i have some "gay" and "manly" mannerisms especially that my hands look so manly and it makes me feel like i am a lesbian and i would look in the mirror and have this thought of "omg you're so gay just accept it already" ans it sounds like i am in denial and i don't even panic a lot anymore :(

like i adopted most of that mannerism from tiktok and like my hands don't look feminine a lot and so it makes me look like a lesbian and makes me sad, not even anxious anymore but just overall sad

@Nour04 You don’t adopt mannerisms from social media. They are who you are. You adopt them from your friends you spend the most time with and your family. Don’t worry your hands can’t look a sexuality it’s just your ocd. I cried every time I looked in the mirror for about 10 months bc I kept telling myself I looked like a lesbian like my body, not clothes. It’s very common for us with SO-OCD to have these thoughts

@Nour04 btw i have a question: sometimes when i see a girl on instagram my heart immediately starts racing. is this a crush?? how do i know it's anxiety and not a crush??? because when i see for instance an edit of my celebrity crush well my jeart beats faster, so how do i know it's anxiety and not a crush? and what if i am not letting myself live freely as a lesbian and am in denial and repressing my homosexuality??? i know it sounds bad when i say it but i don't want to be a lesbian

@Nour04 It doesn’t sound bad to say that. We have SO OCD for a reason. And I can’t answer any of those questions for you bc I’m not you and if I tried to I’d be giving you reassurance which I won’t do

@Justmesadly i haven't spent time with my friends in so long but i do feel like i got them from tiktok, and same with the mirror thing, i tell myself i am a lesbian because of my body AND my clothes too and by mannerism i meant like hand gestures and stuff

@Nour04 Yes I understand. You cannot get mannerisms from social media.

@Justmesadly so am i just born this way? am i a lesbian???

@Nour04 You’re not born with mannerisms, as I said you learn them from your parents or whoever you spend the most amount of time around. I don’t know your sexuality nor can I even guess your sexuality. Only you know what you desire. And you can’t clearly know while you’re analyzing and ruminating

@Nour04 Your appearance and mannerisms do not determine your sexual orientation. Our society and the media have forced a lot of roles, stereotypes, expectations, and standards upon us that make us feel wrong and doubt ourselves when we don’t fit those exactly. I’m sorry you are having such thoughts and feelings, though there would be nothing wrong with you if you were a lesbian or anything else. Your sexual orientation is determined by your head and heart. It is not unheard of for people to question and doubt that as well, especially people with OCD.

@void-dragon I wouldn’t say especially people with ocd bc this is an OCD subtype and i have been told it is not considered questioning your sexuality it’s just ocd

@Justmesadly Yeah that’s what I meant, sorry for being unclear about that.

@Justmesadly Although I believe there are times where anyone (with or without OCD) may question their sexuality, but I am not an expert!

@void-dragon Yes of course but that’s not the case for us. Our theme is specifically SO OCD