I’m so sick and tired of OCD ruining my happiness. Whenever I’m genuinely happy and content, it comes back with full force. I can’t be sure if this is even a real event or a false memory but I constantly feel like a shitty person and that I must confess. Long story short, my ocd has convinced me that when I was young like pre-teen years (I’m 22 now) that I google searched ‘child porn’. I know for a fact I 100% have never watched or liked anything like that and that I am not a pedo but the memory is giving me extreme anxiety and guilt. I have no idea if this is real or not?! How can my brain just make up something that is not real????? I had this OCD thought first occur a couple of weeks ago, I got over it and felt happy again and it came back??! Am I stuck like this forever? Shall I confess to my boyfriend who will definitely not understand? Please someone help me. Do I just sit with the anxiety? Does that work for this type of OCD?!

Hello everyone I need some advice. I’ve struggled with what I think and hope is ocd for a long time. It started when I was 14 I had a concussion and my brain convinced myself for 9 months that I had this concussion. Then I had a gf at 15 before we were official I did a terrible thing im regretful of it for sure. I kissed another girl. I told my now ex girlfriend about it and I started to overthink the situation and think maybe I slept with the girl or maybe we did more than kiss. In reality we didn’t. when I turned 16 I started having thoughts of maybe I cheated on her with other girls at our school. It would be false memories of me sleeping or doing things with 4 or 5 other girls. That eventually went away as I would ask reassurance like a crazy person. Then one day what I believe was either Christmas time or new years around that time I had this thought “what if I SA’d my ex little sister?” This thought tormented me for so long I couldn’t believe it. As she was so young it would be impossible for me to do that without someone noticing plus that’s absolutely horrifying and disgusting and I’ve never ever ever ever been alone with her or desired to. Then what I knew would happen came along with me thinking I SA’d my little sister or my baby brother at the time. It was a horrible experience. Then it went to me thinking I was a pedo without the false memories. Then it went to my other siblings thinking I did something to them in their sleep, I did something to the pets, etc. As I got older I realized what ocd was and what I was going through and it eventually all went away. But as time goes on I’m now almost 24 I have spiraled back into thinking I SA my ex little sister. It’s crazy because I’ve never had that desire or anything at all it would absolutely break me if that was true. With something like this saying maybe not maybe it did is crazy because it’s a serious thing. I’m getting therapy on Monday and am just wanting my life back. I just recently got engaged to my beautiful fiancé and I want to be regular again. Anyone have any advice or even have gone through the same scenarios? It’s just so tough.

How do you know the difference :( I genuinely cannot keep living in this torment. it all started with an ‘intrusive thought’ where I had like a hazy flash of something reading an article. and I remember thinking ‘what if’ and ‘what is this’ and then that intrusive thought turned into me ‘remembering’ something else. which caused me panic. then I started trying to find evidence because it contradicted what I remembered this entire time. this was last year in like september. fast forward to march this year, it came back up- but this time stronger and with more ‘details’ and what nots. and I’ve been ruminating on it since then trying to remember and connect and It’s like I’ve added all of these details. but are they real? or is this just my OCD? I just feel like if it were real I would have never been able to keep it to myself. but also what if it was so traumatic that I blocked it out? because it all makes NO sense for me to do something like that. but it also fits what I was thinking at the time. idk

I have false memory real event ocd, I’ve been married 13 years and I used to constantly bring up past mistakes from when we were dating and it RUINED our marriage, but I got medication and therapy and things got better untill a few weeks ago where everything crumbled. I have a memory that is 13 years ago of me being intimate with my husband (than boyfriend) while being intimate I have a memory of sending a text to a male who obviously liked me but I didi not while my husband was under the covers . And I keep thinking over and over how disgusting and inappropriate it was to do that especially doing it in the middle of being intimate 😞. I have confessed this to my husband last year and he didint believe me saying it’s probably a made up memory and would are not a slut and wouldn’t do that. Now i have guilt all over again for weeks and it’s taking such a toll on me it’s all I think about and try to remember every detail I’ve thought about it so much I don’t even know if it’s 100 percent true. But I can vividly see it when I close my eyes. How do I get over this guilt without confessing? Confessing would absolutely destroy my husband.