- Username
- holley
- Date posted
- 3y ago
You should rather say "I just don't believe that runs through straight girls minds if they see stuff like that *WITHOUT BEING STRUGGLING WITH OBSSESSIONAL COMPULSIVE DISORDERS*. Because once the OCD part is added up, what you're experiencing is rather common honestly... And making the difference between genuine arousal and groinal is very subjective in a way that it depends on the interpretation we all give to our thoughts and feelings. Don't worry, you're just a good NOCD sister stucked with your own self, and that's pretty much all lol.
thank you friend!
I obsessed about stuff like this for so long without knowing it was my OCD! Now that I know I just let random things like that pass. It’s taken the shame out of it entirely. I still have intense intrusive thoughts that trigger the urge to do a physical motion to get it out of my head, but in terms of this particular sexual obsession pls know you are not alone and I think it’s totally “normal” when it comes to our spectrum of “normal!” 😉 I’m straight with a partner and we have a child, by the way. Thoughts are just thoughts. Don’t give them any meaning just observe and move on!
Well, just take it as that. It’s okay to be aroused by things. Random things give us arousal. Some are things you want and some are things you dont. Instant thoughts don’t mean true reality. If you weren’t truly aroused that’s okay. If you are, we support :) Both sides are just fine. Sit with the maybes.
thanks. it’s just confusing i think lesbian sex is very hot a lot more than regular straight women and am always fantasizing about it.
I do! Yep. I mean women are amazing and all but I tried to date a woman a long time ago and it just didn’t wasn’t there for me. Not the same way I feel abiotic a man. I mean I guess never say never, but I love my partner and our life together!
@Julia Late to the post but having a bad day😭 I have just read your comments and you have helped me to accept the uncertainty! I feel there is so much pressure around labelling - I worry that I have sexual fantasies and that it’s not “normal” but we decided our normal! Thank you 🙂
You wrapped it up quite clearly to me. You said the magic word that is " AFRAID". It's always as it is with OCD. We're afraid about something and make a simple thought of feeling growing as if it was real but it is ALWAYS bound to fear. The day you face off this fear like someone who dares face off a bully at school, It'll be freedom bc it is the fear that makes you get stuck in this mess. Off course easier to say than doing, but even though I'm in shit right now it's only bc I don't face off my own fears and that's the same to me I'll have to kick my own butt and get the job, done! I know how it is after 24 years, and the only times I was free with my OCDs were when I faced them off, otherwise you're constantly torned between an addiction to think your fears with the famous "if I" and a shame of having thought them with all the impression of being excited and stuff and it never ends. 1. You're afraid you're turned up. 2. You freak out and begins to ruminate (if I...?! 🙆) 3. You end up feeling guilty bc you feel like you can't be sure about it 4. You go back in 2 then 3 and so on and so on. Each time you flip out, you face off your bully ocd : If I like girls = I LOVE GIRLS If I stroke myself on girls = stroke yourself thinking about girls and overreact as if it was heaven If I think about girls while making love with my husband? 🙆♂️ = you OVERTHINK about girls while with your husband If I'm attracted to a particular girl 😵 = Oh yeah she's delicious! You'll end up realising that each time you face off your fears this way you fuck your ocd up and your cycle is literally BROKEN. You can do what I describe above taking your time and even asking for advice to professionals (real ones) and don't hesitate to ask to several people to cross the pieces of information to make sure of the pertinence of the propositions. Never relate to one person. Hope this will help. Don't hesitate to follow me if you want to discuss about it after a few days or weeks I'll answer you.
(follow me isn't necessary of course 😅 it's just that posts are erased quickly on this app so if you want to talk about it later like in a few days or weeks maybe once or two and after erasing your sub to my account don't hesitate it's what I meant lol). Last example (seems to be a good fear bc you talked ab this : if I'm not attracted to my husband 🙆😱😭 = what - a - ridiculous man of course I don't love this freak. Good luck nocd sister 💪
so do i ! i think there’s actually research on that. personally i’m bisexual and i used to have intrusive thoughts about wanting to be with girls instead of my bf bc i would check and see if i was aroused with girls. and then i have concluded that yes bc girls are hot like duhh have you seen us lmao. I think personally it’s the stimulation of clit, it’s just what my body prefers and that’s okay
my body does too but i’m not sure about the bisexual label i wouldn’t ever date a girl necessarily.
wait do you consider yourself to be straight i just want to check something it's not related to you though don't worry
yes i do
@holley i can relate to what you've said that's why i asked
@Nour04 about actual fantasies? or what ?
