- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I was quite surrounded with children and didn't get any feelings out of it. I wasn't nervous at all. Nothing but shitty thoughts but. It's like deep down I know for a fact I'm not at all attracted to that demographic whatsoever, but ocd loves to be like "but what about this thing you did back in high school" or "what about this video you saw" or "what about the thoughts you have" and I slowly stop trying to figure it out
- Date posted
- 3y
So happy for you, man!!! Something similar happened to me recently — I went to a resort and this little girl was SO attached to me, she absolutely adored me and had me give her piggy back rides and always wanted to play with me and I still had thoughts and worries but I made it through and barely ruminated and was mostly fine.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Madison the ERP Ninja I'm happy for you too!! There will be times where little kids and babies will look at me and I look at them back and I just can't help but find it to be so adorable. I don't feel anything after and I just continue. Only the thoughts go on but they go away soon enough. It's so weird. Like at home I'm constantly ruminating on false memories and things of the past, things that I don't even take part in or think of doing anymore, and so little of that is there when I'm outside focused on other things. But I'm glad this is the way it is. I'm better off not figuring it out
- Date posted
- 3y
@Madison the ERP Ninja awww that’s adorable 🥰
- Date posted
- 3y
if you’re comfortable saying, what did you do in highschool
- Date posted
- 3y
@pai 😽 A lot of things. I was simply just a shitty teenage boy around high school. I wasn't that nice to people, a friend told me at the time I called him fat everyday, which I don't even remember. I was addicted to porn, I watched all kinds of filth, it made me only see girls for their bodies, and I think at the time I resented them too. Porn for the most part made me a person I never thought I would become and I'm separating myself from it as far as I can. Strangely enough, I don't ruminate about any of the things I just mentioned, other than when I brought up the porn. Just hate how impulsive I was and how addicted I was to porn basically. OCD is pretty much attacking that in many different ways and I'm just trying to do better
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 well i’m glad to see that you’ve recognized your faults and are changing. a lot of people don’t. i’m trying to become a better person too 🤞
- Date posted
- 3y
@pai 😽 Yeah, I could be handling it worse. I could be blaming other people that had nothing to do with my struggles or I could flat out just not get better or improve, which is why there are some days that I kinda thank my OCD for being here. I know that sounds weird but I'm able to look at it like this: It gets me riled up about things I would never want to be in life and I guess in a way I make sure that those things never come true. But, there are the times where it's completely out of line of course. Hope that makes sense.
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