mind wants or needs to have these thoughts in order to feel ok. It seems like I have a trouble making mind that wants to feel anxious and worried all day long. You are not alone in this
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes i seek reassurance many times. I ask him over and over questions about details trying to analyse facts. It's like my mind wants me to believe he is doing bad things against me even though i don't have a clue. How does your partner react to your issue with ocd? I think it's really difficult for them to understand how big our problem is.
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes that’s right, there should be. Have you had any therapy at all?
- Date posted
- 4y
I started sessions with a psychiatrist but her help and advice felt general and not gone too deep to find my roots that cause ocd. I think that a psychiatrist should ask detailed questions and help each client in a personal way. Did you get any therapy?
- Date posted
- 4y
I had a course of CBT which helped me understand what’s going on with the ocd etc but I think the gold standard treatment is ERP which here in the UK doesn’t seem to be used as much.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.
- Date posted
- 21w
My bf swears he doesn’t notice other women, and that even before dating me, he was never the kind of person to look at women. I, however, have difficulty trusting him. OCD makes this a thousand times worse. Now I don’t ever notice him staring at other women or anything, but I see him look around sometimes especially when someone passes by or someone new shows up while we’re in a restaurant or something. He insists this is him noticing movement and also checking surroundings for safety reasons, but how can I be sure he’s not secretly catching a glance bc his “controlling” gf won’t let him. He insists, swears on his life, that he has no eyes for other women, but if I’m being honest guys, I don’t trust him. No matter how often he proves himself, I don’t trust him. I am often checking his eyes in public. It was worse back then, we have worked through this and I’m doing better now, but I always regress to old habits and old fears. I feel this will be the rest of my life, where I will never be able to fully trust a man. That OCD will always hold me back.
- Date posted
- 13w
Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.
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