Anyone have any advice on excessive hand washing and cleaning? I have to wash my hands a certain amount of times after using the bathroom, worst part is I constantly have to start over again through fear I skipped a number it was counting wrong (despite knowing I didn’t) - this lasts HOURS. My hands never feel clean until I’ve spent 90 minutes washing and starting over, it’s exhausting. Can anyone relate/ suggest anything to help? Thank you!

Did you find the ERP challenging? I have the same anxiety and I'm trying to do ERP but the distress I'm feeling is terrible.

@2621 Yes, I’ve had a ton of anxiety! But I’m really motivated by my values to work through this. I know the anxiety and uncertainty won’t kill me; and I know having OCD is killing my joy. So I’m choosing to sit in the uncertainty and the anxiety to persevere. I’ve been able to cut my hand washing in half in 3 weeks.

@Lisa Noelle Wow this is amazing to hear from someone going through it. I’m currently seeking therapy and yet to try ERP, but can I ask what has it been that’s working for you? How have you managed to cut your hand washing? I don’t seem to have that completion feeling that they’re ever clean (unless spending hours washing)

@Kels123 I’m working with incredible therapist on this site. We started off talking about how my OCD affects my daily life. How it affects my relationships, my job, my ability to function; and then we talked about my values. I had an information packet to read and share with family. I also had motivational paperwork to fill out. Honestly I’m just so tired of suffering and having my fear guide my decisions and my life. The only way to beat this monster is through sitting with the fear. My contamination is both chemical and biological. Today in ERP I covered my hands in Lysol, let it dry, and then ate food with my barehands. It was SO anxiety inducing and so exhausting. But after some time passes, you feel like you can do anything and overcome anything. Think about how you would actually like to spend your time and invest your energy; I bet it’s not in OCD and compulsions. Everytime you do a compulsion you are telling your brain it’s unsafe and you are only reinforcing that fear. This just repeats the cycle and feeds the monster. Everytime you are compelled to do a compulsion, put it off, sit in the uncertainty, and remember what your life would look like without OCD.

@Lisa Noelle Wow this has helped me more than you can know. Thanks so much. And how specifically did you cut the hand washing in half? Did you just stop and sit with it still feeling dirty? Does the feeling go away after a while? I’m at the point where the idea of not doing it ‘just right’ would mean it would be all i think about and I won’t want to touch anything!

@Kels123 I started tracking all of my compulsions. So everytime I wash my hands it’s a “submit”, everytime I get the urge and don’t wash my hands it’s a “resist”, and then everytime I wash my hands and then dirty them again on purpose it’s a “rexpose”. Tracking made me WAY more aware of my compulsions and I slowly over the weeks worked to fill up the resist side over the submit side. I also try to put off the compulsions as long as possible, and I try to prioritize when I wash my hands. The exposures help hugely! I touch door knobs, garbage cans, my bathroom fixtures, the bottom of my shoes, etc and then resist a hand wash and eat with my bare hands. The anxiety is brutal, but I just observe what I am feeling and I don’t try to change it. I awknowledge that the anxiety is a part of my experience, it is unpleasant and uncomfortable; but ultimately it is for a greater purpose and it won’t kill me. I’ve touched all these chemicals and dirty items that I would normally not even dream about touching and I’m not dead….yet! Lol. Feeling like a real boss bitch over here. You can do it too!

@Lisa Noelle Thanks for explaining what you did. I think you've got tons of courage to have done it.

Yeah wow. I’d love to only be doing it two or three times though, mine has become such a problem I’m spending literally hours doing it. I’ve tried saying it out loud too but still I trick myself into thinking I’ve skipped a number. Thanks for sharing your experience though I appreciate it :)