- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Let him know you'd like him to ask for consent before putting it in raw, that u were a little caught off guard. Boundaries are good and healthy. Me Me and my s.o have a method where he is in raw until he feels he's getting close, then he pulls out and we put a condom. Don't wanna risk any babies š I'd say look in to birth control too!
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes definitely! I'll bring it up first, he usually asks me about other stuff, I guess he just assumed it was okay and I was ready since I knew of his wishes before and didn't stop him. (I didn't because I wanted to as well but it would've been nice if he asked first of course)
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes I do think he should have asked. How old are you two? Sex education should be more clear.
- Date posted
- 4y
We're both 22. I've never been with someone before and I think he's only been sexual with one more person before.
- Date posted
- 4y
I agree with the others,he seems like a caring guy so he didn't mean to overstep boundaries,but as he is understanding just let him know you would have preferred if he phrased it as a question and not a wish... And yes,if you are not taking baby pill or anything really look into it and use condoms until then,it looks like you are young and not together for that long so you really don't want to get pregnant at that point. Personally,I also wait longer to make sure it's a stable, long-term relation also for more safety against sexually transmitted diseases.
- Date posted
- 4y
Definitely. He actually told me maybe we should start using condoms again so the aftermath anxiety won't affect me that much (I was anxious after and had to take a plan b but I know he pulled out on time, I saw it) He doesn't like seeing me in distraught and would like for me to have some peace of mind. He takes great care of me. And yes, we're only 22 and been together for 6 months only
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
i was with my lover we didn't have that much time together and at some point she fell asleep because she was overwhelmed. at first, I was okay with it but as time passed I started to feel stressed andd annoyed, because i wanted to spend time together which is no excuse i feel bad about this. also, i hoped we might have been intimate ( i didn't tell her or ask her to be intimate tho) and the fact that she was sleeping meant that we couldn't cus we wouldn't have had enough time so idk i felt annoyed about that. i have this thing that i deeply hate where every time we have alone time together i get the hopes that we might be intimidate but when j realise we probably can't i start having this obsession where i have to reassure myself to the point of nausea because the idea of being disappointed ( or actually feeling disappointed) about not having sex terrifies me ,it makes me feel like im dangerous or that i want to force myself on her so i just start repeating to myself that it's fine. so like this obsession started happening, but im afraid that for a moment ( idk how brief it was, im deeply ashamed of this ) i felt justified about being annoyed about not having sex because she was sleeping and it's not fair cus she was struggling and overwhelmed and i should have cared about that not about fickle things. but still I was annoyed and stressed out ( because I also started feeling really guilty ) and when she told me she was sorry about her mood i don't think i reassured her properly, i told her it was okay but i wasn't that sweet, I was a bit quiet idk if i actually seemed annoyed. after a little while i tried to stop feeling this weird wnd i tried to focus on her and how she felt, so I cuddled her and tried to make her feel better. I reassured her that she had nothing to be sorry for, that it's okay if she had a bad day. in the end she did feel better, she thanked me a thousand times for being patient and kind but that made me feel even worse because internally i felt annoyed which is horrible. i feel terrible also, i tried to wake her up a few times. it's not unusual because she usually tells me to let her nap 10 minutes. so at first i let her nap for like 30 mins cus she had very little sleep that day, i wanted her to rest. and then j started to try and wake her up, when she wouldn't wake up i would let her nap a little while longer ( at least 10 mins ) but i feel bad because i probably was a little pushy because i felt annoyed about not having that much time together and so not having time to be intimate. idk. i feel horrible. i shouldn't be that annoying and annoyed about not having sex, It feels so scary that i insisted on waking her up, i hate being pushy. idk
- Date posted
- 18w
I'm 30 years old and in my first official relationship. We've been talking for three months and dating for two. I like this man very much. He's kind-hearted, thoughtful, incredibly smart, and very sweet to me. On our most recent date, we had a heart-to-heart about intentions. We've only slept together once. Circumstances haven't been ideal for both of us, but I was worried there was something wrong with me (story of my life). He assured me that there isn't anything wrong with me and that he is attracted to me, there's just been a lot going on that's gotten in the way of being that intimate. He also told me he wants me to know that this is more than sex. I was very relieved to hear this, and very happy to know that he wants a deeper relationship, as I want this, as well. I just keep worrying that he thinks all I want is sex, which is not true. I told him as much, but the OCD part of my brain just can't let it go and can't accept that things are good, which they are. We show affection in other ways, like holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling at the movies. I just keep feeling like I've ruined things. Can anyone give me any advice?
- Date posted
- 9w
Hey, was hoping someone could resonate with what Iām thinking / feeling. Apologies as it will probably be a long one! Has anyone else had a constant rumination over āconsentā me and my partner had a situation two years ago, we were went on a night out, were both pretty drunk (me more than him, but both had quite a bit to drink) had a big argument- we got home and went to bed, in the night, I was half awake, heard him saying my name, I didnāt respond so he rolled over, later on mabye like 10 mins, he said my name again- from his memory, I responded and we were āintimateā how we usually would be, and he said I seemed how I usually would, responded like I typically would and was involved and participating, I woke up the next day, could remember little bits of things, but very very minimal stuff- we talked about it and he was really gutted and listened to the fact I was worried that I couldnāt remember everything, he was so upset- (I donāt think itās totally unusual for me not to remember intercourse, especially after a few drinks) he totally understood and tbh has dealt with my boundaries perfectly since. At the time I went through a really really bad stage of extreme anxiety and rumination over it (iv also got a bit of trauma with this topic from previous relationships) And it was taking over my life, I posted in a girls group I was in what the situation was, most of the people said that mabye itās just a bit of boundary setting but it dosent seem like anything was intentional and he seems like a good person who cares about me (which he is) - there was one girl, who replied, and the reply was that I should go to the police, and it was r*p* and that it was taken advantage and all this really strong stuff, obviously being the way I am, my brain has absolutely clung to that comment, and two years down the line, i still cannot shake it off- I know who he is; and I know heās respectful and is an all round good partner, but the what ifs, doubting, and that comment are still taking over my life to this day. I just donāt know what to think and how to feel anymore š If you managed to read it all, I appreciate it! I know itās not short so thank you š
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