- Username
- fems
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I can’t reassure you, and I think not asking and getting an answer to that question will help you calm down a lot ? Can you try and see for a while if you feel better if you try to not find that answer? It’s okay to feel lost, and it’s okay to feel uncertain. I understand %100 how you feel. but take a break tonight on figuring out all of these answers to these thoughts and questions in your head, and just only focus on grabbing yourself a snack and plush and relax for a bit. If these transgender thoughts come, let them be. Let them float like clouds. Shrug off and say “ok whatever maybe I am or maybe im not, im not paying attention to you. Im going to eat this food and im not stopping you, just flow through” Basically try and let the thought go through without intervening with mental rituals ?
Because you have OCD and the thoughts you care about most will be takin advantage of and twisted. Try not to let yourself do the compulsions.. short term relief is not what you want.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. ): It must be really tough and I can only imagine the heart ache. I’ve been through your shoes before, every sentence. Every single one (except replace the Hocd in the first sentence with Rocd). It’s the worse thing imaginable. How about pouring yourself a cup of milk to lie and relax? I know it seems scary but you are not alone. Trust me when I say this: exposure. Tell your boyfriend you love them, even if it hurts. Do not let this monster ocd get in your way of being the loving girlfriend you wish to be! Let these thoughts go through ⭐️ OCD is a bully. Don’t google advice or “do I love him “ articles and “I love him” quizes or “signs he isnt the one”. Don’t analyze your feelings. Take care of yourself ❤️ I’m sending love to you and your boyfriend! You will get through this! Give him a big hug even if ur ocd screams at you to get away! Ocd is ocd, the content doesnt matter. Whether its u loving your boyfriend or obsessing about your sexual orientation, you will always treat them with ERP and ACT and CBT. You can ask me all about those three!
And I’m sorry you’re going through this. I remember what it was like and it breaks my heart to see you go through the same thing
Do nothing. I've had the transgender issue as well. It's just a thought ? there is no meaning to it. Just let it be.
@fems I suppose so, as long as you know that at the end of the day, the context doesnt matter, the way you react to it does
@Georgia14 Do you think that maybe saying “because I know I love him” is a compulsion to reassure yourself of your friends? You cannot control your thoughts, you can however control your actions :) Let the thoughts flow through ☁️ have some act of the day: ACT Acceptance - Accept those thoughts and don’t fight them. Infact, encourage them and say bring it on ocd! Commitment - Commit to your values if your values are to be a loving girlfriend, act on those values by doing what you think a loving girlfriend should do. Yes this is exposure. But it is worth it! Good luck! ⭐️?
Thank you sm for all the love and support ❤️ but is the transgender thing normal like do u think I am just overthinking I am scared that It’s going to become a obsession... I am so lost
How do I stop it from being obsession do I ignore or do I do nothing ?
Thank you sm ❤️I really appreciate it !
But would u put transgender intrusive thoughts under sexuality ocd ? That might be dumb question but I am just curious because they always say hocd thoughts are about being gay or straight and nothing about the trans one that’s why I was so scared I thought it was a real thought!
I’m going through a similar thing I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend and I’m so happy with him but then I get thoughts like “do you really love him” and it drives me crazy sometimes because I know I love him
This really helps me so instead of trying to fight the thoughts just let them flow through and my goal is to focus on being a loving and caring girlfriend?
oops didnt mean to say friends! I meant feelings haha! And yes ? !!! It is okay if it seems hard but the more you try, the easier itll get
My boyfriend knows about the thoughts and struggles and he is so caring about it he helps me a lot?!!
I am glad you have support from them!! ✨
It may seem hard but I hope ERP goes well for you!!
What if I do t have ocd the thoughts feel so real like I am lying next to my boyfriend and having a scary thoughts imagining if I was a boy and it makes me so uncomfortable!!! Idk what to do is this normal for ocd I have hocd but now the trans thing is really getting to me
Take a deep breath. I can’t reassure you because it will not help you in the long run sadly ): but remember: at the end of the day, it is OCD and to get through OCD, you have to exposure yourself and not compulse. Thoughts... are like clouds... when you feel them, you may feel the need to instantly analyze and stop them right? do you think you can sit with the anxiety and not reassure yourself or do your mental rituals? The anxiety will eventually pass and the thoughts will too. Let them flow, don’t stop the clouds ? let them fly away If you need me, message me!
And I dont mean you always have to expose. It applies to being triggered by thoughts too
Uglyjd how can I message you? I feel so scared because not doing anything w the thoughts and just having them there makes me feel sad and depressed have u recovered ocd ? Is ocd ever gunna go away
I used to nap a lot and have constant headaches and stomach aches but eventually, I took care of myself more and the thoughts were easier to handle. Ocd can’t be cured but it can be easier to handle to the point of being able to look at the bad thoughts and say “oh hahaha lol I cant believe they used to scare me so much”!! Good luck!!?
