How to cure my OCD at home? Or will be able to? I can't go to a therapist because mental health is still a taboo in my area and I am only 17. Secondly, even if they agree to take me to the therapist... I'll have to open up about the previous relationships I've had and if my parents come to know about them, I am dead. It's a lose lose situation for me.

I have OCD, but my parents don’t understand what I’m going through. All I wanted was for someone to be by my side and support me, but they dismiss my struggles, telling me to "just stop thinking" and that I’m making a big deal out of nothing. When I asked for a new therapist because my current one isn’t helping—she isn’t even an OCD specialist—they became angry and didn't believe I need therapy and instead blame me for everything. My father was so mad, he insist to gave me a knife and kill myself. He threatened to isolate me completely, cutting me off from school, the internet, and everything else. My mom cried and shut me down when I tried to explain my pain. They refuse to listen and my dad said it’s all my fault. That day they threw me outside the house for a night, and called me back in telling me to forget everything and forgive them, but I understood that I will not be able to mention anything about my mental health or seeing an OCD specialist ever again, I am completely alone now. With no financial support, and now I don’t know if I’ll ever get the proper therapy I need. I’m only 15, but it feels like I’ll be trapped in this suffering forever, I feel hopeless, I feel like shit, I am going to suffer forever with no support and help.

I cant afford therapy which is why i’m not diagnosed with ocd. The first time i had heard what ocd was truly abt was 6 years ago when i overthinking my sexual identity and it fit. Additionally, i struggle with debilitating health anxiety and when i was in a rlt i was extremely anxious that i might not love my partner. This is the third year i experience distress around my sexuality but this year it feels real. And it could also explain my rlt anxiety. Comphet is a concept that really scares me. I dont want to be with a girl. I would rather die than discover i was lesbian. I cant accept uncertainty cz i dont want to be homosexual. Chat GPT told me it wasnt ocd + the thoughts dont distress me anymore. I experience 3 intense weeks of anxiety prior to now. Maybe its internalized homophobia. Maybe its comphet. I do find women to be attractive but i dont wanna be with them. Maybe i’m in denial. Idk anything anymore. I’m remembering times where i would find an actress attractive and try to shift my focus towards the man cz it would make me anxious. I’m not well at all.

17f There is a chanse I will get prescribed medication but it's implied that I will go to therapy too. But therapy in my country is very shitty. I'm absolutely not comfortable talking about my POCD there. I have other ocd themes, like checking, symmetry, moral ocd, troubles reading because of ocd and some other themes, but they are not that severe and they don't make me sui🔪idal (please don't flag my post, you will make it worse). Like I can deal with them, but real even ocd and pocd are absolutely insane and I need help, but I know I won't get it there. I'm thinking of moving to another country in the future if I will make it. But to function and stay alive I need meds, cause a lot fo times its extremely bad. So idk is it possible to just be on meds with no therapy