- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
When I had my first boyfriend in 8th grade I was super freaked out by him touching me. I liked him a lot and I really did like when he touched me but I was embarrassed since I didn’t want to be seen as “that” girl and I also felt like I was disobeying my parents somehow even though they knew about him. Plus I wasn’t really a physical person so it just freaked me out
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
You are having anxiety, because he is important to you. It’s effecting your fight or flight response, and causing you to feel like you want to escape the situation. You then have ocd thoughts that are asking if you’re not into it, which makes you worried because you like him, so the ocd gets worse from it. The best thing you can do is keep seeing him, and just tell him you get nervous, and you like him, and you would like to just take it slow. Eventually you will feel more than comfortable and your ocd thoughts even if they both you, will not scare you anymore. But it’s important to learn how to accept that these thoughts can exist and they feel uncomfortable, but they are not real- they are just thoughts. People without ocd have these thoughts, they just don’t get triggered by them. Their body doesn’t react to it.
- Date posted
- 4y
Wow, from this perspective I'm starting to understand what you are saying is right. I'll definately communicate with him and keep seeing him. Thank you so much. I think the key to this is time :) thank you!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@hannahflorence Be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself. Slowly but surely you will find your peace. And remember where there is truth, there is peace. If you are feeling confused and scared, then rest assured this is not your truth.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Sasha Thank you :) ur kind words won't be forgotten
- Date posted
- 4y
Second boyfriend was meh I don’t remember much but when I first started dating my current boyfriend it was like being in 8th grade all over again and I had to get use to being touched by someone. I really loved it and I really liked him and the way he made me feel but it was all new and scary and I didn’t know how to reciprocate so it took time but after a few months I got really comfortable. It takes time when it’s your first girly , these things take time especially with anxiety disorder like ocd
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much, this helped a lot and I will definately keep this in mind! I really appreciate you responding, hope you have a good night/day/morning :)
- Date posted
- 4y
Listen you are allowed to take things so Maybe it'd be good if you initiated the contact (u don't need to verbalize this to him), so u work up the courage to hug him. It'll give u a bit more sense of control and u can turn this experience in to ERP to help you overcome this ocd.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you, this was very helpful :) and I'll definitely try this out, I think it could help me in the long run
- Date posted
- 4y
How old is your boyfriend
- Date posted
- 4y
Same age as me
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.
- Date posted
- 22w
Is anyone here going throughbSOOCD while being in a relationship? If yes, do you feel like “something is missing” even tho everything is great? My OCD keeps on telling me “you’re settling” or “yeah you’re happy with what you have but its nothing compared to what you would be feeling if you were with a girl, but you’re with your bf for society!” Im soo tired!! When I look at him I find him so attractive and handsome but i dont know if im attracted to him or if he’s just attractive!! And while growing up I was never “pulled by guys” but I thought that everyone was this way! I also used to look at girls because I found them Beautiful but I thought that everyone used to look at them this way! I think what truly bothering me is “comphet” and the “lesbian masterdoc”. Like I feel like I can relate to some points! Yes I used to choosw my crushes growing up but it felt like everyone used to do the same thing! As for my current bf, we started out as friend and then it turned into something else but now im scared I just agreed to being his gf because “that’s what I had to do” and im scared that he’s my “beard”. I particularly got triggered yesterday because my friends were talking about their celebrities crush and I couldnt think about anyone without forcing it! Instead I could easily think about kristen stewart or someone with the same vibe. All of this + my feelings must mean something no??? I just want to feel “in love” my bf is perfect!
- Date posted
- 21w
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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