is hocd worrying about your sexuality or not wanting to be gay??? because i have seen so many stuff and now i think this isn't hocd

both? because i worry i am gay and i don't want it but then isn't this denial with internalised homophobia????

what are you telling me i am and i should slowly start accepting it and not denying it anymore????

@Nour04 Anything in the universe is possible. Everyone lives with uncertainty. Start accepting the possibility that maybe you have started developing feelings for the opposite sex.

@Nour04 nobody can tell you whether or not you are gay and that’s something you need to start to understand. you are the only one that is able to tell if you are or arent. ocd makes you doibt everything and one one of your compulsions is coming on here and asking whether every sigle one of your thoughts means something and thats what is making you not get better

@Erebus you mean same sex. and are you saying i have????

@ocdomi but that person is telling me i do like girls

@Nour04 they are saying the POSSIBILITY that you have. they are saying that you for sure have. thats the main part of ocd recovery, acceptance. accept that you are having these thoughts. that doesnt mean you are accepting them to be true but the possibility that they can. thats what i did and im doing much better. if you know those thoughts dont align wkth your values then you must continue accepting uncertainty. again, nobody said that you are gay.

@ocdomi what if they do align??? and what if i am truly gay? and what if accepting the possibility means accepting that i am? and what if i truly am but just in denial???

@Nour04 thats the uncertainty that you have to accept. it hurts like a butch but its the only way for recovery. stop trying to figure out your sexuality and work on getting rid of the intrusive thoughts, groinals, and all that stuff so that you can live a normal life. stop asking what if questions cause thats CLASSIC ocd.

@Nour04 Yes, I said the same sex. It’s a possibility.

@Nour04 right there you just displayed that the ocd has control of you. you have got to stop being scared in order to get recovered

@Erebus so it's true?!?!?!

@Nour04 Hey you need to stop looking for answers from people on this app because we aren’t supposed to give you reassurance and how would we know if you’re gay. Only you know that. And don’t forget that you have the power to choose what kind of a life you want to live.

@Erebus well i don't want to so yeah probably kms because i don't want that. wtf that sounds like denial this is denial isn't it?!?!?!

@Nour04 Well it doesn’t seem like you know. First step is getting diagnosed. These people are telling you what to do but you need to see a therapist first so you can get diagnosed and then start seeing one that specializes in OCD. There’s not a lot we can do for you because we are still suffering.

@NihonWarrior516 i am still not diagnosed so do you mean this may be denial and not even hocd???

@Nour04 Suicide isn’t an option. What do you do? Who do you tell?

@Nour04 No I’m saying once you are diagnosed you can get a lot more help from people trained to help people with OCD. A lot of us walk a thin line when responding, it’s hard to give a response without giving reassurance. Sometimes we say things that can be misunderstood especially when someone is over analyzing everything we say. The fact of the matter is it can be anything but that doesn’t mean it’s the thing that you fear 100% OCD will try and convince you that you are what you don’t want to be, it latches into your deepest fears. When people tell you to accept the possibility they are not saying that you are one thing or another there is a possibility that everyone is something that they don’t want to be, we just obsess over it.

@Erebus i don't want to why are you telling me i am

@Nour04 hey, I know you’re probably anxious but these people aren’t trying to tell you that you are gay. the first step into recovery is considering and learning to accept uncertainty about this aspect of your life. It maybe tough and anxiety inducing but it really does help. wish you the best and if you have any questions let me know!

@Nour04 I’m not tellling you that you are anything. I am asking how would you cope with the possibility that you might be attracted to the same sex. Suicide isn’t an option. Your life would still await you waiting to be lived. Now whether you act on those feelings for the same sex is up to you. Is it that far fetched to say maybe you would find a way to cope?

@Nour04 Not necessarily accept that you are gay, no. Just accept that you can’t be 100% sure that you are not gay. That there’s some possibility that you could be somewhat gay.

@Erebus sorry i was so rude to everyone who was replying and trying to help. but thank you all!

The way to improve is to stop doing compulsions which are seeking for answers to get comfort, you are looking for people to re assure you to see if you are gay or not, if you keep doing that you will keep feeling like shit. It is so damn hard to sit in this uncomfort but that is what will make you better. Don't imagine yourself I'm scenarios to try and see what you feel to prove or reassure if you're gay or not cause that's a compulsion. To beat this thing you have to sit in the uncomfort then you will gain your life back. Don't ruminate and obsess over the thought that you might be gay, it's just a thought and it means nothing, that's like saying "I might like carrots" lol so what, it means nothing. Do not feed the fire, soon it will die out.

@Anonymous And also remember that ocd is the doubting disease, it will make you doubt everything about everything and it may make everything feel so damn real. There have been certain points where I feel like im fcked and I'm gay, but they were just phases where my anxiety was so bad but they always pass. It feels so real that you really think you are what you fear but it is just anxiety making you feel that. If it didn't feel real it wouldn't be a problem so just relax, take a deep breath, and don't do compulsions, just sit uncomfortable and live life like you always have and you will get better.

@Anonymous thank you infinitely for this! if you ever need me too i am here