Mias
- Date posted
- 6y ago
j289lj289l
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes I've feared and obsessed about depression for very long. Then as I would obsess about it I'd even start feeling the symptoms of it but it turns out that those are the same symptoms of anxiety. I have suicide OCD and I think that's where my fear of depression stemmed from. I fear anything that might lead me to feeling unhappy and ultimately fear killing my self. I fear other mental illnesses like bipolar as well. I fear the same thoughts that you have "nothing makes sense, nothing makes me happy, like has no purpose, life has no meaning" I know they're not true. And when I'm not thinking these thoughts I'm back to my regular happy self.
IlovestarsIlovestars
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@j289l I have had the same exact thoughts and also have SOCD. What we experience is super similar and also super scary because it feels real. Every time I say something like “what if life never gets better or ill never be truly happy again” I also get worried about the SOCD, it’s all connected. Your ocd wants you to believe everything it’s saying completely
Jeff09Jeff09
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hi j289l, It’s me again. Everything you describe is exactly what I have been going through for about 6 months. Mine began with a very strong fear of killing my family after I saw a story on the news. I have been experiencing intrusive thoughts for about a year prior in regards to harming my little girl. This has now morphed into a fear of becoming depressed and killing my self, as my profession has a history of mental health disorders and suicide. I am struggling with the thoughts/questions of what is the meaning of life, is there meaning to life, am I happy. I had been doing pretty good for about a week and heard a story of someone whose son killed himself and I feel like I’m back to square 1. I also experience feelings that cause extreme anxiety, feelings of this sucks just give in. And I scares the hell out of me. Are you currently in treatment or on meds? If you don’t mind sharing of course.
j289lj289l
- Date posted
- 6y ago
My harm OCD actually revolved around hurting my family for many years while I was younger before I even knew what OCD was and before I was diagnosed. It evolved into SOCD too. I saw a therapist for 4 months every week and now I see her once a month and it really helped. She specializes in OCD. I have never taken medication. The therapy really helped. We practiced ERP. For example I read articles on depression and suicide and don't argue with my thoughts. It has been tough but I've been able to manage. I still get the thoughts especially when I'm stressed. I think stress really triggers OCD for everyone.
MiasMias
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Oh Thank you! - I dont have a depression though, But Im a afraid of it and these thoughts first entered my mind today, and I thought it was a little wierd!
jespencercrowjespencercrow
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I understand! Don't worry about it. If you don't have it now, SMILE! ? your doing amazing Mias ?
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Ellasmama
- Date posted
- 23w ago
Things that scare me
Is this ocd? I Have a thought or think something f harmful that I’ve gotten intrusive thoughts about - and get a feeling like I want/like it or it would give me relief??? Please tell me that will eventually go away and I’ll get my real feelings back??? Or have I just turned into those things? Sometimes things that make me upset it even feels like I’ll do them just so I can be upset about them.
marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 20w ago
Looking for advice
I went through ERP which helped a little but starting ICBT to hopefully help with rumination. I deal with suicidal ocd mainly which originally was a lot of specific harm thoughts and has now turned into “do I wanna do something” “am I depressed” and over analyzing everything that has to do with mental health. I’m on 20 of Prozac, have been for a couple months. My anxiety has almost went away but this week I’ve been concerned that I’m developing depression (for the first time ever), but I’m just not sure. I feel off. I feel “blah”. I’m worried that I’m not caring as much about things I did before. I’m ruminating a lot. Does anyone have any advice or insight? It’s really bothering me. I don’t want to freak out over this but want to prevent depression getting bad.
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I'm fearing myself and I hate it
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
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