I’ve been doing so good, very minimal inteusive thoughts. But now im scared that Im actually turning into what I fear and like the thoughts. Ugh

I deal pretty heavily with this. The last couple days, I’ve had what I think are urges. Something pops into my head intrusively and then what stems from that is me WANTING to just indulge in it even though it’s gross. I get worried bc I used to struggle w thoughts about my dad for a long time until eventually I just purposely thought of him while self pleasuring and got off to it. While that’s something I did, it is NOT me. It all stemmed from my mental health declining a couple years back, I was never this way before. So I get worried that it almost happened or might happen with my pocd cuz I could never live with myself if it did.

Does anyone else’s OCD convince them that bad thoughts are not actually that bad…. Like I know they are so why do I feel like they arent😭😭

(Trigger warning) So recently I’ve caught myself being more content with these thoughts…and due to the fact of me not freaking out is making me freak out because I also have this weird little birdy in my thoughts that just say “do it” I’m not sure if I’m the only one and I’m ofc scared of that but please tell me this is normal…I can’t even cuddle my boyfriend or anything right now.