+18 nsfw I have a fetish and I dont want it anymore. Because it makes my ocd so much worse and sometimes I get intrusive thoughts involving situations where it's from an abusive dynamic or involves a kid or an animal or whatever and it scares me so so bad when it happens and I'm scared bc it's my fetish ill be into it regardless and as soon as the thoughts hit its full on freakout mode. I want to get rid of it so I don't have this pain anymore but it's getting worse and unbareable. I'm forcing myself to think the thoughts sometimes to 'test' if I'm into it and then I get more scared. One time after an intrusive thought had subsided I got the actual urge to masturbate to my fetish geniunely. Not involving the thought but just in general. And after I did I felt so guilty because I worried I may have been turned on by the thought. I try to ignore it or let it go or stop it by not interacting with it and then my fetish comes into my dreams and sometimes it's related to the intrusive thoughts too and I'll ruminate in the dream and I wake up feeling dirty and scared. Even when my intrusive thoughts don't happen just having this fetish makes me feel scared. I want it to stop and i feel like a sexual deviant and I dont know how to stop it. I was into it since I was a kid and I never grew out of it or even acknowledged it was a fetish until recent.

I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?

I’m a csa survivor which made me develop hypersexuality while actually being a asexual individual. (Where I did CP and talked to groomers and sexted, ect ect) A few months ago I’ve started to heal, but the fact that I’ve seen so many private parts since I was idk, young? I imagine them everywhere, it’s really frustrating and sometimes I also get intrusive thoughts about other kids or my siblings. It’s deeply distributing but I also kind of think of it from a curious kind of aspect which I despise too. Honestly I have a hard time with any kid in underwear, my intrusive thoughts have been ALOT the last months and they’re really really overwhelming. I also easily go into overanalysing them or even trying to figure out more clearer the thoughts to “test myself”. I think, I hope. Idk it’s scary

I'm 17 years old I struggle with addiction I have a problem when I masterbate I have intrusive thoughts idk if I think them I'm so scared also back then I know when I was younger I looked at obscure things hentai all that my idk what to do even I feel like I'm a monster or im a bad person I need help I feel so distraught I feel like I can't live life to the fullest anymore even from last year I looked at content that was animated but it had a character in it that was underage I felt so ashamed and felt like a monster I had a compulsion to check it only to find out they are not around my age range idk what to do I probably sound like a freak I'm sorry I'm always trying to replay my memory and try to remember my intention and what I was doing how I come across how I was doing a action yk all that