Mias
- Date posted
- 6y
j289lj289l
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I've feared and obsessed about depression for very long. Then as I would obsess about it I'd even start feeling the symptoms of it but it turns out that those are the same symptoms of anxiety. I have suicide OCD and I think that's where my fear of depression stemmed from. I fear anything that might lead me to feeling unhappy and ultimately fear killing my self. I fear other mental illnesses like bipolar as well. I fear the same thoughts that you have "nothing makes sense, nothing makes me happy, like has no purpose, life has no meaning" I know they're not true. And when I'm not thinking these thoughts I'm back to my regular happy self.
IlovestarsIlovestars
- Date posted
- 6y
@j289l I have had the same exact thoughts and also have SOCD. What we experience is super similar and also super scary because it feels real. Every time I say something like “what if life never gets better or ill never be truly happy again” I also get worried about the SOCD, it’s all connected. Your ocd wants you to believe everything it’s saying completely
Jeff09Jeff09
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi j289l, It’s me again. Everything you describe is exactly what I have been going through for about 6 months. Mine began with a very strong fear of killing my family after I saw a story on the news. I have been experiencing intrusive thoughts for about a year prior in regards to harming my little girl. This has now morphed into a fear of becoming depressed and killing my self, as my profession has a history of mental health disorders and suicide. I am struggling with the thoughts/questions of what is the meaning of life, is there meaning to life, am I happy. I had been doing pretty good for about a week and heard a story of someone whose son killed himself and I feel like I’m back to square 1. I also experience feelings that cause extreme anxiety, feelings of this sucks just give in. And I scares the hell out of me. Are you currently in treatment or on meds? If you don’t mind sharing of course.
j289lj289l
- Date posted
- 6y
My harm OCD actually revolved around hurting my family for many years while I was younger before I even knew what OCD was and before I was diagnosed. It evolved into SOCD too. I saw a therapist for 4 months every week and now I see her once a month and it really helped. She specializes in OCD. I have never taken medication. The therapy really helped. We practiced ERP. For example I read articles on depression and suicide and don't argue with my thoughts. It has been tough but I've been able to manage. I still get the thoughts especially when I'm stressed. I think stress really triggers OCD for everyone.
MiasMias
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh Thank you! - I dont have a depression though, But Im a afraid of it and these thoughts first entered my mind today, and I thought it was a little wierd!
jespencercrowjespencercrow
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand! Don't worry about it. If you don't have it now, SMILE! ? your doing amazing Mias ?
Related posts
PRIV8
- Date posted
- 24w
This illness brings up intrusive feelings
I was told that this illness that im having now(some say its some kind of covid) is attacking people where they are the most sensitive, so it got my mental health and at first it was the fear of my health which im starting to face but now it got deeper and i have feelings of hopelessness and like a depressed feelings and thoughts like things wont get better. And i dont know where this comes from, im afraid this is actually what i believe. Dont know if its ocd or the illness actually made these problem come up what was pushed away by me... When i have these feelings my first reaction is fear and i dont know if its something i shouldnt give attention or the fear is actually bad and it makes me avoid the problem, so i should work on this depression... I dont know whats happening but its scarry and i dont like these dark thoughts. I think i suffer more because of the fear and shame of these thoughts but again i dont know if the fear and shame shows me that i dont need to give attention to these thoughts or the fear and shame actually blocks me to deal with these thoughts and feelings...
PRIV8
- Date posted
- 17w
Are you afraid to tell yourself you're depressed?
I'm really afraid to say that and the reason might be because of how depression is described to us. And at this point I dont know what is depression. I don't think feeling down is depression. Or sometimes feeling like things doesnt go as you want and you dont know what to do. Maybe it is, I can't tell it cause if i say im depressed in these situations it makes the situation worse, I feel like I put more weight on me. I know its common for depressed people to be ashamed that they are depressed and that might be my case too but as I said, many times I feel like I shouldnt call it depression, just feeling low or things has been stressful and it made me mentaly tired. I imagine depression as a different thing, i believe i was depressed before,because of ocd and i wasnt able to deal with my emotions, and sometimes I spin about that too cause again depression is presented differently in social media and by therapists too. So everytime i feel down i spin about if im depressed, afraid of depression cause I see it as a really bad thing.
LizM99
- Date posted
- 14w
Is this something OCD does?
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond