- Username
- feethebee
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Explore more posts
- Username
- KylenaKylena
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Tonight I sat with my feelings. I remembered a childhood experience that created a fear of absent caregivers. Which now manifest as absent romantic partners. I am currently not doing any kinds of reassurance. Just sitting with the discomfort of being by myself. Lol, I'm doing this activity which makes me feel.connected to people. I will stop now and just sit with my feelings. Good luck to you both just sitting with the root feeling behind these ideas.
- Username
- hopehope
- Date posted
- 3y ago
this is what truly haunts me. i know i don’t ever want to hurt any child and these are just obsessive intrusive thoughts that cause uncomfortableness, but of course my brain says the same thing “what if you’re just in denial!!!” and all these scary questions and it makes me feel so horrible inside. it does the same thing with my other themes too. that line scares me, it hunts me. it doesn’t cause me any joy having these intrusive thoughts, they make me scared, so that makes me feel like yes, this is definitely ocd. but then that question of “but what if you just have good morals” comes up and i get anxiety. it’s never ending rumination and torture...
- Username
- KylenaKylena
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I hear you hope. I've used the word torture to describe my intrusive thoughts as well. I msged my therapist last night just to check with her that I'm doing the treatment right because I felt the urge to replace the intrusive thoughts with another behaviour to reduce the discomfort I was feeling when I was just sitting with the feeling. I recognised it and I continued to sit with the discomfort. It took a very long time for me to get to sleep. I'm very fortunate ATM that for another reason I'm home off work so I didn't have to worry about not sleeping. It feels like the therapy is working for me. Yes my body is kinda screemimg at me atm. My ears are ringing, my heart rate is up, I'm shallow breathing. I'm getting dehydrated. All string signs of distress. The treatment is to allow the distress. Allow it. The solution to not needing that intrusive thinking is to allow the underlying feeling and all the physical sensations that come with it. I have hope. I have belief that by doing this, by allowing the distress I am reprogramming my brain to me more peaceful. It doesn't need the reassurance. It can handle it. And when nothing goes wrong it will learn to relax and not fear the thing I've been affraid of since I was 8 years old. This feels empowering. Give it a try. Good luck. I wish you all the health you deserve.
- Username
- hopehope
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Kylena wow thank you for this! you’re truly insightful and i totally agree. not responding to the thoughts and just letting them flow, even if they’re horrible and scream for your attention, it’s more beneficial in the long run than replacing the thought or ruminating and doing compulsions. :) i wish you peace from this disorder, a happier future with no more stress. i also have those symptoms you described as well do to OCD, it’s so hard, i feel your pain. we got this though, we can only get stronger from here. :)
- Username
- KylenaKylena
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@hope Oh I'm so happy to read this that I've helped you. Blessings for both of us! ❤️🤗
- Username
- 9jewels9jewels
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Me too. I said something the other day rather uncharacteristic of me and I felt awful about it and still do but my brain is making me feel irredeemable and a bad person. The line is ultra thin
Related posts
- Username
- ρєαcнєѕ
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Can POCD make you feel like you don’t know why sexually abusing children is wrong, just that you’re afraid of becoming a child abuser for whatever reason? I’m constantly struggling to figure out why pedophilia doesn’t make me disgusted or angry enough. I feel like I’m actually a pedophile who doesn’t know it yet or is in denial. I know I shouldn’t ruminate but I feel like there’s some truth to the thing I’m constantly obsessing over.
- Username
- ρєαcнєѕ
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Pocd is really eating at me right now. I’m getting more and more convinced that I’m actually a pedophile. I’m not even sure if I’m having intrusive thoughts or if I’m suppressing fantasies. There’s a lot of moral debates going on in my mind and it’s convincing me that I also like bestiality, incest, etc.
- Username
- 0Aqi0
- Date posted
- 5y ago
**tw; mentions of pocd and harm ocd** Sorry in advance for the long post. I feel as if I should address pocd, because talking about it to people who understand seems to help me a lot. I’ve always had OCD, however, I didn’t get this particular theme until I was 17 (I’m 19 now) and a senior in high school. Pedophilia was briefly mentioned in my psych course, and my brain went absolutely nuts telling me “what if I’m capable of being that.” Similar things have happened in my past; OCD tricked me into believing I was a murderer when I was around 7 because of crime segments on the news, and OCD later tricked me into thinking I could be a serial killer, but pocd arguably is the worst theme to have and all of you that have it are literally the strongest people alive. On top of that, I’ve only ever been attracted to older adults, yet this theme still persists. I just want to go back to the version of me that I was before I got this theme. If I had a do over in life I would have never taken that course, it straight up ruined my life. I will literally take any other theme over pocd at this point honestly. Thank you for reading if you’ve gotten this far, you’re a very patient person lmao bless.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond