Anonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
Erl09Erl09
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm sorry you're suffering like this. I heard an advice somewhere that says it's best to fight OCD itself rather than focusing too much on the themes. It's all like madness! It's latching at any uncertainty, demanding a proof you can't ever give. And once it talks, no matter what it says, even if I knew deep inside that it's bullshit, I find myself unable to do anything but listen, begin questioning something I never thought I'll ever doubt, and then consider what if it's true. To me, it's like being chained with your archenemy and having to hear them say things that ruins and attacks everything you believe in, including yourself. I see in the guidelines that I can't promote, but I'm not promoting and it's not even my channel and I'm just trying to share what helped me. I want to say to try watching OCD youtube channels. For me, Mark Freeman channel was one of the most helpful. It might help you too?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
thank i can and it’s the content on my thoughts that scare me!!
Erl09Erl09
- Date posted
- 4y
I used to feel the same way, but I got desensitized to most of my intrusive thoughts. It now feels confusing without the discomfort, making me wonder if this means I'm OK with the thoughts... How are you now? I hope things get better for you. I don't know if it helps, but I'm in a similar boat as you.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Erl09 i felt so scared of being bisexual but now i’m like idc. i feel like sexuality is just a label and like i’m not bi until i do stuff w a girl! but with the trans stuff i’m like imagining in the feelings and then i’m scared i want to and thinking and checking
Erl09Erl09
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous Oh... Well, it's a relief at least you have overcome hocd. I hope you overcome tocd too. I don't think testing will help cause it's a compulsion. Try to resist mental compulsions, and be more comfortable with not knowing. These are all just possibilities; you could be trans, but you also could not be! They are just possibilities. Unfortunately, possibilites scares us when it's about something we don't want, something we don't want any chance of it being true.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Erl09 this is hell. tocd is my hardest theme
Erl09Erl09
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous I wish I could help. Tell me how does it usually happen? Does something trigger you and/or you get intrusive thought suddenly? What do you do next? Do you run after any thought that shows up and try to figure it out? That's a mental compulsion and may not be so helpful, regardless of theme or the content of the thought. It may help you try to train yourself to accept how things are: you will almost always get unwanted thoughts, but what happens next can change. Do you prefer to run after any thought your mind throws at you, or just leave it be and stay where you are and do what you want to do with your life? Maybe you feel obligated to run after those thoughts because you think you might find some truth or wanna know for sure that you're not trans, but this is really about ocd trying to get your attention more than you trying to search for yourself or discover who you are/trans or not. You already saw how it changes themes when it become unimportant. Sorry, I'm not trying to say it's easy, I know it's not. It's very stressful and misery-inducing, but still it's worth it cause you are doing this for yourself, you don't deserve to suffer like this. And you are already doing amazing job, you got rid of hocd
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Erl09 thank you so much. i think your right bc i was able to start shaking off the trans thought and now it was like what if your like demi lavato and are non binary. that’s why ur confused and having all these images and feeling and stuff. and i cannot begin to tell you how anxious i became i mean i was absolutely swallowed by anxiety it’s the worst feeling
Brian :)Brian :)
- Date posted
- 4y
I have Tocd to that’s my main subtype and what I’ve been going through this year.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
this is hell
Brian :)Brian :)
- Date posted
- 4y
So if u don’t mind me asking what do you identify as ? I am a homosexual male and my pronouns are him/he , but I keep having non stopping thoughts about transgender .
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
i’m a woman, always have been and i am straight
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nikkispacee
- Date posted
- 25w
it can’t possibly be ocd
im so tired it feels like its true, constant transphobic thoughts mixed in with thoughts if im a boy. istg im a completely different person and so different to everyone dealing with gender ocd. im heartbroken
BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 22w
It's all OCD
The repeating thoughts about insecurities, negative self talk, and not being good though are just more of OCD. I feel so done.
HOY
- Date posted
- 17w
i dont know if its gonna get better
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
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