Been dealing with an old obsession recently. False memory ocd about cheating on my boyfriend while I was out drinking with my two girlfriends about a year ago… can anyone relate to this? Even though I remember the night and eating food and getting picked up by my boyfriend I’m worried I can’t remember when I went to the bathroom alone and what if someone came in with me .. I obsess over the fact that “I can’t know for sure since I was drunk” and it tortures me when the obsession comes back. I really didn’t think anything of the entire night until I got home because I was telling my boyfriend about how the bartenders were being flirty with me. Then I had this thought about what if I let it go further? I was with all my friends all night except when I went to the bathroom and that’s what the obsession targets. I’ve discussed this many times with my boyfriend.. he didn’t even think much of it and thinks it’s my ocd. Obviously reassurance SUCKS and doesn’t work which I’ve learned. Because every time he says it’s my ocd my brain is like “great he thinks you’re innocent when you’re not” … I’ve recognized all these things as hallmarks for OCD but when it comes back to haunt you it can feel so real again. Since this is not the first time I’ve had to fight through this obsession here’s some things I have learned. I learned that OCD attacks what is closest to our hearts. In this case my boyfriend who is my absolute best friend and soulmate. I’ve realized when you try so HARD to remember something that you don’t remember your mind will fill it in with a false answer just to have an answer. Since the certainty is what the ocd needs. It thinks a false answer is better than no answer at all. Aka the creation of the false memory. Also I’ve learned that of course we don’t remember daily normal things that we do. Like brushing our teeth or going to the bathroom. I remembered the flirty gestures when they happened because they stood out so wouldn’t I remember if I made out or had sex with a stranger or if someone came in the bathroom? I’m not asking this with the intention of getting answers it’s just to show how we have common sense and know ourselves but ocd will still make you question that. It’s not fair and we shouldn’t let it take the trust we have in ourselves. If you have a similar experience PLEASE reply or comment

I suffer with a constant worry of what if I’ve cheated. You name it I’ve thought I’ve done it. I’m quite flirty at nature and also insecure. Sometimes hand in hand I don’t think they balance each other out as the constant need for attention to validate myself can backfire. Although I have the best partner ever and she makes me feel nothing less than beautiful I still crave validation from others. That being said someone I used to work with left over half a year ago and when they worked at my current place of work we were very close. Text everyday, phone calls you name it. However looking back I was extra flirty as I wanted him to fancy me. I wanted the power to turn him down to make myself feel better. Awful I know. Now all I can think about is what if I’ve done something. What if I kissed him. What if I’ve slept with him etc. I’ve kept our whole conversations from the minute I got his personal number. I constantly search key words to see if my intrusive thoughts are real. I can except the uncertainty my therapist tells me about as if I have done the worst and cheated I would loose my partner and our 10 year relationship. I love her so much she is my life but I can’t stop thinking what if I’ve cheated. Does anyone else suffer with the same theme? If so how do you cope?

So I have been struggling with the same theme of ocd for 4 months now. My ocd centers around past events/false memories that ocd skews to make seem bad or it twists my thoughts on what my intentions were. this is related to cheating or being weird while I have been in my amazing relationship. I have never cheated on my partner and never will and I believe it is wrong. But my ocd is telling me other wise. I love my partner so very much and I would never want to hurt him but my brain is getting to me. I was getting better. I was trying “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”, I have been back on meds and in therapy and I stopped confessing random interactions from years/months ago about 1.5 weeks ago and it really helped. But now I woke up this morning and feel the pit in my stomach again. I feel extra critical and like why would you do this? What does this say about you? What was your intention with this? And I’m just stuck mentally reviewing and ruminating on everything you could imagine. I know my personality and I know in the moment maybe I did find them attractive but mainly I was just being nice or funny or even just a good friend, but looking back now I’m like “was it flirting?” “Why did I still snap this person” “why would I even talk to them” and stuff like that. I feel this intense sense of guilt. I have told my partner everything that I keep getting stuck on and he didn’t care, he said he understands or “that’s a little weird but it’s okay” and hasn’t missed a beat. He said eveything I’ve told him is normal and I’ve heard that from my friends too. I just really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so disappointed because I thought I was gonna be done with this, so why am I still so worried and caught up in this.

Hey everyone I know I’ve mentioned this before but, I wanted to share again just in case if anyone new sees this. I deal with cheating ocd really bad, like I always have thoughts about the past and such and get worried about things. I know my morals and values and I know id never ever cheat, but my mind always loves to play the “What if” game. It really sucks. My boyfriend is the sweetest and a god sent to me and he is always there for me but ugh this ocd dealing with cheating and false memory/real events kills me, anyone else relate? I dont know how to put up with it anymore, Just today I remembered I had an old twitter account which is now X, but I remembered I deleted my account a long long time ago but ugh I used to be on twitter so much awhile ago and my ocd acted up and was like “You better go check to make sure you didn’t do anything.” And I remembered I sat with myself and said “I know my morals I would never do that to him.” And then my ocd was like “Are you sure? What if you did?” Etc and my anxiety is now so bad about it now :(