OCD is ruining my life. I thought I had my recovery down & have done so well for almost 7 months. Then this week I had an intrusive thought I couldn’t get rid of - my brain convincing me that I’m in love with somebody else when I am absolutely not. I adore my boyfriend and I’m currently away traveling with him. He struggles to understand my thoughts and struggles with his reaction to it and overthinks my thoughts that I didn’t even want to have. :( please if anyone has any advice, I’m desperate as I can’t lose the love of my life over OCD.

Ok so this all could be for reassurance but I’m rlly upset en and need help. So to preface, I had ocd when I was younger her and when I started dating my current bf it suddenly returned but ig I didn’t realize it was rocd bc I never knew it could present itself in this way. All I knew was “go away I just wanna love my bf and stop liking other guys” when my brain would get me so confused. A couple weeks ago I started on Luvox and I thought it was rlly working bc I also started seeing an ocd specialist and she gave great tips on exposures and the Medication in conjunction w that jus felt like it finally make me myself again. However, yesterday I had some gwneral intrusive thoughts in the morning and right before that, I was on top of the world so happy bc I was myself again. When the thoughts came I was like ew oh whatever. UNTIL my brain was like nagging me and making me feel guilty for having those thoughts. So I dove into em making sure they weren’t true etc. bc that never fixes anything it kept progressively getting worse and I forgot my exposures in those moments bc I just wanted to make sure I loved my man and didn’t do smth against him. Towards the later day, I was swimming w my siblings and my bf and the whole time I had a blast bc he’s the best, but I had nagging thoughts and feelings saying some guy from my new job is similar looking but slightly better looking and he’s the one guy I’ll leave my bf for. And it’s been saying that and variations of it from over 24 hrs now and I feel so awful. I feel guilty and to make things worse. Last night bc I spiraled/ relapsed so hard my thoughts also said I wanna leave my bf bc I no longer love him and I miss those old feelings but I can’t jus forget how awful I am as a gf to him bc my thoughts and ocd feelings. I feel terrible and I jus wanna be fixed😓I don’t wanna like that guy my man is my bsf and so cute and handsome and perfect. Why am I still “confused” if I don’t wanna be etc. my therapist said to go toward my goals and Values and not let ocd stop me from it, but I feel as if I can’t til I make sure I don’t like the other person or wanna but all I want is to be me but I feel like a liar 😞

I’ve had relationship OCD for about five months now and it’s been excruciating, I know it’s relationship OCD but my brain can’t grasp it, I was doing very well for about a week a few days or a week. It’s about the only amount of time where I feel that sense of clarity or almost back to normal definitely not normal but life seems pleasant again. I made a bad mistake. I was with my friend on a sleepover and we decided that we wanted to eat some good food and be stoned because we enjoy eating food and being stoned since it tastes much better, no I believe this just made it worse. I know that weed can be worse for some people. It can make them overthink and I think it’s triggered me to relapse, because my worries and intrusive thoughts are about something so much more worrying in a way and it feels so much more real, I guess I’m hyper focusing on every single thing about my partner’s personality every floor and everything he doesn’t do, and my brain is telling me that means I should break up with him, ”if he dosent do this this means the relationship isn’t right” “ or anything happens my brain will tell me that I’m losing interest or losing feelings and I get many intrusive statements. Like “you like being single more” literally any time I’m enjoying myself alone And I’m getting many that don’t make sense “he doesn’t accept you for who you are so that means that you need to break up” over an interest that we both have…… And it’s so frustrating because any time I talk to him about anything serious or obviously I’m not happy about something because that’s normal in relationships not everyone is gonna do everything right so you have to communicate it but then I could get intense urge to break up and it makes me upset, or when I’m trying to tell him how I feel my brain will just say that I need to break up it’s honestly so confusing and I’m falling back into the compulsions and reassurance seeking all over again and my brain is making me believe it’s not relationship OCD because what if it’s not relationship OCD and it’s actually not the right relationship for me? But I don’t want it to be that I love him so much and I honestly can’t imagine not being with him. It’s so confusing and my head hurts and I just need someone to talk to.

OK, so I never had a boyfriend before because I’ve always avoided relationships because I’ve always had a fear of intimacy/ fear of someone getting too close (i have an avoidant attachment style) and just a hard time getting close to anyone in general. Well i am 22 years old now and i finally got a boyfriend for the first time and he is my heart in human form. Like i love him more than anything and i just want to love and support him as much as possible because i truly believe he deserves the world and more. OKAY SORRY ENOUGH ABT MY UNDYING LOVE FOR MY BOYFRIEND- i came on here to say i have been having these intrusive thoughts and they’re so disgusting. The thoughts are of me cheating and never I my life have i ever thought i?? I would do that so when I had this thought, it sent me into a panic. I was having anxiety for weeks and it was hell because it’s like my reality gets distorted. It just sucks because this is my first ever relationship and the only thing i want to do is just give my love to this man and make him the happiest person on earth. That’s is it i swear but my thoughts are so so so cruel. BTW i forgot to mention that cheating is his biggest fear in a relationship SO I know my ocd took that and RAN. Well anyways I can’t help but feel like I’m the worst human being on this earth but can some of yall send some ERP exercises and ways yall get over your ocd flares ups/ocd attacks please ? help a girl out 😔