Does anyone have ocd where it feels like the thoughts are telling you to act on intrusive thoughts because you could of acted on them in the past and should of been stronger etc? Really struggling with this! They are starting to convince me I’m stuck and feel so hopeless.

Could you develop it I struggle really figure the way your intrusive thoughts seem to overlap.

Definitely. Do you mind if I answer tomorrow (yes it's 12pm her in France 😅) but I'll ask u a simple question later cuz it reminds me of some thoughts overlapping endlessly sounds interesting. See u later! 👍

OK so it's interesting because I think I've experienced the same stuff but far less with the past, and far more with the future like, I did some things in the past and my future will be hell bc of it. Like saying out loud awful things like "I hope this person or myself will suffer this way etc" all of that bc I was afraid to be heard without my knowledge. And I thought at first that it was completely dumb to ever imagine I could be recorded or listened without knowing it I so kept on saying awful things over and over again, always to persuade myself it was bullshit to be scared this way. But I overlapped, things incremented together and I ended up thinking "Oh damn maybe I've been listened" 🤔 😭😅 honestly I've been suffering a lot from this shit it's like it never will end up one the most complicated ocd I ever struggle with. And it isolates me from friends or family bc I feel guilty af for what I said, again not to curse them but at first to fuck OCD like "I'm not afraid of u fucking OCD shit" but now I'm wasted.

I totally relate to your point. It's like whatever we do we end up getting stuck you do your compulsions you're owned, you don't do your compulsions your wrecked, to me it's like I'm two people in one person. But I think it's commo' from people experiencing ocds.

It makes me think 🤔 What's your main ocd? Is it pedophilic obsessions? If it is, I could help you with my own experience, it's something I beat up so well many years ago for real! I did good battles against it, but it's really tough tho, but I literally killed it so if you need some pieces of advice I'm here 🙋‍♂️👌

It Seem so interesting! Even though I'm lost in " My thoughts tell me I should hurt / attack people so that I get" caught" by police etc... ". What do you mean about that? The" should" is like you're in a masochist thought it's like you feel the urge " to make things" awful and I use the air quote bc I understand you don't to hurt anyone and I don't want to trigger you about anything I just want to understand the detail (it is not judgmental AT All trust me you are talking to someone who experienced a lot of maxed out shit so you can express your feelings just I like to understand it precisely 😊👍👌

It's like you fucking freak out about hurting someone don't you?

It's like you brain feels the urge to ask yourself to hurt someone because like "you should do it", it's your compulsions! Is it?

"you can't do right from wrong" I'd rather say "you can't do right whatever the decision you take when it comes to OCD". You beat urself up like phisically?

Thank you so much for saying that, it’s really helped me feel less confused

Ur welcome dude, we're in the same shit it's always nice to share so thanks to you too 👍. Are your thoughts inner words or do you talk to yourself out loud? I don't recall talking about that to you. I talk to myself like a lot not that common but an American university did a study about this and it was rather good actually (for people talking to themselves - it's like we're not that crazy after all lol!).

A bit of both but mainly inner. Feel like I’m always in my head talking to myself though lol

It’s mainly harm, sort of like real event harm. The basis of my thoughts is that I have a thought that I possibly could have purposely physically hurt someone and the uncertainty of not knowing 100% keeps the cycle going. My thoughts tell me I should hurt / attack people so that I get ‘caught’ by police etc., and in the moment, because it makes me feel guilty and as though it is my responsibility to do these things (as crazy as it sounds!!). I talk back to it with rationality to put some perspective in but the emotional blackmail ocd gives me seems to outweigh any rationality at the time. I don’t think I’ve ever acted on my thoughts but can’t be sure and that’s what keeps the cycle going. Then later on, rationality kicks in and I’m disgusted and shocked at myself for even arguing with the thoughts of considering them.

It’s so complicated but I think the deep routed issue here that ocd has some sort of control over me and that’s my fault.

You don't wanna hurt anyone*

Yeah, I don’t want to hurt anyone, my mind tells me I should do as it tells me I’m a bad person etc etc. and that I deserve to hurt someone (so crazy I know) so that I love my life forever regretting and unable to move on.