Help! A kid I used to be friends with liked my selfie and it’s very awkward because I think he used to be a customer of mine on onlyfans. I wanna block him but we used to be friends and I can’t get him out my head and I love my boyfriend. Help me

I did block him but why is this person on my mind? is my question. This even got in the way of having sex with my boyfriend tonight. I was turned off and anxious and had to ask my boyfriend to stop because I simply felt nothing during intercourse

@Ang1998 I can understand the anxiety. I have a friend of mine that I used to be sexual with (over the phone) up until around the time I started dating my current bf and we don't even talk that often but he's always made me overthink everything and idk why... tbh what I do is I list off all the things that kept me from catching feelings and going further with him, like all of the personal turn offs that I have, and it helps. I know your situation is different, but maybe if you talk about the cons and think about your own feelings first (which you deserve to do), then I think it might help <3 your comfort should always come first, and if someone can't be in your life anymore, that's just how it needs to be. you shouldn't beat yourself over those things <3 just try to dig deep into what may have gotten you into this situation, and be honest with yourself, even if it's scary. that's the least you can do for yourself <3

@amberellal Yeah like I’ll think of three guys from the past at once as if they are all my past lovers and that I somehow made a mistake and then there’s my boyfriend who’s amazing and loves me even with these thoughts

@amberellal Like if I see a ex in public I’m stuck thinking about him. If someone likes my photo that I don’t talk to anymore I’ll think of him. If I find someone in public attractive I’ll think about him and wonder what it would be like. I’ll think of over probably 30 men a year yet I have a loving boyfriend. I know I love my boyfriend too. These thoughts bother me really bad. This isn’t something I like thinking about. I don’t wanna think about the guys I friendzoned or exes or attractive strangers in public. It’s getting in the way of having a real intimate connection with my boyfriend. I LEGIT GOT TURNED OFF DURING SEX AND FELT NOTHING FOR THREE MINUTES INTO INTERCOURSE MY BOYFRIEND HAD NO IDEA I WASNT HORNY UNTIL I LEGIT STOPPWD FAKING AND WAS LIKE “yeah I’m not feeling it tonight”…..I felt so bad even tho he said it was okay and that he didn’t mind at all

@amberellal I told my boyfriend “I’m sorry I faked the sex thing. I was really happy with the oral sex you gave me I guess I just wasn’t in the mood for penetration. I felt nothing during penetration it was odd” and he accepted it and told me “you’re prolly stressed it’s okay I love you” and I felt so good inside.

@Ang1998 I'm so glad your bf is understanding about that stuff :( but I feel you with the "I'll think of probably 30 men a year yet I have a loving bf." I still think about dude's that I likes from the past a LOT, especially my ex and idk why. I hate my ex, he was a piece of yk what, but for whatever reason, I just think about him a lot. I have no feelings for him, but everytime I go out I'm like "damn so I look okay, what if he happens to drive past me or see me in a store?" and he broke up with me over a year ago so idk why I still think about that stuff. I think our minds just like to get hung up on potential drama and excitement. like we think of a person from our past and our curiosity always gets the best of us, whether we want to think about those things or not. like with this dude you keep thinking about for example and how you said he was an old onlyfans subscriber. I think that might raise a lil tension in our heads like "yeah I have a bf but THIS dude subbed tk my onlyfans and ontop of that, I actually know him". like it all piles up into one overthinky mess, even when you don't mean it to. like for me, I'm constantly caught up in in what ifs, like what if me and this guy did this thing or what if we got this sexual and that kind of stuff instead of just putting all of my focus onto my current bf who I don't have many what ifs with. I really wish I could give good, solid tips for this kind of stuff, but it goes back to what I was saying before. just remember why things ended with exes or things didn't escalate with old crushes and those kinds of things and then think about the pros of being with your amazing bf (because any s/o that's understanding with this kind of stuff is definitely amazing lol).

@amberellal Thank god my boyfriend is able to understand all this. You’re so right he is amazing. Idk how he understands or deals with me. If I were hun I’d feel so insecure hearing the shit that comes out of my mouth about this stuff. I’d be like “wait do you really love me? Stop thinking about him then”💀 but he’s not like that he legit understands

@Ang1998 I'm so glad he's like that with you :( that's how my bf is with my rocd and anxiety and I'm thankful for him everyday. I really wish I had some good, solid tips for you but I think all I can say is that you're not alone in what you're going through 😓 but ik you can make it out of this ❤👍🏻

@amberellal Usually my thoughts about different guys last about a few days and then I forget about them. It’s like I new closure when I’m all reality I know I was never into these people I guess I just feel odd like “wait why is random guy that used to be my friend so long ago liking my photo thus causing me anxiety? Did we have a thing?” And then I gotta rethink.