I sure hate how when I’m in a deep hole, every attractive woman that comes up on my screen I don’t feel anything, but every man that comes up, my mind is telling me that’s what I want (I’m a straight man, and you would never know this was the case based off of who gets me physically aroused) But, throw in the groinals and the concern that you’ll become actually aroused by the orientation you’re not attracted to, and it’s crippling and your confidence feels so low.

I went to a wedding yesterday and my thoughts were doing this constantly. Anytime I talked to a man that was there, my mind was thinking, “why am I talking to this man for so long and so often” or when I was surrounded by women, my mind was thinking “I’m around so many women because I don’t want to be near a group of men because my true feelings will come out” and it’s so annoying.

black widow has become a huge trigger. i find her pretty and now whenever i see her, actually any girl, my heart starts beating super fast and i worry it's a crush(i'm a straight girl)

@Nour04 For me tony stark and captain America and falcon are huge trigger

@Hocd_sufferer i understand how horrible it is, especially that i worry i am attracted to her/think it's a crush on her. it makes me miserable

@Nour04 The thing is too is that we can think anyone of any orientation is physically attractive, but not be sexually attracted to them or want to be with them. If only our minds could make that distinction, life would be a lot easier.

@Recoverer you are so right, my head hurts and i feel so numb. been feeling nauseous a lot lately what about you how are you??

@Nour04 Main thing is that I didn't get anxiety just intrusive thoughts

@Hocd_sufferer lack of anxiety is horrible because at least when there's anxiety you partly know you don't want it. i an going through this right now. stay strong, if you need anything i'm here for you <3

@Nour04 Yeah, as I mentioned above I felt that way yesterday, I was at a wedding and I used to look forward to getting married and having a family not even a year ago. But now, I can’t even imagine myself getting married, let alone a relationship, because my mind is so uncertain and I have so many intrusive thoughts that I can’t invest my time into anyone else or want to put someone else through stress because my mind is so broken.

@Recoverer i know how horrible it is, i am so sorry you have to go through this. just know you're not a burden, and you have my full support

@Nour04 Thank you, I appreciate hearing those words. I hope we can all come out on top of this and stay on top of it.

@Recoverer you're very strong, look how far you've come!! you've managed not to give up given everything that's been happening, you're still waking up every day and i am proud of you for doing so. we will hopefully some day crush ocd, so survive for the good days that are about to come

@Nour04 Ironically I’ve already gone through the ERP and was doing pretty well up until last week. Had a friend call me out and it caused a lot of triggering emotions and depression after the fact and haven’t been the same since.

@Recoverer this is a dumb question but have you been using what you learnt during ERP? and yeah i agree it's way more triggering when you had been doing better

@Nour04 If it gets crippling for me, yeah I’ll restart my ERP methods. What happens is, my SOCD only comes back when I’ve had other triggering situations non-related to my intrusive thoughts happen. So like, when I feel as if I don’t have any friends, my SOCD comes back. Same thing if I get depressed about my job, relationships, or if someone attacks my character as a person, my SOCD will find a way back into my head and stress me out.

@Recoverer i totally understand, it attacks you at your lowest. just try using the skills your learnt in therapy