But just having the thoughts just make me feel worst about myself because I know they not real but then I ask myself why am I even having them then I go crazy and then I try not doing anything about but it makes me depressed to have such uncomfortable thoughts like it , it makes me feel like I am in denial and guilty but my head and heart is telling me two different things and it makes me confused
Like I am so happy w my boyfriend and then I have these uncomfortable thoughts of me turning trans and then well I am trying to not think of the thought I see myself in the mirror confused and depressed
Fems, I think that you are asking these questions to find reassurance. That will not help in the run ): sadly✨ Try not to have all the answers to your questions and accept uncertainty and not knowing for sure. Maybe you are trans? Maybe you are not trans. Look at my advice above in this post ☁️ let the thoughts IN and I know it seems scary ): But try taking a break from this app? I know you might have the urge to knw all of these questions but really, unless its once in a while for things youve never encountered upon, the reassurance will make you feel better for a little while but will make your ocd worse In the long run. Take a moment to read all of what ive said above :) ✨?
Ik but it’s so hard... I have had another mental break down today over it I can’t stop crying because I don’t know how to be uncertain I feel lost like how can I just let it sit there the anxiety just get worst when I don’t reassure myself
Is there any way I can call you on skype? I think I can help you and give you tips throughout the week
Do u have fb messenger?
I have snapchat
How old are you ? Not in any rude age jw because I am 16 and I have snapchat too I can download skype if u want
I think I just added u
Okay I added you ?
I’m so afraid I might be lesbian. I was very anxious at first but it started to calm down. I’m only 15 and I have a boyfriend I love. At least I think I do, I always chose to question everything and over analyze. I found out about hocd and it described everything I was feeling. I’d take test and read articles like “am I lesbian” but I have never fantasied a girl or wanted to be with a girl sexually or romantically. But what if I’m in denial? I do think girls are physically attractive but I never crushed on a girl. I have always crushed on boys. And liked being with them. I’m just so lost. My anxiety about it had calmed down. But the question is still there sometimes. Earlier today, I found a girl pretty and I got scared thinking that meant something. Then I read about women who have married men, but they know they’re lesbian. I’m scared that that’ll Happen to me. I don’t want to be lesbian. No disrespect. But I just want to be happy. I think I’ve suffered from ocd before. Tell me anyone if I’m wrong. But I used to have thoughts of that my boyfriend would murder me in the future because of theses videos that triggered me. It caused me so much pain and felt so real. That I eventually started to think I’d murder my mom and sister for no reason. I felt so helpless. But I got through it. I hope I get through this. Please any advice? Is this hocd?? Does anyone else feel this way?
HOCD, ROCD and TOCD . . . So my OCD recently all began with ROCD, I felt guilty all the time with my boyfriend, I wanted to stay with him so bad and I love him so much but my anxiety kept telling me to leave and that something wasn't right, that I'm going to be alone forever. Then my HOCD came up, "something doesn't seem right, what if you're actually gay?" and I struggled with this for about 2-3 months. After accepting that even if I am gay, I'm staying with my boyfriend.. The theme of being a transgender came up. That was the absolute worst of them all. It was at a time my anxiety was at its Peak so I was feeling disassociated and my mind just tried to explain that feeling as "you're in the wrong body". I was thoroughly convinced I was a man in a girls body for a solid 3 weeks, I woke up and that was the first thing on my mind "your a man and now youre going to lose your boyfriend, your life and everything that makes you, you." I didn't want to be a man, but my mind was saying "too bad, you are". I eventually went to therapy for this feeling, (they didn't diagnose me with OCD so they weren't treating me as an OCD patient) the thoughts eventually went away but now I'm back on my HOCD. Ive now thorougly convinced myself that I'm gay and will be with a woman for the rest of my life. I don't want to be and this thought scares me. I want to be with my boyfriend, not a woman. But my mind is saying "too bad, just accept that your a lesbian, you're in denial, just come out" but I don't want to be a lesbian ? can anyone relate to the feeling of convincing yourself to the point where you believe it?
For as long as i can remember i have always been boy crazy. I have always had crushes on men, had sexual interactions with them, etc. I’ve never thought about a woman in that way. I remember around 2021 I had a “what if I were gay?” thought but after around a week it went away. Now the thought is back but 100x worse. Mid December 2023 i suddenly got the thoughts again. I can’t really pinpoint what triggered it, but it may have been the TV show I was watching. In the show a woman around her 30’s dated men and even married one but then all the sudden ended up marrying a woman later on. I starting to think “what if that happens to me?” I couldn’t fall asleep for days and would cry throughout the day. I eventually told my mom about this as I kept having anxiety attacks and she said well if you don’t only like men then that’s ok. But the thing is that I want to like men. I’ve always imagined my life with a husband and kids. I don’t understand how something like this could happen basically overnight. I used started therapy for my anxiety but how do I bring this topic up? Does anyone who has soocd/hocd think this sounds like ocd or could I really just be in denial. My days now consist of these persistent thoughts. I’m always on here or reddit/quora looking up my symptoms to see if anyone else feels the same. i don’t wanna feel like this anymore. i wanna go back to november when i didn’t have these thoughts. I’m still having the thoughts about a month later but the anxiety isn’t as bad which is making me feel worse. i feel like i should be more anxious considering i want to be straight. this isn’t me.
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