i haven't been sure about anything lately but now i am pretty sure i am gay in denial. is this me or the ocd talking?

yeah i get it but the thing is that i haven't been having much thoughts lately and if i did i was able to put them off or ignore them because i was distracted

@Nour04 so like it makes it feel like less ocd

well it used to at first but not anymore. like now i am crying and begging for it to be ocd. i can carry on with my days, not like when it first started, and the anxiety has lessened which makes me doubt it's hocd. i feel like people on this app really think i'm in denial

@Nour04 What if you don't try to get the answer right now? I don't wanna provide you too much reassurance, but this is a common experience for OCD sufferers. We get latched onto anxiety and it feels "normal" -- my themes aren't the same as yours, but I've had this experience with other things.

@kradish for the past 2 months or so thoughts have gone down a lot and it doesn't affect my life much anymore. this isn't ocd then right? i don't have debilitating anxiety anymore. i just am hopeless. do you think this is ocd? please be honest

@Nour04 Hi Nour04. Since being diagnosed with OCD (HOCD) I have noticed my disgust of sex with the same sex is less then before which now scares me due to accepting the thoughts but trying not to agree with them. But the thought of having sex and more importantly a romantic relationship with the same sex is a put off for me and creates anxiety. I have kind of just accepted the fact that I might be bisexual or gay. The main thing is I love my wife and wish to continue the romantic relationship with her. I am 41 so it has not been easy going through this too as I have 2 daughters, ages 7 and 9. Stay strong Nour and live one day at a time in try your best to live in the present. It is hard but the more you focus on what you want in life the better it will be.

@HSP I was diagnosed when I was going through another theme and then jumped to my sexuality. That is how I know it is OCD.

i don't think i'm even that distressed. i don't know who i am anymore or what "part" of me is talking

@Nour04 sometimes i am okay with the idea of liking women and am able to say i don't care whatever, but then i say "but i don't want to"

@Nour04 Try to stick with the not caring. You can do this! The thought is distressing but it's just a thought. It will pass. The best you can do is work on your reaction to the thought. :)

@kradish thank you for being so kind and sweet and taking the time to reply to me! thanks infinitely!!