- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Tell me this, how is your body? Sleepy, hungry, exhausted? Listen to it and make sure it's fueled and energized. Are you seeing a therapist? Are you medicated? Sometimes genetically we may be biochemically off - my mother has OCD and she never knew so be aware of how your parents emotions are handled as well. Make sure you stay away from google unless it's informative and no for reassurance.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have to go to work for a bit - I want to look up more of what you are going through since I don't have the fear in my way. I may be able to find useful information for you. I'll get back soon.
- Date posted
- 6y
Until then, breath, go on a walk, listen to some soulful music and smell the flowers - life is beautiful.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi there. I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling. May I ask, when you say gay trans man turning lesbian.. would that mean that you would be straight? As in you are afraid of liking the opposite sex?
- Date posted
- 6y
You always belong, and your always loved. It's never uncommon to go on websites that you shouldn't, and it's definitely not a big deal that you did! Your just exploring, and that's what OCD does! It takes your emotions and twists them in many ways. HOCD isn't something to beat yourself down about! And this isn't stupid. None of this is stupid--you should never think it is, because it's important you understand that what your feeling is completely fine I'm no expert, but maybe you should consider talking to someone in real life! Your always welcome to post here, the NOCD team is extremely welcoming, and the community is extremely tight! Your a normal person feeling normal symptoms of NOCD. There's nothing stupid about the way you feel. Remember your loved, and your cared for throughout this process. Have an amazing day! ???
- Date posted
- 6y
@waterlady the issue is i have this double edged fear that my gender identity is wrong and that ive been wrong about my sexuality. A friend shared some post on twitter a long time ago about "people who are lesbians and just never knew it" which sparked this stupid fear in me. My issues are pretty layered and its hard to really explain it all without writing a book lmfao
- Date posted
- 6y
Ok I see.. yes I can see how that twitter post made the spark happen. Listen, I've had the same issues in a different way. I'm a straight women who has been in past relationships with men and almost engaged to a man. During some periods of my life - I've had these hocd occurrences where I question is all. I think to myself.. what if I've been wrong and I secretly like women? (Most of my hetero relationships haven't worked out) then if I read about gender identity, I start questioning, am I women? Am I secretly wanting to be a guy? (I get along with guys and sometimes like them better as friends than girls) the doubt will spin me into extreme anxiety and I feel like everything I've known about myself was a lie and it tears me to pieces. Now, in this moment, right now, I've accepted the fact that I may never know but what I do have to trust is that I do have OCD. I have recently stopped looking for answers and started researching more about OCD. I'm not looking for the truth anymore, im learning new ways to cope with OCD and surprisingly, my symptoms of fear and "denial" have slowly evaporated. I think at this point, stop searching, start accepting and stat learning about how to cope with OCD.
- Date posted
- 6y
I think at one point, you just need to accept you have hocd and learn new ways to cope with it and I mean really accept it even if every part of you is saying your just in denial.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
- Date posted
- 16w
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
- Date posted
- 13w
I've had this app for awhile and was really nervous to post,comment or like anything.I still am,and frankly I've been having a really rough time which mostly includes ocd symptom,guilt/shame and agoraphobia which is not a fun combo but a small part of me is so tired of hiding and feeling awful all the time,even if at times I feel like I deserve it.I've been wanting to dabble into my hobbies like drawing or gaming but even my hobbies have been stressful & these negative feelings have been so awful for so long that I feel like I'm standing between two roads all the time yet feel horrified and worried either path when it comes to almost any decision will be wrong or not worth it in the end(and I hate that I feel like so.).I'm sure people can relate but the heavy loneliness and dehumanizing feelings is so awful,it's so good at it too.😭 I'm not diagnosed yet but I share alot of symptoms (interested to figure that out about myself soon.),but until I get medical insurance figured out I don't think I'll have access to professional help yet so for now I've just been watching some professionals online and I might finally read 'Freedom From Obsessive Personality Disorder' and see what it can offer.ANYWAYS,I'm trying to force myself to post so I can to people irl and online in any way I can train my brain to not stay so terrified of everything/everyone so,how has your day been?I hope it's been going well,if you've read this book or have any good suggests please feel free to let me know!
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