- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Tell me this, how is your body? Sleepy, hungry, exhausted? Listen to it and make sure it's fueled and energized. Are you seeing a therapist? Are you medicated? Sometimes genetically we may be biochemically off - my mother has OCD and she never knew so be aware of how your parents emotions are handled as well. Make sure you stay away from google unless it's informative and no for reassurance.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have to go to work for a bit - I want to look up more of what you are going through since I don't have the fear in my way. I may be able to find useful information for you. I'll get back soon.
- Date posted
- 6y
Until then, breath, go on a walk, listen to some soulful music and smell the flowers - life is beautiful.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi there. I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling. May I ask, when you say gay trans man turning lesbian.. would that mean that you would be straight? As in you are afraid of liking the opposite sex?
- Date posted
- 6y
You always belong, and your always loved. It's never uncommon to go on websites that you shouldn't, and it's definitely not a big deal that you did! Your just exploring, and that's what OCD does! It takes your emotions and twists them in many ways. HOCD isn't something to beat yourself down about! And this isn't stupid. None of this is stupid--you should never think it is, because it's important you understand that what your feeling is completely fine I'm no expert, but maybe you should consider talking to someone in real life! Your always welcome to post here, the NOCD team is extremely welcoming, and the community is extremely tight! Your a normal person feeling normal symptoms of NOCD. There's nothing stupid about the way you feel. Remember your loved, and your cared for throughout this process. Have an amazing day! ???
- Date posted
- 6y
@waterlady the issue is i have this double edged fear that my gender identity is wrong and that ive been wrong about my sexuality. A friend shared some post on twitter a long time ago about "people who are lesbians and just never knew it" which sparked this stupid fear in me. My issues are pretty layered and its hard to really explain it all without writing a book lmfao
- Date posted
- 6y
Ok I see.. yes I can see how that twitter post made the spark happen. Listen, I've had the same issues in a different way. I'm a straight women who has been in past relationships with men and almost engaged to a man. During some periods of my life - I've had these hocd occurrences where I question is all. I think to myself.. what if I've been wrong and I secretly like women? (Most of my hetero relationships haven't worked out) then if I read about gender identity, I start questioning, am I women? Am I secretly wanting to be a guy? (I get along with guys and sometimes like them better as friends than girls) the doubt will spin me into extreme anxiety and I feel like everything I've known about myself was a lie and it tears me to pieces. Now, in this moment, right now, I've accepted the fact that I may never know but what I do have to trust is that I do have OCD. I have recently stopped looking for answers and started researching more about OCD. I'm not looking for the truth anymore, im learning new ways to cope with OCD and surprisingly, my symptoms of fear and "denial" have slowly evaporated. I think at this point, stop searching, start accepting and stat learning about how to cope with OCD.
- Date posted
- 6y
I think at one point, you just need to accept you have hocd and learn new ways to cope with it and I mean really accept it even if every part of you is saying your just in denial.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
- Date posted
- 16w
I cant do anything anymore without my brain dregdging up proof from my past that I was actually trans and didn't know it, and it all seems so plausible. like I said in my last post its unearthing memories that I didn't even know I have. ik this is just ocd tricking me but I feel like I need to review every moment thoroughly bc I have questioned my gender in the past but always concluded that'd I'd happier as a girl (which is true). everything feels so real and it feels like I am just super in denial. also, how do I tell people about this? I made the mistake of confessing to a teacher on a note and only a couple friends of mine understand the thoughts I get, but I don't tell them everything. however its very hard for me to do basic responsibilities like school work and I always end up overwhelmed, so I'm thinking I may need accomdations. I need to get in touch with my counselor but i'm unsure how to explain all of this to her, being that I don't have a diagnosis....also I feel like I can't talk about this with the majority of my friends because gender ocd is rare to have (increasing my doubts) and, at least school-wise, i'm in very accepting environment for lgbtq and I'm afraid they're just gonna tell me to accept myself. I'm scared of doing erp for this because what if I like it (also cant afford therapy). ive also felt very apprehensive around some of my trans friends and classmates because my brain is going crazy asking "what if you're like them?" and I feel so bad and transphobic for these thoughts. i'm genuinely so tired. one of my closest friends died last year, but my father pointed out that my recent mood has been even worse than it was during that time. i tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, so everyone's just telling me to "let it go" and tell people, but if I do that I feel like i'll end up confessing. i'm so tired and lost.
- Date posted
- 12w
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
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