pai 😽

Date posted: 4y

yesterday i publicly with my public instagram account (my pfp has my face) talked about like pocd and my pocd for the first time publicly. there’s a lot of stigma surrounding pocd so i don’t even ever want people to know about it since i’m scared they’ll think i’m a pedo or something since everyone think people with pocd are future pedos (they are NOTT) but anyways i kinda feel like taking it down cuz what if like someone from my distant family (my close family know already and understand pocd) sees it and just thinks i’m some pedo? like what if they don’t understand? what if they like say “never go near my kids grossy!!” should i delete it or not i want to end stigma but i’m anxious about this.

Overcomer

Date posted: 4y

You are very brave and this is tough I understand your mission and ikno it will touch others who may be in your position. What was the response from this

pai 😽

Date posted: 4y

thank you for the kind words!! i haven’t gotten much traction yet

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Leave it up!!!! Nothing to be ashamed or afraid of, even if no traction it’s a good habit to talk about it, and on the contrary you should be proud, the mental health community needs more people like you willing to share openly!🙌🏼‼️🙌🏼good job!

pai 😽

Date posted: 4y

thank you so much 😭 you guys are all too kind 💗

anonocd

Date posted: 4y

I think if you present it in the right way that could be positive. Maybe linking to more material that explains it. It’s unlikely that people will understand pocd or even have a good understanding of ocd. So you might help someone but like you said some people might misunderstand; so that’s up to you if you want to take that risk.

pai 😽

Date posted: 4y

yes this is totally true. it’s not easy to understand if you’ve never gone though it/had someone close to u who did. i’m glad my close family understands quite well though.

Lindsey3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

so the right thing I think to say is, ending stigma is also seeking validation...we should essentially live out lives for ourselves and stay in the communities we are understood. I'm thinking what can trigger Pedophilic OCD Is right after having a scenario where someone broke a minors boundaries, then you become hypersensitive hoping you never do something similar or ever want anyone to misinterpret your intentions. it's more like the phobia of becoming a Pedophile or being seen as one in people's eyes

Being Human

Date posted: 4y

Wow, you're brave! I have so much fear around this type of ocd. I have multiple subtypes but this is the one that bothers me the most. I find my thoughts abhorrent at times. I wonder if they come from past sexual abuse. It's hard for me to even talk about it with anyone ... even my therapist. So glad to have found this community!!

Lindsey3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

OCD is a defense mechanism. it's the hypersensitivity usually. a overprotective barrier. sexual abuse has everything to do with it in this aspect. my kids were sexually abused by a family member and I've become hyper aware and afraid that they may misinterpret me as one and the severe fear of being misunderstood because of the phobia and hate for pedophiles that I would never want to harm someone even remotely in that way.

pai 😽

Date posted: 4y

i wonder if it comes from past sexual abuse too. like maybe some childhood trauma? not sure but i don’t really want to find out i feel like finding that out would make my life so much worse.

Being Human

Date posted: 4y

@Lindsey3 Well said. It is like the last thing on earth I'd want to do to someone. Think it's largely related to harm ocd as well, which I have.

Being Human

Date posted: 4y

@pai 😽 I think it does in my case. My ocd started at a very young age.

Lindsey3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

@pai 😽 yes it has everything to do with the abuse

Lindsey3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

@Being Human exactly none of us want to harm anyone we are just too aware and over analyze to make sure we don't mess up

Being Human

Date posted: 4y

@Lindsey3 Yep.

pai 😽

Date posted: 4y

on sorry it was on tiktok not instagram

Lulu~

Date posted: 22w

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME TT (lowkey begging)

I told a few people on social media about my OCD, including POCD and how distressing it is. But everyone went quiet, then a few hours later I posted that I don’t support pedophilia at all neither do I justify it or am a pedo. Then someone replied with: “I think someone might take it bc u have such an obsessive fear of it u might have actual p3 do philic tendencies” I can’t do this anymore, I’m terrified to spiral again like a few months ago but I’m on the brink of doing it again. I’m shaking and stressing tf out I hate this so so so so so much

POCD

Givenup

Date posted: 19w

Pocd and anxiety

I hope someone can respond... Im genuinely so triggered and so anxious... Dr disrespect was accused of inappropriately messaging and sending explicit images to a minor, and trying to meet up with them at twitchcon... my POCD is saying that my situation with me venting about 18+ explicit HOCD stuff to people in the PM's on an OCD groupchat I found from NOCD, including the minors, when I was 19, means that I am just as bad as they are... or worse... I pm'ed them from the support group and vented to them in private (including the minors) about my 18+ explicit HOCD struggles... one was uncomfortable by it so i stopped venting to her after she told me she was uncomfortable by it twice... the other gave me reassurance so i kept asking her for reassurance for my 18+ hocd struggles... I dont ever want to ever be attracted to minors in any way... I dont ever want to ever engage in any inappropriate relations with minors in any way... i dont ever want to EVER be a MAP, a P, or a gro*mer in any way... I dont ever want to be what my pocd says about me... im so scared... someone said that I need help, that I need to turn myself in, and that im hiding behind a diagnosis because of this situation... i genuinely feel so hopeless... I dont ever want to ever be a monster...

Givenup

Date posted: 16w

Pocd and my situation

Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...

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