Me and my partner have been going out for a couple of montjs now, and there hasn't really been much physical contact, the odd brush hear and there. On our last date we went out and after a while he held my hand and later on he asked my permission to hug me. I said yes but I immediately felt scared and had an anxiety attack. I don't know whats wrong with me, when my friends and family hold my hand, touch me and hug me I feel fine but when he touches me I get so scared and freeze up. It might be because its my first proper relationship and these are my firsts (I'm 15 by the way). This is then triggering my soocd and telling me because I don't like being touched, I'm gay and the touched my girl best friend give me are more comfortable because I'm secretly gay. I like this guy a lot, and I am sure I'm not gay but my ocd is giving me so much rubbish for it. From what I can tell this isn't normal. I should feel comfy right? I'm sure with more touches and time I'd get more comfy. But I just wanted to let that out cuz it's been brewing inside of me for a while.

I’m so afraid I might be lesbian. I was very anxious at first but it started to calm down. I’m only 15 and I have a boyfriend I love. At least I think I do, I always chose to question everything and over analyze. I found out about hocd and it described everything I was feeling. I’d take test and read articles like “am I lesbian” but I have never fantasied a girl or wanted to be with a girl sexually or romantically. But what if I’m in denial? I do think girls are physically attractive but I never crushed on a girl. I have always crushed on boys. And liked being with them. I’m just so lost. My anxiety about it had calmed down. But the question is still there sometimes. Earlier today, I found a girl pretty and I got scared thinking that meant something. Then I read about women who have married men, but they know they’re lesbian. I’m scared that that’ll Happen to me. I don’t want to be lesbian. No disrespect. But I just want to be happy. I think I’ve suffered from ocd before. Tell me anyone if I’m wrong. But I used to have thoughts of that my boyfriend would murder me in the future because of theses videos that triggered me. It caused me so much pain and felt so real. That I eventually started to think I’d murder my mom and sister for no reason. I felt so helpless. But I got through it. I hope I get through this. Please any advice? Is this hocd?? Does anyone else feel this way?

Anyone struggling with hocd going through this: growing up (18 now) I've never had a boyfriend or even my first kiss. I'm super awkward with that type of stuff for some reason and just don't know why. So any opportunity of having a serious boyfriend I was always uncomfortable and said no. That also had to do with me not liking my body and thinking that a guy would find it super ugly and unlovable. So with that being said I'm afraid I'm a lesbian or bi and like I don't find boys attractive anymore. I'm scared cause I want to be with a guy but I'm afraid I'll never find a guy I want to be with and find out in the long run I'm a lesbian or something. I don't want to be with girls but ocd is kicking me in my ass. Telling me that only girls are attractive, picking apart anything I find attractive on a guy and it makes me sad. Also sorry for the tmi but I'm afraid I won't find a penis attractive and that's that and I'm lesbian. I know I have to accept the unknown but I'm truly terrified cause of my past that it is set that I'm bi or lesbian and just was too stupid to know it.

Hi everyone! I just wanted to see if anyone else felt the way that I did about something related to SO-OCD… I’m finally discovering that I might have this sub genre of OCD and have had it for a very long time. I have always felt awkward around other women especially in more intimate situations (like changing in the same room, laying in bed together or giving compliments about looks). All of this hit me like a ton of bricks when I got into a relationship with my boyfriend 2 years ago and our sex life started to decline after about 9 months of us being together. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and I obsess over finding out why I have grown not attracted to him sexually. Am I a lesbian? Am I just depressed? Am I falling out of love with him? Was I ever in love with him? The list goes on and my obsession with it grows stronger. I’m so scared I will have to break up with him because I do love him and love spending time with him. I’m scared to start ERP therapy because I’m worried I’ll realize that it’s best to just let him go 😭