- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Let him know you'd like him to ask for consent before putting it in raw, that u were a little caught off guard. Boundaries are good and healthy. Me Me and my s.o have a method where he is in raw until he feels he's getting close, then he pulls out and we put a condom. Don't wanna risk any babies š I'd say look in to birth control too!
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes definitely! I'll bring it up first, he usually asks me about other stuff, I guess he just assumed it was okay and I was ready since I knew of his wishes before and didn't stop him. (I didn't because I wanted to as well but it would've been nice if he asked first of course)
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes I do think he should have asked. How old are you two? Sex education should be more clear.
- Date posted
- 4y
We're both 22. I've never been with someone before and I think he's only been sexual with one more person before.
- Date posted
- 4y
I agree with the others,he seems like a caring guy so he didn't mean to overstep boundaries,but as he is understanding just let him know you would have preferred if he phrased it as a question and not a wish... And yes,if you are not taking baby pill or anything really look into it and use condoms until then,it looks like you are young and not together for that long so you really don't want to get pregnant at that point. Personally,I also wait longer to make sure it's a stable, long-term relation also for more safety against sexually transmitted diseases.
- Date posted
- 4y
Definitely. He actually told me maybe we should start using condoms again so the aftermath anxiety won't affect me that much (I was anxious after and had to take a plan b but I know he pulled out on time, I saw it) He doesn't like seeing me in distraught and would like for me to have some peace of mind. He takes great care of me. And yes, we're only 22 and been together for 6 months only
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Every time we go out together and itās not just us itās also our manager and her son and his (the guy Iām talking to) roommate. We went to church one time alone. But my thing is I keep overthinking āam I leading him onā I still donāt know what to feel just and Iāve never been in a relationship. When we see each other we hold hands and and hug but I donāt want to kiss just yet even though I get the feeling to because I want to take it very slow especially when. Iām constantly overthinking everything. We hang out and Iām having a good time and then I go home and overthink a lot. Itās worse when Iām overthinking when waking up. Has anyone else experienced this. Like weāre friends right now but does anyone think itās to soon to be holding hands and hugging. We held hands the second time meeting because Iām aware I want to take things slow. When I see him I get happy. I keep seeking reassurance from my mom, sister and google (of course) and I keep seeing post that you shouldnāt lead someone on and you canāt force to like someone. I overthink and then Iām calm and the thoughts start again. I really donāt want to hurt this guy he is so sweet and caring
- Date posted
- 16w
WARNING THIS IS A +18 POST I'm 24 years old and I never had a girlfriend, and in the past I felt bad about it but now i'm glad that I didn't had sex yet. I feel like I won't find a girl who is virgin too at this point, maybe it's because this is what people around me say, but even if I don't I have to work on accepting that people can change and the past doesn't matter. I wasn't a christian when i was in highschool so the reason that I didnt had sex was because I was shy and I didnt had confidence. Now because of ocd alot of times i feel mentally tired, i barelly can care for myself and those times i question how could i care for my girlfriend,I would feel alot of shame that I cant be a man for her, so maybe its good that im still single. My view about wainting until marriage changed however i still struggle sometimes with questions, I don't have close christian friends, people I go out with arent believers and it doesnt seem like not waiting until marriage had a bad effect on them. I dont believe that theres a thing that you cant connect with someone sexually,cause they always say what if you cant connect with them and you find it after marriage, I dont believe in that,I think you can work on it with anyone,however there are alot of stories of christian couples who cant connect sexually and they get divorced... so sometimes this question bugs me. Another reason is,I feel like planning your wedding and the whole party its just too much for me now, I dont say I wont have it, its just im 24 now and i feel like im too young for that,I feel weird about it, maybe when I will be 28 it will feel okay, but then if I get a gf, waiting for 3-4 years would be really hard.As I know myself I wont be able to tolerate the sexual tension more than a year, so I struggle with these things, you might say im childish, I accept that, maybe in time these will change. So if you are still here thank you, I made it really long cause I think its still important for you to know these details cause now i talk about what triggered me today. I watched a podcast about sex and how to prepare yourself for it(cause I dont like that people say as a single christian you should stay away/run away from that topic) and at one point they talked about "debuking the myths of sex" and the first one was that if you will wait until marriage, you will have a good sex life and good marriage. And i was like but thats the point, but dont misunderstand me, im not viewing this like there will be no struggles and growing is not needed, yes offcourse but stay with me cause then they said "sex at the first time should be akward(im okay with this,but then...) it should make you feel shame and discusted/discomfort, and this triggered me. I know for girls its usually painful but I heard alot of people said first time was really good, even christians on the internet who says they waited for it says it was really good. But I find the other group too who says its much harder, its akward and im like then whats the point of the honeymoon? I dont day honeymoon should be perfect but somewhat good,no? If its just a struggle that kind off takes away the beauty. You still have to find what is best for both of you but if you feel shame,discust,and akward thats a bad experience. And what should make your relationship stronger, it actually gives you more problems.When I was watching this, I got hit by those feelings cause in the past I felt shame and discust when i thought about sex and i didnt liked that cause sex is holy and its a good thing,but you say after wating so much,fighting with lust and sexual tension, finally waiting until marriage I will feel shame and discust about having sex? What if then it will be hard to do it again and it damages the marriage? Alot of these christians who make these videos had sexual life in the past so they wont feel shame and discust but we who are still virgins dont know anything about it and this is why sometimes i question is it worth to wait until marriage...
- Date posted
- 16w
i was with my lover we didn't have that much time together and at some point she fell asleep because she was overwhelmed. at first, I was okay with it but as time passed I started to feel stressed andd annoyed, because i wanted to spend time together which is no excuse i feel bad about this. also, i hoped we might have been intimate ( i didn't tell her or ask her to be intimate tho) and the fact that she was sleeping meant that we couldn't cus we wouldn't have had enough time so idk i felt annoyed about that. i have this thing that i deeply hate where every time we have alone time together i get the hopes that we might be intimidate but when j realise we probably can't i start having this obsession where i have to reassure myself to the point of nausea because the idea of being disappointed ( or actually feeling disappointed) about not having sex terrifies me ,it makes me feel like im dangerous or that i want to force myself on her so i just start repeating to myself that it's fine. so like this obsession started happening, but im afraid that for a moment ( idk how brief it was, im deeply ashamed of this ) i felt justified about being annoyed about not having sex because she was sleeping and it's not fair cus she was struggling and overwhelmed and i should have cared about that not about fickle things. but still I was annoyed and stressed out ( because I also started feeling really guilty ) and when she told me she was sorry about her mood i don't think i reassured her properly, i told her it was okay but i wasn't that sweet, I was a bit quiet idk if i actually seemed annoyed. after a little while i tried to stop feeling this weird wnd i tried to focus on her and how she felt, so I cuddled her and tried to make her feel better. I reassured her that she had nothing to be sorry for, that it's okay if she had a bad day. in the end she did feel better, she thanked me a thousand times for being patient and kind but that made me feel even worse because internally i felt annoyed which is horrible. i feel terrible also, i tried to wake her up a few times. it's not unusual because she usually tells me to let her nap 10 minutes. so at first i let her nap for like 30 mins cus she had very little sleep that day, i wanted her to rest. and then j started to try and wake her up, when she wouldn't wake up i would let her nap a little while longer ( at least 10 mins ) but i feel bad because i probably was a little pushy because i felt annoyed about not having that much time together and so not having time to be intimate. idk. i feel horrible. i shouldn't be that annoying and annoyed about not having sex, It feels so scary that i insisted on waking her up, i hate being pushy. idk
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