I have struggled with addictive behaviors a well as anxiety depression and intrusive thoughts (possibly OCD) for decades. I've started getting a handle on my addiction b thanks to God and the 12 Steps. I assumed that my depression anxiety and intrusive thoughts would get better after I got sober. Instead I feel like things have gotten worse mentally... Especially with regard to intrusive thoughts. Can anyone relate to this?

Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.

Please help anyone else here with Religious ocd and is a Christian? My brain is going hay-wire and want to know I'm not alone... what do your thoughts say and how do you overcome compulsions? Im going through a rough moment and feel sick with anxiety and stiff. I want to obey God but my thoughts won't stop. I surrender to the Lord and then I have peace with the compulsions and they go away but the thoughts are the scary part please - is this spiritual or is it mental? Or is it both? Would love to hear a Christians opinion on this... because my thoughts latch on and won't dissappear but I know that the Bible commands us to take control of our thoughts and to renew our minds...yet God has grace for this and mercy for our every need... I know God is in control (completely) and my mind creates a lot of the issues for me without any spiritual stuff (it's a very powerful thing) but it's still scary. Lord help me, I surrender myself to you Jesus, counsel my soul and help me.

i think i might be struggling with depression. can depression make ocd worse? because lately, my intrusive thoughts have become so intense that even trying to sit with them doesn’t help. i hate that i can’t even go one full day without giving in to a compulsion. the horrible, blasphemous thoughts are so overwhelming that i sometimes feel like giving up and just believing them—not because i actually want to, but because I’m so mentally and emotionally exhausted. what scares me most is that my feelings feel so twisted now… like i’m starting to like or want these cruel thoughts. it’s terrifying because i feel like i’m becoming the kind of person I never wanted to be—a cruel person, even an enemy of God. and i don’t want that at all. i'm just scared i’m changing into someone i’m not.