- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
It sounds like you are ruminating. I am someone who without a doubt is attracted to women but I spent years wishing I didn’t, and still struggle with these thoughts at times. I believe this is normal and I would try not to give much power to your thoughts. Deep down, you know who you are either way
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ope.0 It's normal to feel arousal when you see something sexually real or just in your mind, men or women. This is something I realize when I was trying to do exposure by watching gay porn. Not the best idea by the way. Not to give to much details here, but my body reacted to the gay sex clip. Even though my body reacted, my mind was disconnected from what my body was feeling. It was sexual, I was aroused but it was not who I am so my mind close itself to the situation. It's like my therapist said it's just arousal non-concordance. Basically, it's like a thief who steals a car. If he push the right button the car will start. The car does not make the difference between the thief or the owner. No matter who it is, it will start the engine if the right button is pushed. The region of the brain responsible to start the arousal or not is quite primitive. If the nature of what you see or hear is sexual, the brain will fired up the arousal. It doesn't care about your preference. You have to see this as totally normal, but because we focus on everything our ocd deems suspicious it exacerbate the body reaction and our ocd interpretation of this reaction.
- Date posted
- 4y
Really triggering. I’d really appreciate if you could explain!
- Date posted
- 4y
I am confused with some responses but I apologize if anyone found my post triggering. I was only sharing my thoughts. I don’t struggle with sexual orientation as a theme of my OCD so I may not understand the issue at hand. I absolutely agree that my thoughts are denial, because I struggle to accept the truth about my sexuality and the potential social consequences of it (a theme of my social anxiety, judgment regarding who I’m attracted to). As most non straight individuals do, I struggle to accept that I am different from the socially accepted norm. That’s the nature of my denials, not any OCD related symptoms. I don’t identify as a lesbian because I despise the term. I’ve been in love with men and women and wish that sexuality wasn’t the huge deal society makes it to be. Sorry to muddle the conversation
- Date posted
- 4y
@Rosalie How are your thoughts denial? What’s the nature of them?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Rosalie well what i struggle with is not wanting to be attracted to women just because i don't want to. i don't care about what's socially "acceptable", i just don't want to like them
- Date posted
- 4y
I have know I wasn’t straight/I was gay since I was in the single digits. I do not have SOOCD
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm sorry if people made you feel unwelcomed, a lot of people panic though that your situation is what's happening to them because of the SOOCD
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I've always found women pretty and admired them since I was younger, never wanted to be with them or anything. I always pictured having a boyfriend and my crushes were always boys. I have a boyfriend now but because this has happened I feel nothing towards him or any men. To be honest I'm so exhausted I don't feel much at all, there was so much anxiety at the start and now there is none. Does that mean I have accepted the thoughts. My mind keeps going you were suppressed all these years but I do find women pretty so that's what's making it worse. Am I just in denial and being delusional? I never doubted my sexuality before this I always considered myself to be straight but I feels like my mind has been twisted and can't remember any attraction to guys but can remember thinking girls are pretty? Does this mean it's all real? I don't know anymore
- Date posted
- 23w
I feel sick to my stomach, a few days ago I knew I was straight and could picture my life with my bf again. The anxiety has really lessend and Im more depressed now. I'm 100% convinced I am lesbian even tho I have never had sexual attraction to women, found them pretty but never wanted to be with them. My mind is only picturing me being with women now and it feels like a pit in my stomach. I don't feel emotion now, I'm also on my period. I don't want to be lesbian. I want to be with my boyfriend and have the life I pictured with him. My memory is so dissorted right now. I don't think there's anything wrong with being lesbian, it's just not for me and now that makes me feel like I'm homophobic.
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- Date posted
- 20w
So i started to feel like a lesbian again and that i have to be one. I dont want to be one. I just dont. But being straight feel like a lie now. I question my whole life, my feelings and everything. The biggest indicator of this must be that i will be slowly 21 year old and ive never dated anyone and i dont really find anyone attractive and i dont even know if i truly was attracted to someone and im scared of relationships i might have trauma or have anxious avoidant attachment. Help me. I do feel lost. Really lost. I dont know who am I anymore. I feel like that i must have been gay my whole life now. I feel like an alien. I sometimes feel like 2 people are living inside of me.😞😞😞
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