anyone else feel like whenever they're starting to heal/get better and the anxiety starts subsiding, all of what they were going through was fake and a lie, whick makes it seem like denial? because like at least back when i had extreme anxiety and always felt nauseous, i knew for sure i didn't want that but now i am so confused and it all seems so real and that my hocd was a big lie and a cover up for my denial

Darthflower

Date posted: 4y

Hi Nour, Part of what makes this ocd is that these thoughts and worries are causing you a high level of distress. OCD is very clever at coming with new ideas that may prove that thoughts say somsthing about you, that's the ilness and it is very common. I would say that Denial is a different feeling, it stems more from ignorance. For example, someone who periodically misses morning work meetings, after drinking excessively the night before, but insists there's no problem because the work is still getting done. So denial is more like being fine not knowing something. But your ocd makes you constanly worry and be in distress, because of something that your sub concious is afraid of.

Nour04

Date posted: 4y

ow okay so you mean that because i keep on bringing it on it must mean it's not denial? and thank you so much for your reply

ewaedb

Date posted: 4y

What do you mean that with denial it's more like being fine not knowing? Isn't it that when you're fully recovered you are also ok with the uncertainty?

Darthflower

Date posted: 4y

@ewaedb I mean that denial is you being fine and not even thinking that there is a problem in the way you think. A form of ignorance. If your symptoms down and your able to do daily tasks with no problem than this is for sure a succes, thoughts may still come and that will be part of your recovery too. I'm trying not to reassure you to much now. Be kind to yourself and take care.

ewaedb

Date posted: 4y

@Darthflower Ah ok yeah I didn't want reassurance, just wanted to understand what you mean. But that explanation really helped thanks so much!

Darthflower

Date posted: 4y

Yes exactly! You're very welcome

Nour04

Date posted: 4y

so it would be like ssaying "yeah it's fine it's just a bromance or a one night thing" right? okay but sometimes when i am analysing thoughts and then i don't want to give tthm a meaning i ridicule them saying stuff like "it's fine i was just a kid" . wouldn't that be denial too??

ewaedb

Date posted: 4y

For me it's like when I recover I still obviously have the thoughts. And then I start thinking that if it weren't true and I was actually recovering the thoughts shouldn't be there anymore.

Nour04

Date posted: 4y

oh yeah i understand, i still don't get that though

ewaedb

Date posted: 4y

@Nour04 What do you mean? What isn't there anymore?

Nour04

Date posted: 4y

@ewaedb no i meant i don't understand what's happening and it's all so tiring, but i guess it's just ocd trying to lure us back in. i have been doing overall better for about 2 weeks, haven't ruminated much because i just keep telling myself it's not the time to do so as i have finals, so kind of postponing all the rumination.

ewaedb

Date posted: 4y

Yeah I'm also so exhausted. I don't even feel that many emotions anymore I just feel numb

Nour04

Date posted: 4y

and it's so hard because then comes the doubt of all of it being ocd in the first place. i hope you're okay though if you need anything i'm here

ewaedb

Date posted: 4y

@Nour04 Yeah I have these thoughts too. And that goes for you too I'm also always here!

Nour04

Date posted: 4y

@ewaedb thank you <3

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