@holley like the post and saying that i want it and it actually turns me on. i guess it just has to do with the stimulation of the clit
@Nour04 yep same here
@holley sorry for being a burden but could you check my last post? i am freaking out, i have calmed down a bit now but i cried so hard sorry for this but could you check it out??
@Nour04 i can’t find it
@holley there's a trigger warning on it so i guess you have a filtered feed. it's fine though i have calmed down a bit now but i don't know anymore
@Nour04 can you tell me what it’s about? i can help :)
@holley this may be a long read and a bit tmi so sorry in advance i was masturbating and my mind went like "imagine scenarios with girls and naked girls to check" and i finished to that and immediately started crying so hard because this is like the utmost proof of me being a lesbian and then my mind started telling me while in the shower "maybe it's not that bad just accept it if you like it so much to the point of finishing to it why are you still denying it" but i don't want to be a lesbian but saying that doesn't mean i am in denial?? i just don't want it to be true but it felt so real and i don't want to like girls but the thought of it doesn't even make me anxious or sick anymore it's like i want it now but i don't. isn't this being a lesbian in denial? i am so confused i literally want to kms. why did i cry so hard? is it because i realised i was a lesbian in denial??? It's like the last part of me that was still fighting just surrendered and accepted it. i don't want to but it feels like my body and mind want it and it all feels so real. is this even hocd at this point?? anw sorry for bothering you and thank you so much. i have calmed down a bit now but i am still traumatised lol
@Nour04 okay so i can’t tell you if you’re in denial or not but with me, i was in “remission” for about 2 and a half months and the thing that helped me pull myself out of it was: 1. realizing there’s no answer to your question “am i lesbian”, no proof , no anything. YOU give yourself a label no amount of PROOF will determine that for you. like for me, i know we are different i actually have fantasies about having sex with the same sex but i see straight girls that fantasize the same way AND bisexual girls too. see, no answer because everyone is different. and 2. stop worrying about a label. don’t label anything especially while you’re in such a vulnerable state. hope this helps and stay strong :)
@holley i don't care about labels as much as i don't want to like girls
Partner is a man, if that’s not clear haha!
About*** not abiotic
Ok I have a question for y’all. After you have a good moment with a guy, like when you think about him and want to be with him and it feels good, does anyone get the intrusive thought “what if I’m romantically attracted to men but sexually attracted to women?” Because that just came up for me and it is not fun and very worrying. Because I have been aroused by lesbian porn (I did this before my HOCD intrusive thoughts started) and now I’m worried because I was aroused by that I can only be sexually attracted to women ?
The thoughts are oh so bad again. I even can get turned on by the thought of being sexual with a girl but I really don’t want it. ( I’m a girl ). At least I don’t think I do. I looked up questioning sexuality and it said THIS MAY TRIGGER YOU— it said that if you fear it, it may be because you want it because “sexual attraction can be scary”. I don’t want to be with a girl but I feel like lately that’s all I can think about. I can’t even get turned on or get off ( sorry TMI maybe ) to the opposite sex but I can so easily with the same sex even though I don’t really want to. This is so scary I’m not sure what to do.
I need someone's thoughts on this I've been starting to question everything and all the things I've done, I've never liked any girls despite being in a girls class for years, but because if hocd I've starting to think about things I've done or thought that are not normal for a straight person, when I was little I used to enjoy watching videos of people making out and I kind of felt aroused when the guy touched some parts of the girl, sometimes i stumbled upon some videos of girls kissing and I remember I felt aroused by that too,then I stopped but growing up I tried to watch porn despite the fact that I'm rarely horny and straight porn just didn't do it for me, then I stumbled in lesbian porn and I actually enjoyed it and would get around by it,but I never questioned my sexuality because I knew that it was quite common for straight girls to watch lesbian porn but the thing is that sometimes I've wanted to do the same things that girls did in those videos,not essentially making sex with them or being touched by them but touch certain parts of some girls(not a lot just the ones I found extremely attractive)and this thought aroused me. Since hocd hit I've been rethinking everything and this thing in particular has stuck with me. Idk really I feel so hopeless because I mean for someone it could not be a big deal being not straight but for me it literally is because my entire identity would be destroyed and I would not be able to play those kind of games cause I would not enjoy them or I won't be able to watch any straight romance movie anymore or I could not fangirl with my friends about some hot singers or actors or even fictional characters and my dream since I was a child of being married with a man and having a beautiful family with children would be destroyed. So right now I would like someone's thoughts on this,like I don't want reassurance I just want to know what someone thinks about this,like do you think I'm not straight in reality?
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