i think i’m in rock bottom. i have no idea what to do anymore. i’m so done w this Trans ocd. and cheating ocd and rocd and hocd and harm ocd and pocd. it’s EVERYTHING. it’s never ending either. i am done i can’t.

I used to feel the same way, but I got desensitized to most of my intrusive thoughts. It now feels confusing without the discomfort, making me wonder if this means I'm OK with the thoughts... How are you now? I hope things get better for you. I don't know if it helps, but I'm in a similar boat as you.

@Erl09 i felt so scared of being bisexual but now i’m like idc. i feel like sexuality is just a label and like i’m not bi until i do stuff w a girl! but with the trans stuff i’m like imagining in the feelings and then i’m scared i want to and thinking and checking

@Anonymous Oh... Well, it's a relief at least you have overcome hocd. I hope you overcome tocd too. I don't think testing will help cause it's a compulsion. Try to resist mental compulsions, and be more comfortable with not knowing. These are all just possibilities; you could be trans, but you also could not be! They are just possibilities. Unfortunately, possibilites scares us when it's about something we don't want, something we don't want any chance of it being true.

@Erl09 this is hell. tocd is my hardest theme

@Anonymous I wish I could help. Tell me how does it usually happen? Does something trigger you and/or you get intrusive thought suddenly? What do you do next? Do you run after any thought that shows up and try to figure it out? That's a mental compulsion and may not be so helpful, regardless of theme or the content of the thought. It may help you try to train yourself to accept how things are: you will almost always get unwanted thoughts, but what happens next can change. Do you prefer to run after any thought your mind throws at you, or just leave it be and stay where you are and do what you want to do with your life? Maybe you feel obligated to run after those thoughts because you think you might find some truth or wanna know for sure that you're not trans, but this is really about ocd trying to get your attention more than you trying to search for yourself or discover who you are/trans or not. You already saw how it changes themes when it become unimportant. Sorry, I'm not trying to say it's easy, I know it's not. It's very stressful and misery-inducing, but still it's worth it cause you are doing this for yourself, you don't deserve to suffer like this. And you are already doing amazing job, you got rid of hocd

@Erl09 thank you so much. i think your right bc i was able to start shaking off the trans thought and now it was like what if your like demi lavato and are non binary. that’s why ur confused and having all these images and feeling and stuff. and i cannot begin to tell you how anxious i became i mean i was absolutely swallowed by anxiety it’s the worst feeling

this is hell

i’m a woman, always have been and i am straight