Anyone else’s OCD really bad when they first wake up?

Okay I’m the same way. The anxiety begins and then come the intrusive thoughts and then I’m tested to do a mental compulsion (I have Pure O)

@Love Yeah even if I stayed in bed theres still complusions I could do

@Tanaya Exactly. I’ve been doing a much better job the past week of just being “everything’s fine, you can enjoy what’s around you, there’s no need to do anything” which has helped me a lot. Don’t get me wrong I still want to love others (and I do) but it seems to be more just who I am rather than a compulsive action

@Love I too struggle to express my emotions, it's not that I dont feel love for people it's just I find it hard to show them

@Tanaya I’m sort of the other way around sometimes lol. I get so caught up in my head and am constantly checking my feelings about people and experiences and try to mask my feelings to what they should be (all of this is because of the intrusive thoughts that make me question everything)

@Love I get that, I do ruminate about social interactions to an unhealthy extent but I'd say from what I've learned from ERP is to lean into that uncertain feeling maybe you dont love your family enough, of course you know you do but OCD will make you believe otherwise, it's not easy by any means tho

@Tanaya Yes I know exactly what you mean. As I type these words I’m going through a slight anxiety attack and trying to use that tactic. 😅

@Love Bless you its not easy! Whilst we have different complusions I know that anxious attack feeling all too well but you are stronger than the OCD wants you to believe... once you've done this a few times your body wont get anxious but right now it has to unlearn the habits. I know for me it's a constant battle but I can honestly say since staring therapy on here I know I can do it, but that doesn't make that anxious feeling feel any better but I know doing complusions is so harmful and such a short term relief, it makes the anxiety worth it if it means I can get my life back.

@Tanaya Yes thank you for those kind words. My girlfriend went back home to brazil for the rest of the summer and while she’s gone I’m thinking about beginning therapy on here. I’ve already been diagnosed with depression and GAD. But I feel there’s another step I’m going to have to take and I believe it’s therapy. I’ve looked into ERP and it makes sense to me I just want to make sure I’m ready to do it. With most of my ocd subtypes being harm, relationship and scrupulous it’d be very tough to embrace those thoughts since it has to do with people who are so dear to me.

@Love I get where you're coming from! I know now it seems like it ERP will be tough especially because it involves those you love, I have those themes too but once I started therapy and I worked my way up my hierarchy it was easier than I thought, even tho I still have the anxious feel you will be surprised at you can accomplish, I'd definitely recommend therapy on here

@Tanaya Oh I’m so glad to have met someone who understands more of what I’ve been through! If you don’t mind me asking what subtypes do you deal with?

@Love When I was younger before I was even diagnosed my theme was around loved ones and if I didnt do certain rituals/compulsions something bad would happen to them, now I still have that subtype mixed in with religious/emotional contamination, sexual orientation OCD, honestly my themes jump around quite a bit depending on how the OCD is feeling, I find once I've tackled one theme another gets more intense and it is harder resisting complusions that are involving loved ones because I feel that responsibility

@Tanaya My goodness I am so sorry. I also have similar themes, I’m primarily: religious, harm, relationship ocd. What is emotional contamination ocd? My themes also jump around depending who I am with and what’s going on around me

@Love It's okay, its deffiantly a balancing act with OCD but the self awareness is so important. Emotional contamination is like you wear clothes and something bad happens whilst your wearing them, it's like they're contaminated but not with germs with emotions instead

@Love I can relate depending on what's going on around me the theme will kind fit to it

@Tanaya Wow. I just learned about another subtype I’ve never had before lol.

@Love Ummmmm I hope this doesn’t sound to weird but I’d love to keep talking with you more about this. Is there a way I could message you on something and not just through the public app? I just read your bio and saw we’re about the same age and really like talking with you about this.

@Love I didnt know it was a legit subtype until I started therapy, but it's more common than I realised. Of course, that's not weird at all, I have Instagram or WhatsApp, I know not everyone has instagram

@Tanaya Yeah! If you want to post ur what’s app I can write it down and add you and then you can delete it real quick so it’s not up there for the world to see! Lol

@Tanaya Okay I got it u can delete it now! Lol

@Love Okay :)

That’s a great idea! I almost immediately am tempted to ruminate (as you can see by my comment right above) and it’s so tough early in the mornings :/